Side Splitting Jokes
9 side splitting jokes and hilarious side splitting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about side splitting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Heartwarming Side Splitting Jokes that Make You Laugh
What is a good side splitting joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Three priests gathered together for a drink .
During their get together ,the host ask the other two :
- How do you split your money with the Lord ?
"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.
The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .
"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.
I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.
Jesus and Moses are at a lake in heaven
They both want to see if their powers still work
so moses splits the lake, walks right through, and says "alright jesus, now you try it"
So jesus tries to walk atop the waters but winks right through, and swims to the other side.
"What happened?" Moses asks, "Did you lose balance or something?"
"Well last time I didn't have holes in my feet"
Jesus and Moses compete who can cross a river faster:
Jesus and Moses compete who can cross a river faster. Moses makes the water split and walks on dry land to the other side. Jesus tries to walk on water, but glug... glug... glug... he starts sinking. "What's the matter?" asks Jesus, "I walked on the water quite well 2000 years ago..." "Well," replies Moses, "that was before you got those holes in your feet..."
God vs Satan
In contrast to popular beliefs, Heaven and h**... dont lie above each other, but next to each other.
Because God didnt want people be tempted to cross sides, he came to an agreement with Satan: they would have a wall build and split the bill afterwards.
Ofcourse as you could imagin when the wall was build, Satan plays deaf and dumb when it comes to the bill.
After some time God is fed up with Satan's behaviour and confronts him. "If you dont pay your share, i'll sue you!"
Satan shrugs and laughs: "what are you going to do? I got all the lawyers here"
TIL It is common for staff and surgeons to laugh hysterically during separation surgery to conjoined twins.
Well it is side-splitting.
Two Chefs get in an argument,
And they split the kitchen right down the middle.
One Chef has the oven and fridge on his side, and the other has the freezer, a spice rack, and a microwave on his.
So the first Chef looks at the other and says
"What are you gonna do? You can't cook anything in a microwave, you're finished."
The second Chef looks over and tells him
"I have thyme on my side."
Sharing a meal is hilarious.
You'll be splitting your sides.
Mary had a little skirt with splits right up the sides...
And everywhere that Mary went the boys could see her thighs.
Mary had a little skirt
'Twas split right up the front...
**But she didn't wear that one often.**
I went to see a Jihadist comedian last night...
Some of the audience's sides were splitting and everyone was in stitches, but I thought he bombed on stage.
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