Sign Jokes

Funniest Sign Short Jokes

Short sign jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sign humour may include short letter jokes also.

1. My ex-wife cheated on me with her deaf best friend! Honestly, I should have seen the signs.
2. The Indian restaurant I work for is so secretive I had to sign a legal agreement that I wouldn't share the flatbread recipe Just their standard naan disclosure agreement.
3. I signed up for Binary 101, but failed it miserably. I had no idea it was a Level 5 course.
4. My dad was fired from his job in road work for theft... I didn't believe it at first. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
5. I met Matthew McConaughey and asked him to sign a photo for me. I told him to make sure he doesn't write anything in the left side of the picture though. He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
6. Whats the difference between a amateur thief and a professional thief? An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"
   A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."
7. I lost my job at the zoo recently. There was a sign that said do not feed the animals. So I didn't.
8. Dear God, If you want us to impeach Trump, just give us a sign. Like blot out the sun. Anytime in the next week.
   Thanks,
   America.
9. I saw a sign that said "watch for children". and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"
10. A lot of people call # a Hashtag but back in my day it was the pound sign which makes the movement #MeToo a bit awkward

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Sign One Liners

Which sign one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sign? I can suggest the ones about flag and symbol.

1. I know several jokes in sign language I guarantee nobody has ever heard them.
2. Caitlin Jenner just signed a deal with Marvel. She is going to be in the new Ex-Men film.
3. My deaf girlfriend just told me, We need to talk. That is not a good sign.
4. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
5. I signed up for a gym membership this year. So far I've managed to lose £200.
6. What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language.
7. Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
8. How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic? You take the pizza delivery sign off
9. I saw a sign that said "Falling rocks" I tried. It doesn't.
10. What does the sign of an out of business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed.
11. Today I learned that "wet Floor" signs… …are not a request…
12. Did you know that every zodiac sign has different hair? Well, besides cancer.
13. What are the unspoken rules of sign language? All of them
14. I feel very strongly about graffiti in toilet cubicles So I have signed a partition
15. I believe every Zodiac sign has its own signature hairstyle. Except Cancer.

Here Your Sign Jokes

Here is a list of funny here your sign jokes and even better here your sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm a screenwriter and I just signed an amazing 2-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures! I'm going to be getting the basic cable plus HBO.
• Got a parking ticket the other day for being parked illegally. Not sure why. The sign clearly said 'Fine for parking'.
• Two blondes are going to Disney Land At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"
  They went home crying.
• A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast.
• I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said "Watch for Children." I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex.
• My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in.
• A new gym opened near me. They are currently going door to door signing up new members. It's called Jehovah's Fitness.
• Some blondes are in a car on their way to Disneyland. When they see a sign at an intersection.
  "Disneyland left" ←
  so they went back home.
• What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign? "It's ok because there is only two of us."
• Two Irishmen are walking down the street looking for a job. One sees a sign that says, "Tree fellers wanted." He turns to his companion and says, "Aye, 'tis a pity dere's only the two of us!"

Stop Sign Jokes

Here is a list of funny stop sign jokes and even better stop sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What's the difference between a high and drunk driver? The drunk driver goes through the stop sign, while the high driver waits for it to turn green.
• Something told me to stop today It must've been a sign
• Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, he is quickly stopped by a guard, the guard points to a sign that says "No swimming without supervision."
• Yes Sir, Officer. I saw the stop sign. I just didn't see you.
• How did Helen Keller break her arm? You try reading a stop sign at 60 miles an hour.
• I'm tired of people asking what my sign is. Stop okay?
  ​
  I like octagons.
• News flash: Vandals destroy street signs They pulled out all the stops
• I saw a man at an intersection holding a sign saying Homeless VET, anything helps. So I stopped to ask him how he ended up on the street, he said I got caught sleeping with my patients.
• I failed the drivers test even though I stopped for the sign I gave it plenty of time to cross, it's not my fault I hit it.
• This Halloween, I stopped the pranksters before they covered my house with eggs again. We met up for negotiations and signed a trick or treaty.

Road Sign Jokes

Here is a list of funny road sign jokes and even better road sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, "Help, need ride!"
• Why didn't the number 3 cross the road? He saw a sign that said no trespassing.
• I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, I don't know how I never noticed that all the signs were there..
• Why did the blind driver have no hands? He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour
• Why did the rooster cross the road? He saw a sign that said "Chicken strips for a buck"!
• I was driving along the road and I saw a coffin on the curb with a sign that said "FREE" I thought to myself, "this is the last thing I need."
• Chemistry Hotel So I was driving down the road, getting pretty tired on my way home and saw a sign that said "Chemistry Hotel"
  the sign said:
  *"Cheap Day Rates, and Even Cheaper NO3-'s"*
• You know the signs that say "End road work"? Have you ever seen the protestors​ that put them up?
• I didn't want to believe that my uncle had been stealing from the roads and traffic department ... ... but when the police raided his apartment, all the signs were there.
• Saw a guy on the side of the road with a "will work for food" sign. So I threw him a coconut.

Sign Language Jokes

Here is a list of funny sign language jokes and even better sign language puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Sign language is pretty handy.
• I think my family is finally catching on to me telling jokes in sign language... They've been standing further away, so I can't hit them with the punch line anymore.
• Is it possible to stutter in sign language? Yes, it's called Parkinson's
• My sign language comedy show got cancelled today Apparently nobody there had heard of me
• I always get sad when I watch videos of gorillas using sign language to ask for food. It's a shame there are so many deaf gorillas.
• Why can't pirates use sign language? Because the hook makes everything sound like a question.
• I learned sign language It's very handy!
• I signed up for German language lessons recently. They replied, and I am kind of worried now. They said, We have ways of making you talk.
• How do billboards communicate? Sign language
• what do you call a deer with no eyes in sign language? Anything you like. It can't see you.

Zodiac Sign Jokes

Here is a list of funny zodiac sign jokes and even better zodiac sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What is your zodiac sign? Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
  Patient: Cancer.
  Doctor: What a coincidence...
• I had a friend whose zodiac sign was cancer. The way he died was very ironic... He got was eaten by a giant crab.
• The zodiac sign of a friend of mine was cancer, which was very ironic because of how he died. He was eaten by a large crab.
• Every Zodiac sign has a haircut . . . Except Cancer (in honor of my dad who lost his hair to chemo!)
• Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic... Except Leo
• My barber is big into astrology, and told me that every zodiac sign corresponds to a certain hairstyle, except for one Cancer.
• I'm cancer free! Now I'm dating a girl with different zodiac sign.
• What zodiac sign doesn't have hair Cancer
• Today my dad beat cancer. By the way what is your mom's zodiac sign?
• What do the zodiac signs use to pay for coffee? Starbucks

Hilarious Sign Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about sign you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean gesture jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sign pranks.