Sigmund Freud Jokes

43 sigmund freud jokes and hilarious sigmund freud puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sigmund freud that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Sigmund Freud Short Jokes

Short sigmund freud jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sigmund freud humour may include short freudian slip jokes also.

  1. How many Sigmund Freuds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to hold the ladder and one to screw your mothe… errr I mean the lightbulb.
  2. My grandpa believes he is best friends with Freud. But I keep telling him he is just a Sigmund of his imagination.
  3. Someone asked me if I would bet on Sigmund Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personalityl I replied I'm all Id
  4. A Jewish joke (as told by Sigmund Freud) One Jew says to another, Have you taken a bath?
    The other replies: "No. Is one missing?"
    From *Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious*
  5. Sigmund Freud in a slam battle: "Yo' mamma's so neglectful, you struggle to maintain relationships with women because they view you as overly attached and clingy."
  6. What does Sigmund Freud say comes between fear and s**...? fünf
    (it helps if you say it out loud, and understand German) :-)
  7. Sigmund Freud discovered the "Freudian Slip" which in my opinion, was pure p**......I mean genius.
  8. Sigmund Freud goes to In-n-Out After discussing with the CEO that their company's name unconsciously symbolized s**... i**..., they simply said back:
    "At least we're not Pinkberry."
  9. What were Sigmund Freuds roommates doing when they mocked him for his pent up s**... frustrations? S~~c~~hadin'freude
  10. Sigmund Freud was a m**... with a huge ego And id. And superego.

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Sigmund Freud One Liners

Which sigmund freud one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sigmund freud? I can suggest the ones about psychologist and freddy krueger.

  1. What do Sigmund Freud and Bill Cosby have in common? They both explored the unconscious.
  2. Today is Sigmund Freud's birthday Which reminds me, Mother's Day is this weekend.
  3. It's Sigmund Freud's birthday today... I wish him great happenis.
  4. How did Sigmund Freud die? He slipped
  5. Why doesn't Sigmund Freud swear? Because he kisses his mother with that mouth.
  6. What was Sigmund Freud's favorite food? Freud Rice
  7. How do you get Sigmund Freud to screw a lightbulb? Tell him the lightbulb is his mother.
  8. What did Sigmund Freud say when his patient wouldn't unhand his waffle? Leggo my ego!
  9. What's Sigmund Freud's favorite soap opera? The Jung and the Restless
  10. Sigmund knows he's done working when his brain's freud
  11. Why didn't Sigmund Freud buy name-brand weiners? They were too expenisve
  12. What did Sigmund Freud do for mother's day? His mom.
  13. Mrs Freud: Sigmund, are you listening to me? Or is it in one ear and out the mother?
  14. Why did Sigmund Freud cross the road? Your mom!
  15. What did Sigmund Freud say when he had an epiphany? u**...!

Happy Sigmund Freud Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about sigmund freud you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean student of psychology jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sigmund freud pranks.

Sigmund Freud is talking to his buddy ...

... and the conversation turns to s**..., as often happens. Freud says, "I'm thinking about taking out Carl's daughter."
"Carl's daughter?" says the buddy in disbelief. "Isn't she a little Jung?"

3 Psychoanalysts walk into a bar

Bartender says: we have every beer from around the world. What can I get you fellas?
Sigmund Freud says: I'll have an Austrian lager in a pint glass
Carl Jung says: I'll have a Swiss lager also in a pint glass
Bartender looks at the third guy and says: where you from buddy?
Third guy says proudly: oui oui, I am from France
Bartender: well, a french lager probably like your pals; bottle or a pint?
Jacques says: a lager oui, but do you have it in Lacan?

Sigmund Freud walks into a bar

Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, "What was that about?" The barman replies. "Pianist envy."

Sigmund Freud sits down for tea with his mother..

Sigmund Freud is sitting down for a cup of tea with his dear mother, who has her nose in a book. She gasps, and Freud asks why. And so she responds: "why, Siggy, according to these scientists, our universe is only one of many! We live in parallel with millions of other realities where everything that may or may not happen is happening simultaneously throughout the multiverse! Our reality is one string in a giant blanket of undulating spacetime!"
Freud nods, thinking a moment before responding.
"You mindfucking me, mom?"