Significant Jokes
92 significant jokes and hilarious significant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about significant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the idea of significant jokes - jokes that go beyond the norms of simple comedic quips and instead have a larger and more prominent effect on the audience. Read on to discover how significant jokes can be viewed as far more than just funny, but as a tool to make a point or inspire thought.
Quick Jump To
- Short Significant Jokes
- Significant One Liners
- Significant Other Jokes
- Significant Figures Jokes
- Statistically Significant Jokes
- More Significant Jokes
Funniest Significant Short Jokes
Short significant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The significant humour may include short huge jokes also.
- The misuse of users' Facebook data has caused mark zuckerberg significant emotional distress. He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.
- Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have? I planted myself on my couch at the beginning of March and I've grown significantly since.
- Always make sure SOMEONE in the relationship has good credit... That's why it's called SIGNIFICANT other. Sign/if/I/Can't.
- I heard the latest statistic that 1 in 3 people cheat on their significant others that means either my wife or my girlfriend is cheating on me.
Hmm.... - What's the difference between an Iraqi school and an Iraqi Army base? One poses a significant potential threat to ISIS and its continued existence.
The other is an Iraqi Army base. - Has anyone's gardening skills improved during the quarantine? I planted myself on the couch in august and have grown significantly since.
- If you think 30 seconds isn't a significant period of time.. ... try hesitating for 30 seconds when your wife asks you if she looks fat in that dress.
- I asked a Flat Earther to tell me what the volume of the Earth was but he couldn't give me a good answer. There was a significant rounding error.
- A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. "First offender," the judge asked. "No" she replied "First a Gibson, then a Fender."
- My band and I had our first significant gig tonight, but afterwards I realized that it would have been way cooler with a fog machine... It was a huge mist opportunity.
Share These Significant Jokes With Friends
Significant One Liners
Which significant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with significant? I can suggest the ones about important and minor.
- What does a male otter call his wife? My significant otter
- What does a cow call his girlfriend? His significant udder.
- What do you call your significant other's knives? Bae blades.
- What do you call a cow's mate? Its significant *udder*.
- My ex still misses me... But her aim has improved significantly
- My Friend Told Me Twelve is a Significant Number. I disagreed. I said it dozen't matter.
- What does a seagull call their significant other? Bagel
- What is another name for a significant other you meet online? e-Bae
- What did the colour-changing lizard say to his significant other? You're one in chameleon
- Did you hear about the trio who invented rounding? Three significant figures
- If you make fun of your significant other's love of hunger games are you.... Mockin'Bae
- what do cows call their husbands? significant udders
- What do you call an Arts graduate with no significant other? Homeless
- What do you call a four-legged significant other? Dear
- What does a bull call his wife? His significant udder.
Significant Other Jokes
Here is a list of funny significant other jokes and even better significant other puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a Mexican melon? A cantelopez!
Came up with this on all by myself. I'm a new Dad, so I feel as if I've significantly leveled up my Dad Joke ability. - If all humans held hands around the equator of Earth A significant amount of then would probably drown.
- Breaking up with your significant other is like bowling You carry something heavy going into it, and if it goes as planned, you walk away with an X.
- What's the difference between a complimentary cocktail and a significant brain surgery? One is a free bottle in front of me, and the other is a pre-frontal lobotomy
- Why does everyone care about the eclipse? Probably because it's significance is astronomical.
- I assured to my significant other that size doesn't matter... when she asked "does this dress make me look fat?" and now she's furious, help--
- A building inspector for an old European town found that all buildings built between 1584 and 1750 had significant structural flaws. Otherwise, if it ain't Baroque, don't fix it.
- Embrace you mistakes My significant other and I were discussing mistakes we have made in our relationship.
I suggested she should embrace her mistakes.
She then hugged me. - Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry
Courtesy of my significant other - Ayy girl, are you a gas station? Because your prices went up significantly within the last few months
Significant Figures Jokes
Here is a list of funny significant figures jokes and even better significant figures puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.
- Measuring temperatures to three significant figures is overrated 1 significant figure is 0K
- Hey gurl, are you an inaccurate answer? Because that is one-significant-figure
- What do you call a fat chemistry professor? A significant figure.
Statistically Significant Jokes
Here is a list of funny statistically significant jokes and even better statistically significant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I experimented with drugs... ...and I had a statistically significantly significant number of trials when I did.
- What do you call a statistically significant amount of u**... enough to give you the urge to void? the p-value
Significant Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about significant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean large jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make significant pranks.
SAN FRANCISCO MAN BECOMES FIRST AMERICAN TO GRASP SIGNIFICANCE OF SARCASM
Chuck Fullmer, 38, yesterday became the first American to get to grips
with the concept of sarcasm.
"It was weird" Fullmer said. "I was in London and like, talking to this guy
and it was raining and he pulled a face and said, "Great weather eh?"
and I thought - "Wait a minute, no way is it great weather".
