Sideways Jokes
45 sideways jokes and hilarious sideways puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sideways that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Sideways Short Jokes
Short sideways jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sideways humour may include short backwards jokes also.
- Have you ever thought about the word racecar and how it's a palindrome? Put it backwards and it spells racecar, put it sideways and it kills Paul Walker.
- I don't think Flounder I caught today was very happy with me. He was looking at me kinda sideways.
- A crab walks into a bar... The Barman says "I can't serve you mate, you're already walking sideways".
- My very pregnant wife complained that bending over the sink to wash dishes was too hard on her back "Oooh babe," I sympathized, "why don't you just stand sideways?"
The stitches come out on Monday. - My wife told me that she couldn't turn her neck because it hurts so much, so I told her to look forward to a massage tonight... ...Since she can't look sideways anyways...
- Recently I've been watching videos of people running sideways in Call of Duty... They're really D-Pressing!
- Old Chinese Proverb Says "Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok"
- Nobody in the world knows what those tiny sideways triangles on a keyboard mean. Well, more or less.
- Ouch, that smarts Confucius say, man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- Race-car A racecar backwards is still a racecar.
A racecar sideways is how accidents happen.
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Sideways One Liners
Which sideways one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sideways? I can suggest the ones about upside down and sided.
- Racecar backwards is still racecar but racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died.
- Racecar backwards is still racecar But racecar sideways is how Dale Earnhardt died.
- racecar backwards is racecar Racecar sideways is probably Paul Walker
- racecar backwards is racecar Racecar sideways is what killed Paul Walker.
- Confucius say: Man who go through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- What's infinity minus one? A sideways seven.
- Why do gangsters hold their guns sideways? Because that's the way it came in the box.
- Why do gangsters hold their pistols sideways? Because that's how it comes in the box :D
- Man who walks through airport turnstiles sideways.... is going to Bangkok
- Hannah backwards is still Hannah... But hannah sideways is how she got pregnant.
- Confucius says Man entering airport door sideways bound to Bangkok
- If a tree falls in a forest and no one hesrs it, Do the squirrels sleep sideways?
- Spending New Year's Eve at home in front of TV is pathetic! So we sit sideways
- If a man enters an airport sideways, he is going to Bangkok.
- Your mouth is so big You can eat a banana sideways.
(Oldie but goodie)
Fun-Filled Sideways Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about sideways you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean diagonally jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sideways pranks.
I was reading my emails...
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
My buddy and I have been working at this company for several years
We thought everything was going great. Numbers were up, sales were soaring! But one day our boss announced that the entire company was being bought out by some company in Spain.
What?! I exclaimed to my friend. This is so out of the blue! Never in a million years could I have seen this coming.
My friend shook his head and looked at me sideways. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition, he sighed.
Two Australians were sitting around talking over a beer..
After a while the first Australian says to the second, If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
The second Australian crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes, thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, _*"Well, I don't know about related, but I reckon it'd make us even."
AN OLD f**...
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. While sitting in her new room, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. After a while, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning.
Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" She replies, "It's pretty nice -- except they won't let you f**...."
"What are you doing?" asked my wife as she walked in on me and our children sitting around the table.
"I'm just showing them these old photos from when I used to be a Boxer" I said, showing off.
"If you turn them sideways kids, it looks like your Dad's standing up"
The crab
A female crab saw a male crab walking straight, not sideways, like other c**... did.
'This guy is really really special', she thought, and asked him out. Soon they were married.
A few days later she saw him walking sideways just like the other c**..., and was disappointed and angry.
'You lied to me!' She said. 'I thought you were different and special!'
The crab said 'Oh honey, you know I can't drink that much every day!'
I'm so homophobic,
I e**... hotdogs sideways.
The recent testing of anti-slip technology by toilet manufacturers did not go as planned
s**... went sideways
Irate woman to bus driver as she enters. 'what bus is this' driver 'its number 15 just like it says on the front'. irate woman 'but on the front it says 15, on the side 15a, and on the back 155' . Bus driver
'well I'm not driving backwards or sideways am i?'
Why was everyone confused when a crab walked straight into the bar?
Because c**... only walk sideways.
Went to visit my ol dad at the nursing home.
We sat quietly on the porch as he never was much of a talker. A nurse diligently stood by his side keeping an eye on him, every so often he'd start to slide sideways and she'd give him a gentle push to prop him up. I asked how he was doing and he said the place was fine, they just won't let him f**....
