Sided Building Jokes
40 sided building jokes and hilarious sided building puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sided building that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Sided Building Short Jokes
Short sided building jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sided building humour may include short sided jokes also.
- I was walking past a prison the other day, and I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.
I thought to myself, now that's a little con descending. - If you factor in Trumps ancestry, his policies make perfect sense. The German side says "Build a wall!"
The Scottish side says "Well im not paying for it!" - If while building a wood project you find that many of your nails are pointed on the wrong end Don't throw them away. Save them for the opposite side of the project.
- A company is building a tower with diffrent floors The first floor will be a hexagon the 2nd pentagon, ah you dont need to hear it from me, each story has diffrent sides anyways
- Told my mother-in-law that she should leaving the building through the fire exit. Sadly there wasn't a single flame on the other side.
- I was driving by the prison the other day... And I saw a midget in a jumpsuit climbing down the side of the building. And I thought to myself, *now that's a little condescending...*
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Sided Building One Liners
Which sided building one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sided building? I can suggest the ones about high siding and building.
- Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.
- Why did the Egyptians build the pyramid? To get to the other side.
- What's the best side of the house to build a deck on? The outside
- Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A: A walnut. - Why did the console peasant cross the street? To render the building on the other side!
- Q: What is crazy and walks along the sides of buildings?
A: A walnut. - What do you call a building in the Italy earthquake? w**...-sided.
Comical Sided Building Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about sided building you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bridge building jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sided building pranks.
2 blondes are hammering nails into the side of a garage...
One of them has a problem. She holds each nail in place, but ends up tossing every other one on the ground. Finally she says "Hey, half of these nails are bad - the sharp end is pointing away from the wall!"
The other blonde replied "You idiot, those are for other side of the building!"
God vs Satan
In contrast to popular beliefs, Heaven and h**... dont lie above each other, but next to each other.
Because God didnt want people be tempted to cross sides, he came to an agreement with Satan: they would have a wall build and split the bill afterwards.
Ofcourse as you could imagin when the wall was build, Satan plays deaf and dumb when it comes to the bill.
After some time God is fed up with Satan's behaviour and confronts him. "If you dont pay your share, i'll sue you!"
Satan shrugs and laughs: "what are you going to do? I got all the lawyers here"
There's a woman who gets dropped off at my building for work every day by the husband.
And every day the husband will come out and go to the passenger side to open the car door for her.
Seeing so much love from the husband I decided to ask her whether this has always been the way.
She replied no, it only started two years ago.
I asked "What made him change?"
The woman replied "Change? the inside door handle stopped working two years ago. He didn't want to change it."
Little Johnny is walking out after church....
he stops and asks the preacher, "What are all these bricks in the side of the building with names engraved in them?"
The pastor replies, "Those bricks and names are all in remembrance of people who died in the service."
"Oh"' Johnny replies..... "was it the early or late service?"
Two guys from the mentally challenged ethnic group of your choice are building a house
One notices that the other is discarding half of the nails that he pulls out of his pouch.
"Why are you throwing those nails away?"
"The head is on the wrong end."
"Don't throw them away, you idiot! Those are for the other side of the house!"
A bunch of Russian labourers are building a fence
and one of them goes to the foreman and says "Foreman, I have a problem. I just opened this packet of nails and all the heads are on the wrong end."
"Idiot!" yells the foreman. "Those nails are for the other side of the fence!"
Two guys are attempting an escape from an insane asylum
Eventually they escape the main building but there are walls around the encampment so they get to a roof to get over the wall, they look at the gap between the roof and the wall and decide it's too dangerous. the first guy says,
Alright, we can't jump across so I'll just shine my flashlight over to the other side and you can walk across the light
The second guy looks at the first guy baffled by what he just said, he replies
What?? Do you think I'm s**... or something?… You'll just turn the flashlight off when I'm halfway!
Two blondes are building a house
As they're hammering away, one blonde notices that the other is discarding every other nail she picks up.
Blonde 1: What are you doing?!
Blonde 2: These nails are no good. The pointy part is on the wrong end.
Blonde 1: You d**...! Those are for the other side of the house!
Perfect Man, Perfect Woman, and Santa Claus are in a car.
The car goes out of control and crashes into the side of a building, only one survives, who is it?
The Perfect woman survived because the perfect man and Santa Claus aren't real.
Still, just goes to show that even the perfect woman can't drive.
New carpenter
It's a carpenter's first day on the job building a house. The foreman notices that he looks at each nail before driving it, and throws half of them away.
"Why are you throwing all those nails away?
"The head is on the wrong end."
"You idiot, don't throw those away! Those are for the other side of the house."
In my hometown...
In my hometown there was a large brick building with a big sign painted on the side of it: Kelly's Tool Works .
One morning everyone woke up to see that someone had painted below it So does mine!
A tale of two r**...
