Sick Minded Jokes
7 sick minded jokes and hilarious sick minded puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sick minded that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Giggle-Inducing Sick Minded Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What is a good sick minded joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum.
"I'm sick of you coming home from the pub drunk out of your mind," she yelled.
"Oh yeah?" I said, burping.
"It's either me or the pub," she said.
I thought well, the pub has better company, but my house has bitter on tap...
I'm an Anti-vax and I don't care what you think.
I'm sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.
I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you say to convince me. I've been s**... into that trap before!
They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!
a miracle
A rabbi walks through a Jewish town and then he spots a fat guy who is eating pork. The rabbi is upset and prays, whishing for the fat guy to be sick from eating this "un-clean" food.
After few minutes the rabbi changes his mind: he realized he was too strict: so he prays, prays very hard to undo his previous prayer.
And lo, there was a miracle: nothing happened to the fat man.
I believe we should take care of our world leaders. They should not be lame, sick, or unsightly. With that in mind, I went to Russia to see if I could help but they turned me away.
No Putin tended.
A guy is sitting on a park bench...
... when he notices something odd about two workmen by the side of the path. The first workman would dig a hole, then the second workman would fill the hole, and the pair would move along a few feet and repeat the process. He is intrigued and watches them a for few minutes, digging and filling holes. Eventually he can't stand it any more and gets up to talk to them.
"Excuse me," he says. ""I've been watching you a little while. Do you mind me asking what are you doing?"
The first workman looks up from his digging and replies, "Sure thing. We're planting trees, but Fred's off sick today."
A guy goes skydiving for the first time...
... and while he's in the plane he's looking at his fellow jumpers. He's quite surprised when he sees that among them is a blind man, with his guide dog. After a bit of internal debate about minding his own business, curiosity wins out and he decides to just ask.
"Excuse me, but are you blind?"
"Yes I am."
"I'm sorry to pry, but I really want to know how you know when to pull the cord, since you can't see."
"Oh, the leash goes slack."
*Told to me by a sick sick sick friend over 20 years ago.
*Pardon formatting; mobile.
A Dutch anti-German joke (and the first foreign joke i ever learned!)
There's still a lot of ill feeling against the Germans in Holland. With that in mind, this is a joke a Dutch friend told me.
Walking around Amsterdam one day, a Dutchie sees a man down on his knees scooping up water from the canal with his hand to drink.
He shouts to the man (in Dutch) "Don't drink that, you will be sick!!!)
The man responds (in German) "Was hast du gesagt??" (What are you saying?)
The Dutch man responds (in German) "Use both hands! It's much better!"
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