Signs Jokes

Funniest Signs Short Jokes

Short signs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The signs humour may include short signing jokes also.

1. My ex-wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend! Honestly, I should have seen the signs.
2. The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn't share the flatbread recipe Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
3. I signed up for Binary 101, but failed it miserably. I had no idea it was a Level 5 course.
4. My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs
5. My dad was fired from his job in road work for theft... I didn't believe it at first. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
6. I met Matthew McConaughey and asked him to sign a photo for me. I told him to make sure he doesn't write anything in the left side of the picture though. He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
7. I refused to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker But when I got home, all the signs were there.
8. I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, ​
   but when I got home, the signs were all there.
9. Whats the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"
   A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."
10. I lost my job at the zoo recently. There was a sign that said do not feed the animals. So I didn't.

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Signs One Liners

Which signs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with signs? I can suggest the ones about symptoms and road sign.

1. I know several jokes in sign language I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
2. Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time? Because the sign says no trespassing.
3. Caitlin Jenner just signed a deal with Marvel. She is going to be in the new Ex-Men film.
4. Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? Because the sign says No Tres passing
5. My deaf girlfriend just told me, We need to talk. That is not a good sign.
6. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
7. I signed up for a gym membership this year. So far I've managed to lose £200.
8. What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
9. Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
10. How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off
11. I saw a sign that said "Falling rocks" I tried. It doesn't.
12. What does the sign of an out of business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed.
13. Today I learned that "wet Floor" signs… …are not a request…
14. what sign do you put up when you shut down your brothel? Beat it, we're closed
15. I signed up for binary 101 but it turns out it's a level 5 course

Signs Of Our Times Jokes

Here is a list of funny signs of our times jokes and even better signs of our times puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, "Help, need ride!"
• Every time I see a street sign that says "Watch for Children" I can't help but wonder if that's a fair trade.
• The sign said Employees must wash hands But I waited a long time and no employees showed up so eventually I washed my own hands.
• In honor of Cinco De Mayo - Why do Mexicans cross the border two at a time? Because the signs say "No Trespassing".
• Tom Hanks is so nice… …every time he signs an autograph he writes T.HANKS
• Someone asked me to sign their cast. So I wrote, "Last warning. You have a week to get the rest of the money together. Next time we won't be so nice."
• I stopped at a roadside stand where a sign read "LOBSTER TAILS $5." I paid my $5 and the guy said....
  "Once upon a time, there was this lobster....."
• The other day I saw a huge sign advertising a bunch of clocks. I guess it's just a sign of the times.
• My doctor called three times... ...just to tell me my astrology sign! And he wasn't even right! And they call themselves professionals .
• There's no better time to add insult to injury... ...Than when you're signing a cast :)

Bad Signs Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad signs jokes and even better bad signs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I've been a bad girl, she said, I need to be punished. So I signed her up for a Comcast account.
• I got called into my boss's office for a bad billboard I created It wasn't a good sign
• If the letters fall off your company's logo... ...maybe it's a bad sign.
• So two Irish men were walking down the street... ... and they saw a sign saying tree fellers wanted. One of the men said to the other, "too bad we're a man short"
• The bad news is, one of the earliest signs of cognitive impairment is the inability to finish sentences. The good news Is
• Good news! I finally signed up for a 401K! Bad news: I work for a marathon organization
• Bad pun #3 I didn't want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop but when I got home all the signs were there.
• I know alot of jokes in sign language. To bad no one has ever heard them.
• You know this country is in bad shape When the Statue of Liberty has to work part time as a sign spinner.
• I used to think it was no big deal that my gums bled whenever I flossed, but I talked to my dentist about it and she said that it can actually be a bad sign. So now I never floss.

Signs Of The Zodiac Jokes

Here is a list of funny signs of the zodiac jokes and even better signs of the zodiac puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you know that every zodiac sign has different hair? Well, besides cancer.
• My uncle's zodiac sign was Cancer, which was ironic, because he died from being crushed by a giant crab.
• I believe every Zodiac sign has its own signature hairstyle. Except Cancer.
• What is your zodiac sign? Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
  Patient: Cancer.
  Doctor: What a coincidence...
• I had a friend whose zodiac sign was cancer. The way he died was very ironic... He got was eaten by a giant crab.
• The zodiac sign of a friend of mine was cancer, which was very ironic because of how he died. He was eaten by a large crab.
• Every zodiac sign comes with a signature hairstyle... Except cancer
• Every Zodiac sign has a signature hairstyle For instance, people with cancer are bald
• Every Zodiac sign has a haircut . . . Except Cancer (in honor of my dad who lost his hair to chemo!)
• Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic... Except Leo

Warning Signs Jokes

Here is a list of funny warning signs jokes and even better warning signs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• "Sir, I'm gonna' let you off with a warning..." "THANK YOU SO MUCH OFFIC----"
  "April Fools....sign here."
• warning sign on children's alphabet blocks Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
• I like my women like I like my trucks With warning signs.
• Warning, Do not join any of the new super market dating services, I signed up. And ended up with a bag for life.
• Girls follow the tide warning signs when I ask them out "When in doubt, don't go out"
• Whenever I see a sign saying Fine Jewelry I think to myself, it's probably had enough warnings, why not just arrest it.
• So they have warning signs for drivers to look out for pedestrians on their cell phone now. Put up warning signs for pedestrians that the driver might be looking at their cellphone. Problem solved
• The police almost arrested a man for w**... to a caution sign. But he got off with a warning.
• A man is busted by his boss while having s**... with a "Wet Floor" sign... He got off with a warning.

Zodiac Signs Jokes

Here is a list of funny zodiac signs jokes and even better zodiac signs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died. She got eaten by a giant crab.
• A kid goes to a doctor. The doctor asks:
  "So what's your zodiac sign?"
  The kid responds:
  "Cancer."
  The doctor:
  "Oh,what a coincidence!"
• My barber is big into astrology, and told me that every zodiac sign corresponds to a certain hairstyle, except for one Cancer.
• I'm cancer free! Now I'm dating a girl with different zodiac sign.
• Doctor: "what's your zodiac sign?" Patient: "I'm a cancer, why?"
  Doctor: "oh, what a coincidence!"
• You wanna hear about something ironic? My grandma's zodiac sign was Cancer. She was killed... by a giant crab.
• What zodiac sign doesn't have hair Cancer
• Today my dad beat cancer. By the way what is your mom's zodiac sign?
• What do the zodiac signs use to pay for coffee? Starbucks
• I don't believe in zodiac signs... But that's only because I am a Taurus.

Cheeky Signs Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about signs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean traffic sign jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make signs pranks.