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Signals Jokes

90 signals jokes and hilarious signals puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about signals that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for some hilarious jokes about mixed signals and smoke signals? This article provides a collection of jokes carefully thought of and pulls out the funniest specimens. Enjoy a few laughs and have fun!

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Funniest Signals Short Jokes

Short signals jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The signals humour may include short signature jokes also.

  1. If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember there is someone who is currently installing the turn signal at BMW.
  2. If you ever feel like your job has no purpose, always remember right now, there is someone who is installing a turn signal in a BMW
  3. If I was a cop I would be ticketing people for not using their turn signals.. Left and right
  4. If you ever feel useless in life Remember it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMW's
  5. [God-awful OC] What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them? The lanlord!
  6. There are hundreds of features on a brand-new BMW; heated seats, bluetooth audio, laser-headlights, etc... Which among them goes completely ignored? The turn signals.
  7. I've seen aliens. I've seen Bigfoot. I've even fed a few fish to the Lochness Monster. But I still have never seen a bmw driver use his turn signals.
  8. What do you do if you see a BMW using a turn signal? Call the police, it's obviously stolen.
  9. You think YOU have a meaningless job? Think about the guy who makes turn signals at the BMW factory.
  10. If you ever feel like your job is pointless... Just remember that someone out there is in charge of installing turn signals on a BMW.

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Signals One Liners

Which signals one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with signals? I can suggest the ones about signs and flags.

  1. The Lord moves in mysterious ways. But you don't. Use your turn signal.
  2. 2 blondes are checking a car "Does the turn signal work?"
    "Yes! No. Yes! No. Yes!"
  3. What never needs maintenance on a BMW? The turn signal lightbulb
  4. I'm great at signalling for help on a sinking ship.. Just got a flare for it.
  5. I know women like to be mysterious... But turning signals are for safty purposes..
  6. You can't get good signal reception at a cemetery It's a dead spot.
  7. Whats the worlds most useless job? installing BMW turn signals.
  8. What is it called when you are on the edge of WiFi signal range? Router Limits!
  9. I once took a test on waving signal flags. They told me I passed with flying colors.
  10. Why can't BMW drivers be woke leftists? They virtually never signal.
  11. A girl I liked was giving me mixed signals So I calculated Fourier transform.
  12. If you ever feel useless Remember the guys who work at BMW to install the turn signals
  13. I can communicate via smoke signals but I can only say one thing. "We are having a fire"
  14. I saw a BMW driver using their turning signal! But then I woke up from my dream.
  15. Why couldn't Chinese hackers decrypt the trans man's signal? It was non-binary

Smoke Signals Jokes

Here is a list of funny smoke signals jokes and even better smoke signals puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was using smoke signals and was surprised by who responded Fireman
  • How do the jews comunicate? With smoke signals
  • I saw a video of a man burning a Washington r**... Jersey. You can tell it was authentic because of the smoke signals.

Mixed Signals Jokes

Here is a list of funny mixed signals jokes and even better mixed signals puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm getting mixed signals from my doctor. First, he told me that I need to stop drinking so much, but he also told me I should get more shots.
  • I met a girl named Clarity She gave me mixed signals
  • What did Batman get for Valentine's day? Mixed signals.
  • What do you call a Hispanic radio station? Mixed Signals
  • Today a woman was giving me mixed signals.. She was a traffic guard
Signals joke, Today a woman was giving me mixed signals..

Signals joke, Today a woman was giving me mixed signals..

Comical Signals Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about signals you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean communication jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make signals pranks.

A man is taking his son to buy his first car...

The son spots an old, used cop car at one of the lots. "Dad! I want that! It would be so cool! Can I test drive the cop car?" The father replies: "No, son. I want your car to have working turn signals and an accurate speedometer."

Three Engineers

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.
The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"
The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"
The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."

A guy walks into a bar on the boardwalk..

and sees a t**... bartender. He tries to get the bartenders attention by signaling for a beer but the bartender won't look his way.
Annoyed, the guy walks in the bartenders line of vision and signals again. Even though he made eye contact the bartender ignores him.
Now, furious, the guy demanded an explanation from the bartender.
The bartender simply points at the sign with his bare feet which reads
"no shirt, no shoes, no service"

A masked dude walks into a building

... and asks the woman at the counter to open a cabin at gunpoint. The lady asks "You do know that this is a _sperm_ bank, right?". He signals to open the cabin with the gun. She obeys. "Drink it", he says. She gives him a puzzled look and drinks from the bottle helplessly. The man unmasks himself and the lady is surprised to see that its her husband. He says "See, its not that hard, is it?"

Three Engineers are Sitting at a Bar...

...and discussing what kind of engineer constructed the human body. The first exclaimed that it must be a Mechanical Engineer because of all the joints and moving parts. The second said it had to have been an Electrical Engineer because of all the nerve endings and electrical signals. The third disagreed with both and declared that it had to have been a Nuclear Engineer, because who else would construct a toxic tube so close to a recreational area?

Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals.

Why are turn signals great workers?

When they get tired and burn out, they work twice as hard.

I would never buy a BMW, they're too cheaply made.

I mean, they don't even come with turn signals.

Imagine if trees gave off Wi-Fi signals, we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too.

Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath.