Fullmer then realised that the other man's 'mistake' was in fact deliberate.
Fullmer, who is 39 next month and married with two children, aged 8 and 3,
plans to use sarcasm himself in future.
"I'm, like, using it all the time" he said.
"Last weekend I was grilling steaks and I burned them and I said
"Hey, great weather."
Do blind people care if their significant others are hot? (OC?)
Do blind people care if their significant others are hot?
Of course they do! They're blind, not necrophiliacs!
(Probably been done before, but I thought of it while on the toilet.)
In a sports relay race, a chemical kinetics specialist runs slowly, and his group loses the race.
When the chemical kinetics specialist is asked why he ran slowly, his reply was Well, I always wanted to be the significant rate determining step .
A lady goes to a tattoo parlor and gets a tattoo of a turkey on her left thigh.
A week later she gets a tattoo of Santa Claus on her right thigh. The artist asked what's the significance. she replies turkey is for Thanksgiving, Santa is for Christmas. My husband complains there is nothing to eat in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, now he can't complain
Traffic accidents
A Frenchman and an Englishman are talking at a bar:
Frenchman: "Did you hear, in France they lowered the the amount of alcohol you can drink before driving. But now car accidents have significantly increased"
Englishman: " Wow, how can that be?"
Frenchman: " Well its because if a man drinks wine with a meal at a restaurant, his wife has to drive him home"
This food has been proven to drastically reduce or even eliminate s**... drive in a significant percentage of women.
It's wedding cake.
People say I'm well educated
I never went to actual school, but I significantly deepened my knowledge in the well.
How you treat the wait staff on a first date
Someone once told me that the way someone treats the wait staff on a first date is how they'll treat their significant other in six months.
So now when I'm on a first date, I have s**... with the waitress.
October is domestic a**... awareness month...
Time to make your significant other aware....
Funniness and cleverness have always been two notable factors for rating puns...
...but the third has groan in significance.
Whats a great way to get closer with your significant other?
Mix epoxy resin with them. It'll be a bonding experience.
Did you know that within the UK, gender equality becomes significantly more progressed the further north you go...
If you go far north enough, it's common place for the men wear skirts and the women have deep voices.
What does a girl with a fruit and daddy k**... call her significant other?
Papaya
Why do German cats have significantly lower life expectancy?
Because they have nein lives.
I wasn't afraid of heights until my significant other told me about her bungee jumping accident
I got the fright of my wife.
My friends always ask me what I got my significant other for Valentine's Day...
Each year I tell them I got myself a nice new pair of gloves.
It's significantly harder for athletes to perform in todays temperatures
I've read in the newspaper that the Government has forbidden fans at sport events
My Native American friend from work invites me home to meet his wife.
When we arrived at his house his wife appeared in full traditional dress, she looked stunning. My friend introduced me and said * I'd like you to meet my wife, five horses. * I commented what a beautiful name that was and asked what the significance was?
* Quite simple * really he replied, * Nag nag nag nag nag... *
My significant other purchased a map and handed me a dart and said Throw this, and wherever it lands we're taking a trip there after the pandemic ends.
Turns out we're spending 2 weeks behind the fridge.
What's one thing a s**... cannot say to their significant other?
"I missed you this morning!"
Two farmers
Two farmers were chatting,
One says, You reckon the profit on your crops this year will be significant?
All depends, said the other.
On what
My pea value
I'm starting a service helping people break up with their significant others over dinner
I'm calling it FedEx
Man approaches significant other and asks, "Hey babe, what are we mad about today?"
Significant other replies, "Can you not call me babe please?" Man asks, "What should I call you?" Significant other replies, "I don't know, my name?" Man asks, "Why don't you know your name?"
A daughter asked her father
"Dad, what kind of man should I marry?"
Her father replied, "His wits come secondary. He must be a man who has a beard".
The daughter, bewildered, asked "What is the significance of the beard?"
The father, staring blankly, said "Well any man with the patience to grow a beard has the patience to deal with your b**...".
Designing bear-proof garbage cans is very hard…
There will always be a significant overlap between the smartest bears, and the dumbest people.
Queen Elizabeth arrives to Heaven ...
St Peter lets her in and gives her a tour around the heavenly garden.
-Here are all your family members, previous pets and people of historical significance during your reign.
Liz looks around this multitude of people who wave at her, smiling. Suddenly she stops and calls St.Peter aside.
-What the F***?, Diana has a bigger halo than me!! I reigned for decades, saw my country trough wars and depressions and wars again, gave god, freedom and peace to nations all around the world, surely I deserve a bigger halo than her!!
-Your Majesty, that is a steering wheel...
During a church's 100th anniversary celebration, the local priest invited former priests and the bishop to attend.
At one point, he called the children to gather at the altar and spoke to them about the significance of the day.
He began by asking them, 'Does anyone know what the bishop does?'
There was silence. Finally a little boy responded in a serious tone, "He's the one you can move diagonally."
