Similar Jokes
141 similar jokes and hilarious similar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about similar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you need a good laugh? Check out this article to explore some of the funniest similar jokes around. Learn about "Joe Mama" jokes, "BOFA" jokes, and discover similarities between words and their meaning. Get ready to giggle and rate your favorites by up- and downvoting!
Funniest Similar Short Jokes
Short similar jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The similar humour may include short likewise jokes also.
- CSI Alabama was a failure . . . . . . all of the DNA is too similar and there are no dental records.
- I accidentally referred to my wife as my girlfriend today Their names aren't even that similar
- What's the similarity between semicolons and pregnancies? Both mean you won't be seeing a period for a little while.
- The only similarity between Bernie Sanders's speeches and Hillary's speeches is ......both inspire you to vote against Hillary.
- Racism and nickelback are very similar It's fun to joke about them, but you never wanna see them live.
- The Italian government has decided to put a big clock similar to Big Ben in the leaning tower of Piza. Now they'll have the time as well as the inclination.
- What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal? They both die when dissected
- Some people think vasectomies and castration are similar procedures but there's a vas deferens between the two.
- How is a thrown dictionary similar to birds flying south for winter? They're both flying information.
- What is the similarity between a communist and an IT technician? They both believe restarting it might work.
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Similar One Liners
Which similar one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with similar? I can suggest the ones about related and likes.
- How are a grenade and a wife similar? If you pull the ring off it, the house is gone
- What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes? Americans don't get them.
- My girlfriend and i are quite similar They're both imaginary
- How is a meditating monk and a fiber-optic cable similar? Total internal reflection.
- What's similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet? They're both off and running.
- How are teenage boys and the enzyme helicase similar? They both want to unzip your genes
- Similarity between a feminist and a gun? They are both loud when triggered.
- Why Do Most Diamonds Look So Similar? They're all just carbon copies of each other.
- How similar are dad jokes to uncle jokes? Well, they're related.
- How are optometrist jokes like dad jokes? Pretty similar. Just a little cornea.
- How are bad dubstep and constipation similar? Both leave you waiting for the drop.
- How are Michael Jackson and Starfish Tuna similar? They both come in little cans.
- People and bottles are very similar If they get alcohol inside them they will get drunk
- What's the similarity between DNA and diarrhea? They both run in the genes.
- What's a similarity between my dad and task manager? They both stopped responding.
Similar Words For Jokes
Here is a list of funny similar words for jokes and even better similar words for puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why doesn't Nigel Farage like election forecasts? He dislikes ~~poles~~ polls
How do you type jokes that rely on similar sounding words? It hard :( - TIL that the word 'democrat' comes from the roots 'demo' meaning hatred, and 'crat' meaning evildoer. I think the word 'gullible' has similar roots
- Can you think of a word with the same definition as "generic"? Well, "Homogenous" is kind of similar.
- What's a word that means homogeneous? Generic is kind of similar.
- I always use words with similar meaning in a sentence like.. forexample.
Unearthly Funniest Similar Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about similar you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean approximately jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make similar pranks.
What is the similarity between women and square roots?
If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, the fire dwindling nearby, Holmes said: "Watson, look up and tell me what you see".
Watson said "I see a fantastic panorama of countless of stars".
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it suggests to me that if there are billions of other galaxies that have roughly similar stellar population densities as represented by my view, that, potentially, trillions of planets may be associated with such a galactic and, therefore, stellar population. Allowing for similar chemical distribution throughout the cosmos it may be reasonably implied that life-and possibly intelligent life-may well fill the universe.
Also, being a believer, theologically, it tells me that the vastness of space may be yet another suggestion of the greatness of God and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, the blackness of the sky and the crispness of the stellar images tells me that there is low humidity and stable air and therefore we are most likely to enjoy a beautiful day tomorrow.
Why? - What does it tell you, Mr. Holmes?"
Holmes: "Someone stole our tent".
Abortion - it really brings out the child in you.
Anyone got any similar puns?
Also:
- 9/11 jokes are just plane rude.
Similarities and differences between the Canadian and Chinese constitution.
Both have freedom of speech but only one has freedom after speech.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery.
But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.
As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located who had a similar blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab.
After the surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW motorcycle, diamonds and a substantial sum of money.
A couple of days later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery.
His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates.
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me another motorcycle, diamonds & money... but you only gave me a thank-you card & a box of Quality Street chocolates."
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in ma veins".
Martial Arts for weak prisoners
A new martial art similar to taekwondo is being developed for weak people that go to prison. It is named TyroneNo
How are lawyers and apples similar?
They both look good hanging from a tree
There was one similarity between Lincoln and Kennedy's assassination that everyone overlooked...
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe
What's the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice
There's nothing worse than the day they come in the mail
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How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?
If it ends up on your wall, you're probably r**....
How are women and tsunamis similar?
At first things are wet and intense, then you lose your house.
I'm going to open a restaraunt called pantera bread
It will be similar to panera bread, but the food we serve will be much heavier
What's the similarities between Las Vegas and Manchester?
You can pay for the prostitutes using chips
A farmer was having trouble telling his horses apart.
"I have two horses that I can't tell apart," he tells his friend. "Is there any way you can help me?"
"Shave the mane off one horse," his friend said. "Then you'll know the difference between them."
The farmer did as he was told, but after some time the mane grew back and he couldn't tell the difference anymore.
