Simon Jokes

• Short Simon Jokes
• Simon One Liners
• Simon Says Jokes
• Simon And Garfunkel Jokes
• Simon Cowell Jokes
• More Simon Jokes

Funniest Simon Short Jokes

Short simon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The simon humour may include short simon says jokes also.

1. Jay Leno walked past a painting of Simon Cowell surrounded by his dogs during AGT. And said: Cowell looked at the dogs like they were on the menu at a korean restaurant.
2. I think "Scarborough Fair" is Simon & Garfunkel's most haunting song To this day, I still wonder, "*Did* Parsley save Rosemary in time?"
3. Why did Jesus change St Peter's name? Because otherwise everyone would listen to what Simon says, and not what Jesus says.
4. A teacher asks a student Teacher: Now simon, tell me do you say your prayers before eating?
   Simon: No miss, I don't have to, my mom's a good cook.
5. Hello everyone, and welcome to the first meeting of the simon says club! Please have a seat!
   \-sigh\- looks like we have some work to do
6. I nervously applied to sing on american idol and Simon Cowell asked if I could perform under pressure. I said no,but I could do Bohemian Rhapsody!
7. A friend of mine asked me how he could become a more effective boss... I said, just change your name to Simon.
8. Musicians writing books I want to write a book about Musicians that write books about their music, I will call it Simon & Schuster and Garfunkel.
9. My Dad just told me about his Simon & Garfunkel garden... *Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme*
10. I I wrote I wrote this I wrote this joke I wrote this joke playing... I wrote this joke playing Simon

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Simon One Liners

Which simon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with simon? I can suggest the ones about peter and recite.

1. What do you call a jamaican guy exhaling deeply? Simon.
2. Teacher: Simon, can you say your name backwards? Simon replies: No Mis
3. Who sent Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel a friend request on Facebook Darkness.
4. What do you call a picture of Simon Pegg's brother? JPEG
5. What did the pirate say to Simon and Garfunkel? ARRRRRR you going to scarborough fair?
6. I could've been a boxer, like my father. He could've been one too
   Source: Simon Munnery
7. What does Simon Cowell tell his girlfriend? You've got that Ex-Factor.
8. Why did Paul Simon name his garage funk alternative band? Simon and GarFunkAl.
9. Who sells pies from inside of another pie? Simple Simon, Meta-Pieman
10. So i heard Simon LeBon converted to Islam The band changed its name to Quran Quran
11. Did you hear about the new movie called Love, Simon ?
12. Did you know Simon Cowell has become a priest? He's reached Critical Mass.
13. What cameras do Simon and Garfunkel shoot on? Leica bridge cameras
14. It doesn't matter what the bible says... It only matters what Simon says.
15. Where does Simon Belmont go to buy food? Wall-mart.

Simon Says Jokes

Here is a list of funny simon says jokes and even better simon says puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• People say musicians are gems I used to think Simon and Garfunkel were real gems,
  but then I about diamond and carbuncle.
• What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships? "Have a good one, son."
• Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
• I heard Simon say, "Turn to the next page."

Simon And Garfunkel Jokes

Here is a list of funny simon and garfunkel jokes and even better simon and garfunkel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What did Simon & Garfunkel do when the teacher asked them if they did their homework? They lie la lied, lie la la la la lied la la lied, l-l-l-l-lied and said the dog ate it.

Simon Cowell Jokes

Here is a list of funny simon cowell jokes and even better simon cowell puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I went on ebay yesterday searching for a dictaphone... It gave me Simon Cowell's phone number!
• Simon Cowell's best line? To contestant: Your mouth's so wide its like a cave :|
• What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars? Date Simon Cowell.

Gather Around for Heartwarming Simon Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about simon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean contra jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make simon pranks.