Sickness Jokes

53 sickness jokes and hilarious sickness puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sickness that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laughter is the best medicine, and these jokes about common sicknesses will have you in stitches! Read on for a special compilation of morning sickness, sea sickness, motion sickness, and other disease- and ailment-related humour. Perfect for when you need a break from medication and remedies!

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Funniest Sickness Short Jokes

Short sickness jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sickness humour may include short illness jokes also.

  1. My grandfather warned people that the titanic would sink No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre
  2. I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude. Always walkin around like they rent the place.
  3. I'm American, and I'm sick of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world. Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.
  4. Got my girlfriend a "get better soon" card She isn't sick, I just think she can get better
  5. My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it. I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.
  6. I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes. Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
  7. My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
  8. Where do horses go when they get sick? To the horse-pital.

    Just kidding, they get shot.
  9. My sense of humor is a lot like COVID Tasteless, not good for large groups, and anyone who gets it is pretty sick.
  10. I had to remove the battery from my carbon monoxide detector. The constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick.

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Sickness One Liners

Which sickness one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sickness? I can suggest the ones about being sick and disease.

  1. How come ants don't get sick? ...because they have lil' anty-bodies
    *runs away*
  2. Why don't ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies
  3. I recently got sick at the airport, my doctor says it's a terminal illness.
  4. Why did the man get sick after eating a loaf of bread? He overdoughsed.
  5. I hate anti-maskers, they make me sick.
  6. I don't like anti-vaxxers They make me sick!
  7. What do you do with sick chemists? If you can't helium or curium, you barium.
  8. I felt kinda sick at the airport earlier... It could be a terminal illness.
  9. Well my parents are finally sick of all my electronics puns. Now I'm grounded.
  10. I am sick of this Chinese-made virus destroying society! Tik-Tok has got to go!
  11. Where do sick boats go? the dock!!
  12. "I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time." Said the Malaysian shark.
  13. Boss: How is it that you are always sick on weekdays? Me: It's my weekend immune system.
  14. A dark sense of humor is like a hospital. Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.
  15. I just got my wife a get better card. She isn't sick but I think she could get better.

Morning Sickness Jokes

Here is a list of funny morning sickness jokes and even better morning sickness puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm getting really sick of these Amber Alerts... They either wake you up at three in the morning or broadcast your license plate to the whole world.
  • My wife makes my pancakes too thin. Tomorrow morning I am telling her I am sick of her crepe.
  • I called my boss this morning and told him i was sick. "Just how sick are you?" he said.
    "well im in bed with my little sister, is that sick enough"
  • I called my boss this morning... Me: Sorry, I'm not going to make it in today, I'm sick.
    Boss: How sick are you?
    Me: Well, I'm in bed with my mother.
  • My wife was so sick this morning... that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
  • What do you call an antelope who gets sick from the fruit salad the morning of his wedding? A cantelope
    Guys I'm so proud of this joke
  • My first dad joke So, early this morning my wife got up and questioned me after I got up early with our son and fed him.
    Her: Did you get our son sick?
    Me: Nope, I got him cereal.
  • This morning i drank some milk at breakfast and everything was fine. It's when I ate my toast that I felt sick. I'm pretty sure I lack toast tolerance.
  • I work for the Samaritans. Tried to call in sick this morning... But they talked me out of it.
  • Why did the pregnant vampire feel sick? Morning sickness.

Sea Sickness Jokes

Here is a list of funny sea sickness jokes and even better sea sickness puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Do you know how old I am? I'm so old that I was around when the Dead Sea was just sick. (Told to me by my grandfather)
  • Yo momma is so old.. The Dead Sea was only sick.
  • Yo mama is so old that ... She knew the dead sea when it was sick
  • Yesterday, I was feeling quite sea sick, but today I'm doing just swell.
  • A man walks up to his friend and says, "I'm getting sick of being single." The friend replies "well there's a lot of sea in the fish.... and that sea is full of men."
  • The Sea A husband says to his wife:
    " -Honey, you remind me of the sea..."
    " -That's really sweet!"
    " -No, you just make me sick."
  • Have you heard about the Dead Sea? I didn't even know it was sick
Sickness joke, Have you heard about the Dead Sea?

Sickness joke, Have you heard about the Dead Sea?

Giggle-Inducing Sickness Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about sickness you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sick ill jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sickness pranks.

I'm sick and tired of this "everybody wins" mentality kids have these days.

Seriously, they never exercise, lie in bed 12 hours a day, and sit down far more often than they stand up. And they still get atrophy.

My girlfriend told me she's sick of me pretending to be a detective.

Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. I think we should split up."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."

Im sick and tired of people calling America the stupidest country in the world

Personally I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world

An ancient Chinese joke, at least a thousand years old.

A man visits his sick friend, and finds him to now be well and energetic. "How wonderful!", his friend says, "What happened?". "Dr. Chang is the cause of my health.", he says gratefully. "Dr. Chang, what did he do?". "Well, Dr. Li came and gave me a special diet. And I got sicker. Then Dr. Wong came and gave me bitter herbs, and I got even worse. On death's door I called for Dr. Chang." "And what did Dr. Chang do?", his friend asks in wonder. The man replies happily, "Dr. Chang did the best of all, he didn't come, so I got well!"

My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective...

...and that "we should split up"
"Good idea", I said, "that way we can cover more ground"

Are you sweating while putting petrol in your car? Feeling sick when paying for it?

You've got the carownervirus.

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...

My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!
What makes you say that? the bartender inquired.
Last week, Bill explained, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she'd run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!'

My wife asked me: "Shall we go bowling or stay cozy home."

I replied: " I am sick of putting my fingers in holes that everyone has touched with their sweaty hands. Let's go bowling!"

A man was very sick. Doctors feared the worst. He is at home one day, resting in his bed. He looks up and says, "Is my wife here?" His wife replies, "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you." The man goes, "Are my children here?" "Yes, Daddy, we are all here," say the children.

"Are my other relatives also here?"
And they say, "Yes, we are all here..."
The man sits up and says,
"Then why in the world is the light on in the kitchen?"

A doctor and a lawyer

During a party, a doctor is telling a lawyer that he is sick of his friends asking him for free medical advice. The lawyer says, "just do what I do, and leave a bill in their mailbox." The doctor decides he'll give that a try and thanks his lawyer friend. When the doctor gets home, he has a bill in his mailbox from the lawyer.

Sickness joke, A doctor and a lawyer