Side Piece Jokes

30 side piece jokes and hilarious side piece puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about side piece that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Side Piece Short Jokes

Short side piece jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The side piece humour may include short side chick jokes also.

  1. How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
    Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
  2. Adam and Eve Q: Why doesn't the bible talk more about Eve?
    A: Because she was just a side piece.
  3. Today is a historic day: US lawmakers on both sides actually agreed to pass a new piece of legislature. Unfortunately, they now have to figure out the process of making it an official law.
  4. Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
    A: Give her a piece of paper that has "Please turn over" written on both sides.
  5. How do you keep a blonde busy for a few hours? Give them a piece of paper with P.T.O on both sides

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Side Piece One Liners

Which side piece one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with side piece? I can suggest the ones about side chicks and 2 piece.

  1. What is it called when a large piece of foliage is the same on both sides? Symmetree.
  2. How do you keep a blonde busy? Put "flip" on both sides of a piece of paper
  3. What did the unfaithful cowboy gunslinger call his mistress? "Side Piece"
  4. I work in construction... We don't have side pieces, we have back h**...

Side Piece Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about side piece you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sides jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make side piece pranks.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek.

Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen. Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a square drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says Newton, you're terrible, I've found you! Newton says No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!

Two bricks of salt visit a meat factory...

And while they are looking down at one of the bone grinders, one of the salt brick accidentally falls down into the machine. The other salt brick watches in panic as his friend gets s**... into the blades and gears. After a while, the salt brick comes out from the other side of the grinding machine, all ground into pieces and powder.
"Oh my god! Are you okay Jimmy?" The salt brick on the top asks.
"Oh yeah I'm fine."

A man is sitting in a train

and watches the guy on the other side of the aisle take an apple out of his pocket, cutting it open, picking out the seeds and chewing them.
Why are you chewing the seeds?
They make me smarter
Really? Could I have some?
Sure, dollar a piece
The man agrees and gets three apple seeds for three bucks. He chews them for a while, then says Wait a minute, for three bucks I could've bought two pounds of apples!
See, it's already working

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it had crippling depression, it was constantly reminded that it's life was worthless to those it was looked down on by. A mere piece of meat, not a living creature, worthy of respect, and dignity. It didn't want to live in a constant state of fear and depression, knowing that it's only purpose in life would be death. So it escaped the farm, and took off to the highway... it saw the lights, and though the creature feared death, it was relieved to be free from the fear that plagued it.
So in short... to get to the other side.

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.
Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.
Two in one direction, then one to the side.
Hm, funny how the knight moves.

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal decide to play hide-and-seek.

Einstein is "It," closes his eyes, counts to 10, and then opens them. Pascal is nowhere to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand.
He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to one side. Einstein says, "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"
Newton says, "No no, no. You've found one Newton per square meter.
You've found Pascal!"

A man walked into a Star Wars museum

...carrying an old rusted bucket by his side and demanded to know who was in charge.
"What can I help you with today, sir?" asked the confused curator.
"This here is an authentic piece of European history and once belonged to the King of England 1000 years ago."
"But," stuttered the curator, "this is a *Star Wars* museum."
"You don't understand. The king carried a load of grouse in it after successful hunts!"
The curator's eyes grew wide and excitedly exclaimed, "Just what we've been looking for. A milennium fowl can!"

Two men are walking side by side down the street

One of them sees a broken piece of mirror on the ground, grabs it, looks at it, and says, This guy looks so familiar, but I can't remember where I know him from. The other guy grabs it from his hand, takes a look at it, and says, It's me, you idiot!

A man walks into a bar, pulls out a piece of chalk, and draws a line on the floor.

He then stood on the far side of the line and faced the door. People came in, took a look at him, and then walked around the line to go order their drinks. Eventually, a man walked in, approached the man, and stepped across the line.
Immediately, the first man took a swing and laid the second man out flat.
"Why'd you do that?" The second man asked, holding his bleeding nose.
The first man shrugged. "Because this is a punchline."

Two men are making breakfast.

Two men are making breakfast.
As one is buttering the toast, he says, Did you ever notice that if you drop a piece of toast, it always lands butter side down?
The second guy says, No, I bet it just seems that way because it's so unpleasant to clean up the mess when it lands butter side down. I bet it lands butter side up just as often.
The first guy says, Oh, yeah? Watch this. He drops the toast to the floor, where it lands butter side up.
The second guy says, See, I told you.
The first guy says, Oh, I see what happened. I buttered the wrong side!

It was early morning at the military base...

... and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:
No answer.
No answer was heard again.
"SEEBACK!!!" The troops remained totally silent.
At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant's ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.

Einstein, Pascal and Newton were playing hide and seek...