"This time, give one of them a small cut on its leg," said his friend. "Then you can tell it apart from the other."
The farmer did this again, but the other horse ran into a thorn bush and got a similar cut on its leg.
"Measure their height," said his friend. "One of them must definitely be a bit taller than the other."
The farmer tried it out, and it worked. Ecstatic, he ran back to his friend's house.
"It worked!" he yelled. "The black one is two inches taller than the white one!"
My cat and my paraplegic stepdad are so similar.
Neither like being tossed in the neighbor's pool.
How do you make your wife scream after s**...?
Wipe your d**... on the curtain.
How is Kim Kardashian similar to dough?
Both are very kneady.
Also yeast, lots of yeast.
You might think a man's anatomy is quite similar to a woman's....
But there's a vas deferens.
What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?
They both take away the coffin.
How are a frying pan and a beautiful woman similar?
You have to get them both hot before you put the meat in.
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Computers and taxis are surprisingly similar.
They both c**... when the drivers stop working.
People are loving this whole 'birdie sanders' thing but...
i don't recall a similar reaction when bill clinton got a bird to come
How are two gay guys who are perfect for each other similar to an Ancient Chinese Emperor?
They both had a mandate from heaven.
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Why are the twin towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
On second thoughts, Jared Fogle and Subway are pretty similar.
I mean, both stick 38 year old meat into 10 year old buns.
Girlfriends are similar to Chrome
They use too much of your resources
What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?
An increase in battery cases.
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What's the similarity between iPhone 7 and my girlfriend?
They both let me stick it in only one place.
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What's the similarity between Nike and the k**...?
They both make black men run faster.
Why are Jews and the Amish so similar?
Neither like cooking with gas.
superheros and religion are alot more similar than you think
Just a bunch people arguing whose fictional character is the best.
How are a grenade and a girlfriend similar?
If they're good ones, they'll both blow really well.
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What's the similarity between women and KFC
Once you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you're left with a greasy box to pop your bone in.
A statistician, a mathematician, and a biologist are standing outside a house.
They watch two people walk in. A couple hours later, they watch three people walk out.
The statistician considers the problem for a moment, then thinks to himself: "Oh, we must have miscounted."
The biologist, naturally, goes through a similar moment of introspection before deciding, "Ah, they must have reproduced!"
Meanwhile, the mathematician arrived at the solution almost immediately: "If one person goes back into the house, it will be completely empty!"
How are cancer and pregnancy similar?
They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy.
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How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand?
Either way, you're likely to blow a t**...
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What's the similarity between a dead h**... and a cat?
They both have nein lives.
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BLONDES & COMPUTERS
Q: How are blondes and computers similar?
A: You never appreciate them until they go down on you.
Necrophiles and hippies are very similar
Both want peace and love.
How are Computers and Air Conditioners similar?
They both stop working when you open windows.
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Isn't it funny how anti-vaxxer's children....
Always seem to get what their parents deserve?
I believe I made this up but I'm posting here to see if anyone else has heard anything similar.
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How is a vampire similar to an abortion clinic?
They both s**... the life out of you
What's the similarity between Kodak and condoms?
They are both there to catch those special moments.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's the similarity between s**... and broccoli?
Even with butter, children will still not like them
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Why is bungee jumping, and a p**... similar?
You pay money for some quick fun and if he rubber breaks, you're dead!
The similarities between alcohol and girls...
... Both have the quality of giving pleasure at night and headache in the morning.
What is similar between Jon Snow and The Night King?
They have both speared a dragon.
They say the male and female reproductive system is very similar
But I think there's a vas deferens
CS:GO and Roulette are quite similar
They are both fun until you add Russian
What do you get when two different pairs of similar angles get in a car accident?
a wrecked angle
(This took me one 20 minute shower to think out)
A teacher enters a class room for the first time.
he notices that two of the guys sitting together looks similar to each other.The teacher curiously asks them
Teacher :Are you guys twins?
Guys:No sir, we are neighbors.
A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.
Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"
How's a doctor's office similar to a US school?
Kids can get their shots there, if someone is ill.
Why does the blonde have smudges on the inside of her windshield?
She needs to drag her finger across the words as she's reading street signs.
Note: I just made this up. However, please tell me if someone else has a similar one.
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Two men on a train both have black eyes.
Man 1: "how did you get that black eye?"
Man 2: "I was buying my ticket from this beautiful b**... girl and instead of saying 'a ticket to Pittsburgh' I accidentally said I wanted 'a picket to Tittsburgh' so she hit me. How about you?"
Man 1: "Yeah, something similar happened to me. I was sitting around having breakfast with my wife and I meant to say 'pass the wheaties' and I accidentally said 'you ruined my life you s**... b**...'."
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What is the similarity between a fat American and rich British person
Both of them have a lot of pounds
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Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?
He was one of the heroes who fought in the t**... War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held him by the groin, this was where he became vulnerable. In the case of Achilles, this was his heel. So you may have heard of Achilles' heel, or the Achilles' tendon, but I bet you have never heard of Bophades nuts.
Did you hear about the soldier who got fired?
His superiors had a hard time finding a man of similar caliber.
How is a congressman and a dog similar?
When you ask them to speak they will, but it doesn't mean anything.
Milk, cheese and yogurt may be different products
But their origins are udderly similar.
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What's the similarity between h**... and an asthma patient?
Neither of them can finish a race.
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What is similar about coronavirus and s**...?
Most Redditors lack the social skills to get either