So I was at a conference for experimental philosophy...

and it was getting a bit dull so I turned to the guy next to me and asked
"So, what do you do?"
He lit up, eager to tell all.
"Well, I'm studying the effects of introducing rodents to Nihilistic thinking through an intricate series of signals and experiments. Nice to meet cha!"
Ah, I replied.....
Mice to Nietszche.

For Sale: 5yr old BMW

Turn signals like new!

A mime is performing an act in Paris

An Englishman, Frenchman, Spanish man, and German man are watching the mime perform. The mime notices that they cannot see him very well. He places a box down and signals to the audience if they can see him.

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Sí"

"Ja"

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar

He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender
"I'll have a pint please"
The bartender looks him up and down and laughs
"You're way too young!"
"How you know my name!"

Did you know BMW's don't have turn signals?

That's how they make them so affordable.

If you think that your job is useless and does not make any difference in the world,

consider that there are people out there making turn signals for BMW.

If you ever feel useless...

Remember there is a someone in the BMW factory installing turn signals.

Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that never use

Like turn signals with a baseball bat.

I watched a terrible documentary on traffic signals.

Who green-lights these things?

What is the most useless job in the world?

The line workers responsible for making BMW turn signals

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.
"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.
The driver leans over to the other priest and they whisper between themselves.
Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

If you ever feel like your job is meaningless or without purpose, just remember...

That someone out there is installing turn signals on a BMW.

Another blonde joke

Boyfriend is driving down the street with his (blonde) girlfriend in the passenger seat. The boyfriend becomes concerned the turn signals are not working, so he asks his girlfriend to poke her head out the passenger side window to see if the right turn signal is functioning. She replies, "it's working, it's not working, it's working.."

If humans couldn't see yellow color what color would the traffic signals be

The Same.
Red, Green and Faster Green

A lawyer was travelling in an almost empty train.

A lady approaches him and says "Put everything you have in this bag or I'll shout that you are molesting me." The lawyer signals that he is deaf and mute and asks her to write what she just said on a paper. She does so. He smiles and keeps the paper in his bag and says "Now do whatever you want!"

Did you know today is opposite day?

All the BMW's on the road used their turn signals.

I just failed driving exam

The instructor said I failed at signals. I don't get it. I keep giving middle finger to the drivers honking at me.

Why did h**... fail his drivers ed?

He used his turn signals on the two left turns but failed at the 3rd r**...

My driving instructor said that it was important to understand how to use universally understood hand signals.

Funny, his whole tune changed when I started flipping people off.

Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship.

He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."
The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west."
Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!"
"I'm a s**..., second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir."
Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

If you ever feel like your life is without purpose

Just know there's a guy at the BMW factory who installs turn signals

My buddy got fired from the road department

He was accused of stealing traffic signals.
When the cops went to his house, all the signs were there.

If you ever feel useless, just remember

someone's job is installing turn signals on new BMWs

Just because a woman turn signals left

It doesn't necessarily mean she wants to go right, she could also go straight ahead just as well.

What do condoms and turn signals have in common?

If people used them, there would be less accidents

BMW drivers always use their signals

The light they give off just can't be seen by the poor.

A climber made it to top of Mt Everest. Most were impressed, not astronomers.

They said climb Olympus Mons and send back radio signals. That signal will make us go WOW.

Audi's are more expensive than they have to be.

The German luxury car maker could sell much cheaper cars if they stopped shipping them with all those extra accessories that the owners never use anyways, like rear view mirrors, turn signals, side-view mirrors...

John gets bitten by a wasp.

And that too on his pee pee.
He and his wife go to the doctor immediately. Doctor takes one look at it and asks the nurse to give him some medication to help him.
The wife quietly signals the doctor to come outside the room and says - can you please only give something for the pain, and leave the swelling alone?

If you ever feel worthless in your life,

Remember that it is someone's job to install turn signals on BMWs.

Before leaving for a battle, King Arthur puts a strong iron chastity belt on his wife Guinevere and entrusts the key to his most loyal knight, Eddie. Then King Arthur departs.

Five minutes into his journey, King Arthur hears Eddie screaming for him to stop. King Arthur signals his steed to halt and waits for Eddie to catch up.
"Eddie!" the king says, "What's the matter?"
"Your highness," says Eddie. "You gave me the wrong key."

Ted is well into his third beer in the bar when Bill comes in.

"Hey Ted, how ya doin'?" asks Bill.
Ted turns his eyes to Bill and signals for another beer. "So so. My wife just ran off last night with my best friend."
"But Ted!" protests Bill. "*I'm* your best friend!"
"...Not any more," says Ted.

If you ever feel like your life has no meaning

Just remember that there is a guy in the BMW factory installing turn signals.

A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.

He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.
The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.
The light signals back, I'm a s**... First Class. You must change your course, sir.
Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.
The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.

I have a hard time reading woman's signals.

I once tried going to the red light district, but I didn't stop.

If you ever think your job is pointless...

... think about the guy mounting turn signals on BMWs

When future autonomous cars are connected on a network and speak to eachother, they won't need turn signals anymore.

... So BMW owners will have to figure out some other safety system to just not use.

Modern cars are always bloated with unnecessary add ons

I mean, who needs turn signals on a BMW.

What do you call it when a tap dancing mare signals for help?

Horse code

Signals joke, If you ever feel useless in life

jokes about signals