...Einstein was counting, Pascal found a pretty good place to hide but Newton didn't have any luck. Einstein had almost finished and since Newton didn't had a hiding place gets a piece of chuck and draws around him an one meter square. Einstein turns around and saw Newton.
Einstein: "Ha! You're Newton, I found you!".
Newton: "I'm not Newton,you're wrong".
E: "Yes, you are. I know you pretty well. I see Newton!"
N: "Yes, you see Newton but what else do you see?"
E: "That you are standing on a square with approximately one meter side"
N: "OK, so what's newton over meter squared?"
E: "Pascal?!"
N: "There you go! You found Pascal!"

A professor turned up to the class with two rats in a cage..

The professor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.
The rat was in the middle of the cage.
Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on side and kept a female rat on the other side.
The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.
Then, the professor changed the cake and kept some bread.
The male rat ran towards the bread.
This experiment went... on with the professor changing the food every time.
And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.
Professor said:
This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction.

Then, one of the students from the back rows said:-

"Sir, why don't you change the female rat....?
She may be his wife!!"

The FBI and the Blonde

The year is 2001, and it's post-9/11. The United States is devastated for the tragic event that happened in their country and wants to increase their security. In result, the FBI agrees with recruiting agents in the general public.
A blonde hears about this and signs up for FBI. She enters the room and their is a man in a black suit sitting on one side of the table. The blonde sits down. The FBI agent says:
"In this test, you be given a picture of a man. I will show you this for 5 seconds and you must describe everything that you remember of this man."
The agent pulls out a picture. It's a picture of the side of a man's face. He puts the picture down.
"What do you remember?" said the FBI agent
"Well... that man had one eye!" said the blonde
"No no no!" the FBI agent yelled frustrated. "Lets try this again.
The FBI agent pulls out the SAME picture of the man. Then puts it away.
"Now what do you remember?" he said.
The blonde thought for a while then said.
"Um... that man had one ear!"
"No no no! Wrong! I'll give you one last try"
The FBI agent pulls out the SAME picture of the man again.
"NOW what did you see?" said the FBI agent
"Um... That man wears contacts!" said the blonde.
"Uh.. What?"
The FBI agent pulled out a piece of paper and examined it for 10 minutes.
"Wow! He does wear contacts! I never knew that! How did you know?"
"Well with one eye and one ear, you can't wear glasses, duh!"

Three Old Ladies

Three elderly women were sitting side by side in their retirement home, reminiscing.
The first lady recalled shopping for groceries in the old days, and demonstrated with her hands the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper, too, and she demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked, "I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."

There's a car accident in a neighborhood

A guy in an old, beat up station wagon rear ends another guy in a brand new Porsche. Both drivers get out of their cars to inspect the damage and they see that the back of the Porsche is totaled but station wagon's front fender doesn't have a scratch on it.
The owner of the Porsche is livid with rage that this dolt hit him and wrecked his new car. So he goes into his car and comes back with a piece of chalk and a baseball bat. He draws a circle on the ground around the driver of the station wagon and tells him if he leaves that circle he'll beat him to death with the baseball bat.
Then the Porsche driver goes to town on the station wagon, getting all his fury out destroying the car. He bashes in the windows, dents up the hood, roof and sides and destroys all the lights. When he comes back to the driver of the station wagon he finds the guy rolling on the ground laughing his head off. Astonished, he asks the guy how he could be laughing so hard after his station wagon was just destroyed.
The guy stops laughing for a second and says, "While you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle *two times*!"

The Sleeping Scotsman

A Scotsman decides one day he'd pass the time by walking the countryside. After a couple of hours, he comes to the top of a hill and sees a road down below him.
"I don't remember there being a road here. I must be more lost than I thought!"
Before trying to trek his way back home, however, he decides to take a rest under a nearby tree.
Meanwhile, a woman driving on the road below sees the sleeping Scotsman and asked herself life's biggest question: "*Do* the Scottish wear anything under their kilts?" Curiosity getting the better of her, she pulls her car over to the side of the road and sneaks her way up to the sleeping Scotsman. She carefully picks up the front of the Scotsman's kilt and sees, in fact, they do not wear anything underneath. Feeling embarrassed and guilty, the woman sees some nearby stakes in the ground with red and blue ribbons tied to the tops of them, being used as markers for a nearby construction site. The woman takes one of these ribbons and ties it snuggly to the Scotsman's wiener to signify that someone was there.
Later, the Scotsman awakes and feels a tug under his kilt. He lifts it up and sees a blue ribbon tied tight around his piece. Upon seeing this, the Scotsman shouts:
"I don't know where ye been or what ye did, but you won first prize!"