Two r**... live on either side of a river. One named Billy, the other named Clarence. Well, every day the both go to the bank on their side of the river and yell insults at each other. One day, a construction company moves in a builds a bridge accross the river. Billy wakes up one morning and sees the newly finished bridge and declares to his wife "I'm gonna go beat up that Clarence feller once and fer all!" He sets out for the bridge, but, just as he's about to cross, he sees a sign and reads to himself "Clarence: 8 ft." Needless to say he decided beating Clarence up wasn't such a good idea.
Not my own joke. Heard in on a bus trip.
Three men are standing at the edge of the roof on a tall sky scraper...
There is a strong wind blowing up the side of the building from below.
o**... says, "This wind is so strong, it will bow you right back up if you happen to fall off, watch!" He steps off the edge and falls about 30 feet before spreading his arms and legs out to catch the air. He slows, then rises back up to land gently on the roof again.
The second guy says "That's awesome, I'm going to try". He steps off the roof and falls 120 stories to his death.
Third guy says "Superman, you are a mean drunk".
3 blonde women are on one side of a river...
...wondering how they will get across. The first one decides to pray saying "God please make me smart enough to get across this river." so God turns her into a brunette and she swims across the river. The second also prays saying "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as the last girl so I can get across this river." So God turns her into a red head and she builds a boat and rows across the river. The third also prays "Dear God, please make me twice as smart as both of those women combined." So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
My wife keeps saying how she's 'addicted' to things...
Every now and then she says things like "Oh my god, I'm so addicted to shoes" or "You won't believe how addicted to candy I am".
One day, I was driving with her on the way home from work and thought that I should teach her a valuable lesson. So I started to drive through the bad side of town, and stopped in front of a decrepit apartment building where there was a j**... sitting down on the stoop in front, staring into space. I rolled down my window and pointed at the frail drugged-up man and said "Honey, *THAT* is what an addict looks like... Thin."
A Puerto Rican and a white guy were standing on a tenement roof.
The white guy turned to the Puerto Rican and said, "The updrafts on the side of the building are terrific. Watch." The white guy jumped off the side of the building, fell to within a meter of the sidewalk and floated back up, landing on his feet on top of the building.
The Puerto Rican was so impressed he decided to try it. He took a flying leap off the side and a few seconds later splattered all over the sidewalk below.
Two cops were watching from across the street. One shook his head and said to the other, "Boy, that Clark Kent sure hates Puerto Ricans."
Building a doghouse
One day, a blonde walks by little Johnny's house. Johnny is building a new doghouse for his puppy on the front lawn. The blonde walks up to Johnny and says: "That's a nice doghouse you're building! But what is that pile of nails doing behind you?"
"Oh, those are nails which have the pointy bit on the top side, and the head on the bottom. But I only need nails with the head on top, and the point on the bottom!", Johnny replies.
"Why are you throwing those away? That's such a waste!", says the blonde. "Just use those nails for the ceiling!"
Some musician jokes
Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek?
A. No one would look for them.
Q. How can you tell if a stage is level?
A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch?
A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster without hitting the sides.
Q. How do you get two guitarists to play in unison?
A. Shoot one.
Q. How can you tell if a cello is out of tune?
A. The bow is moving.
Q. Why are musician jokes so short?
A. So the bassist can understand them.
Q. If a conductor and a watermelon are both dropped from a 24 story building, what hits the ground first?
A. Who cares?
Q. How can you keep your violin from being stolen?
A. Keep it in the violin case.
Three blondes
Three blonde women are sitting on the side of a river. The first one says "dear God, make me twice as smart as I am so that I can cross the river". So God turns her into a brunette and she swims across. The second blonde says "dear God please make me twice as smart as you made the last girls so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a Red Head and she builds a boat and sails across. The third blonde says "dear God, make me twice as smart as you made the last girl so I can cross the river". So God turns her into a man and she walks across the bridge.
*edit* People, it's just a joke! So much hate, I've told other jokes as well. Here's an anti-man joke? Why are women bad with judging distance? Because they've been lied to about what 8 inches is their entire lives.
Three guys were at the gates of Heaven.
God says to each of them, "If you tell me how you died, I'll let you into Heaven."
The First guy looks at God and says, "I live in an eight story apartment building and my apartment in on the seventh floor on the west side of the building. I had left work early because I had an assumption that my wife was cheating on me.
"So I had made it home and saw my wife in bed, clothed in only a bath robe, and she was sweating. I searched around for the guy she was cheating on me with, but I couldn't find him.
"So I go outside on my balcony and I see a pair of hands hanging from the balcony. I just knew that was him! I tried stepping on his hands but his grip was too strong; so I go inside, which is the kitchen, and tip my refrigerator over and push it off the edge. Unfortunately, my leg was caught by the cord and I fall to my death."
God allows the man into Heaven.
The Second man, furious, says, "I live in an eight story apartment on the top floor. I am a business man. I was outside sorting paper work when a gust of wind blows my papers in the air. As I reach for them, the fence to my balcony breaks and I was hanging on for dear life a floor below when this idiot steps on my hands and throws a refrigerator at me!"
God allows him into Heaven.
The Third guy looks at God and says, "Picture this... You're in a refrigerator... n**....."