Signed Declaration Jokes
9 signed declaration jokes and hilarious signed declaration puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about signed declaration that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Humorous Signed Declaration Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What is a good signed declaration joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
"Boy, I'm scared," a man said to one of his friends,
"I got a
letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop
seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll
have to stop seeing his wife." "Easy for you to say," the first
guy said. "You like her that much?" the friend asked. "It's not
that," declared the man, "He didn't sign his name."
The difference perspective has on optimism and pessimism
After downing half of his glass of milk, my ten year old son declared, "*I am an optimist: 'The glass is half empty!'*..."
"*Looking at the glass as half empty is a sign of pessimism son,*" I said.
He smiled and corrected me: "*Not if you don't like what's in it!*"
Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
At the bottom of the page
(Groan inducing): Why was it necessary to have official witnesses at the signing of the Declaration of Independence?
Because it's not a republic without a notary public.
My wife threatened to put to sign on the ceiling over our bed declaring me an idiot...
...that way everyone in the town will know it.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
A popular joke within the Jewish community: Four Rabbis are arguing late at night over a passage of the Talmud
Three of the four rabbis argue that the text proves humanity is inherently evil. The fourth rabbi argues that human consciousness means we can choose all of our actions without moral disposition.
After three more hours of arguing, the fourth rabbi shouts, ADONAI, IF I AM CORRECT, GIVE ME A SIGN!
All of the sudden, lighting cracks directly next to the synagogue, splitting a tree perfectly in half without singeing a single leaf or blade of grass below.
The first three rabbis pause, before one of them declares,
* That's still two against three! *
Brain Dead
A man got into a car accident and was rushed to hospital. At the hospital, the man's doctor declares him to be brain-dead. Soon, the man's wife shows up at the hospital. The doctor gives the wife the bad news.
"What now?! What are my options?" Sobs the wife.
The doctor replies, "Well, unfortunately, you have two options. You can ship him off to a long-term care centre and hope for the best. Or, alternatively, you can sign this form to unplug him and donate his organs. In my opinion, I believe that o**... donation is the no-brainer option."
A tale of two r**...
Two r**... live on either side of a river. One named Billy, the other named Clarence. Well, every day the both go to the bank on their side of the river and yell insults at each other. One day, a construction company moves in a builds a bridge accross the river. Billy wakes up one morning and sees the newly finished bridge and declares to his wife "I'm gonna go beat up that Clarence feller once and fer all!" He sets out for the bridge, but, just as he's about to cross, he sees a sign and reads to himself "Clarence: 8 ft." Needless to say he decided beating Clarence up wasn't such a good idea.
Not my own joke. Heard in on a bus trip.
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