Sick Kid Jokes
36 sick kid jokes and hilarious sick kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sick kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Sick Kid Short Jokes
Short sick kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sick kid humour may include short sick baby jokes also.
- Where do horses go when they get sick? To the horse-pital.
Just kidding, they get shot. - I want to adopt two kids... ... with cancer, both named Jordan.
I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans. - My kids seem to magically only get sick on school days...and quite a lot of them. It's like they've got weekend immune systems.
- I wish parents would stop posting videos of their sick kids on instagram. Kids shouldn't be online influenzas
- My brother is terribly sick, so we are collecting 7000$..... So that I can travel across the country. Too depressing living with that sick kid
- What do you call a sick dinosaur? A Throatisorus.
Courtesy of my little daughter.. just kidding I made it up myself. - A gay student complained to his counsellor about bullying He said he was sick of the other kids taking his brunch money.
- All these kids breaking in to buildings and taking out the valuables make me sick. I mean, I can't understand why Fortnite is so popular.
- Went to a kids party today. It was sick. I didn't know why they were celebrating while the kid was terminally ill...
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Sick Kid One Liners
Which sick kid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sick kid? I can suggest the ones about sick and crazy kid.
- a sick kid was asked to throw a ball in any direction and he threw up
- Have you heard of the new hit dance called the corona Shuffle? All the kids say it sick.
- Why did Mr Sultana leave Mrs Sultana Because he was sick of raisin' kids
- What do call a sick anti vax's kid dancing Sicko mode
- I Kidnapped a kid That way if i ever get sick of it ill get less of a life sentence.
Howlingly Hilarious Sick Kid Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about sick kid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sick dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sick kid pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Legendarily naughty Little Johnny sat in class quietly as the students were composing a poem with their teacher.
When she asked for an F-word that rhymed with "duck" he waved his hand feverishly.
The teacher frowned and passed him by.
No kids, however, could offer her a solution.
Finally she glared at Johnny and called on him.
Johnny put on his devlish grin and said, "An F-word that rhymes with duck is...fluctuation."
The teacher blurted out, "No Johnny, that's s**...! I'm so sick of telling you what a little frigging a**hole you are!"
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
“Oh, no laundry,” the boy said. “I’m going to wash my dog.”
“But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.”
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy.
The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
“Oh, he died,” the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.”
“Well,” the boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.”
“Oh, what was it then?”
“I think it was the spin cycle.”
An idiot moves to a very religious catholic neighborhood.
This particular idiot loved to eat chicken, so he grilled it every day. Now, on Fridays, the people of his neighborhood would get irritated that someone was eating meat when they had to abstain, so they took it up with their pastor. Their pastor then went to the idiot, and told him about the message of christ, and was able to convert him, spraying him with water saying, "you were born sick, you were raised sick, but now you are CHRISTIAN!". The idiots neighbors left him alone thinking that was that, but come Friday, and he's still grilling chicken when he should be abstaining. So they began to spy on him to see how he could justify such an act, and they saw him spritz his chicken with holy water, saying "you were born chicken, you were raised chicken, but now, you are FISH!"
idk if this is a repost, but my dad told me this joke as a kid, and I thought it was funny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is sick and tired of having bad relationships...
She's had the worst of the worst. Men who would run out on her, beat her, and men who were downright terrible on bed. In an attempt to better future relationships she decided to give online dating a try.
She filled out her profile and specified she was looking for a good hearted man who would never leave or a**... her who was also an efficient lover. It wasn't long after she had posted her profile that she was getting replies. She met with a few of them, but none of them felt like they truly met her requirements.
She was about to give up hope when she had a knock at her door. She opened it to find a man with no arms, and no legs there waiting.
"i'm here about your dating ad," he said.
The woman, who could barely believe what was in front of her replied, "you've got to be kidding me!"
Before she could slam the door the man interjected, "before you turn me away, hear me out. I've got no legs so I couldn't possibly run out on you and I've got no arms so I couldn't possibly hit you."
Still not convinced the woman asked, "oh? And how are you in bed with no arms or legs?"
"honey, how do you think I knocked in the door?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teenager sits next to an old man on a bench...
... and the old man will not stop staring at him. The kid had a long, spiky mohawk that was different colors. His arms and neck were covered in tattoos, and multiple piercings in his nostrils and ears.
Finally, the kid, sick of the old man staring at him says, "What's the matter old man? Ain't you never done anything crazy in your life?"
Without missing a beat the old man replies, "When I was young I got drunk and had s**... with a peacock once - I was wondering if you were my son."
My wife asked: You're pretty proud of your self for that one aren't you? With only a slight smirk on her face.
So we were out to eat with the kids. My son, Ronin, is 1 yrs old and was kinda sick; coughing. We ordered some beers and she got a Chocolate Coffee stout. My son is hacking up a lung and I say to my wife: "Your beer is a lot like Ronin right now". She said "How's that?" I said, "They are both a little coughy.
Maybe this is a dumb Dad joke but if you guys liked it then I can show this post to her to back me up. I was admittedly too proud of this one but lets see what you guys think. Preparing for onslaught in 3...2...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a CenterLink office
A man walked into his local CenterLink office (where unemployed Australians go to collect welfare payments and apply for work), and says to the clerk at the counter.....
"I am so sick of being on the dole! I need you to get me a job like NOW!!"
The clerk replies "You're timing is fantastic, we just had a new job vacancy arrive this morning!"
"Basically, a very rich man has a nymphomaniac daughter, he requires a bodyguard/chauffeur to e**... her everyday, everywhere she goes etc....
.... The starting pay rate is $250,000 per year, you will have an apartment next door to hers free of charge, the father will work out any additional requirements with you when you start the job."
The man is flabbergasted, he says "So, when can I start? I can't believe this! You must be kidding me!"
The clerk looks him straight in the eye and says, "Kidding? Well, you started it!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I work in a hospital.
The neonatal intensive care unit is one of the toughest places to work. Rooms full of babies who were born too early and/or far too sick. It's really sad what you see.
One of the worst cases I ever saw, a baby was born with no eyelids. A very rare case that happens to 1 in every 500,000 kids. It took days for doctors to figure out what to do.
Finally, they decided to transfer f**... to the face to act as eye lids. Amazingly, it worked.
The kid turned out just fine, he's just a little c**...-eyed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm sick of emo kids walking school around with their s**... heads
Oh wait, that's the chemo kids
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember when radical extremists were just kids pulling sick stunts off on their skateboards?
Gnarly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Irishmen are doing roadwork outside a brothel.
They see a rabbi approach. The rabbi looks around carefully and then slips inside.
"Ah, would'ya look at that!" says one man to the other. "A man o' the cloth even! d**... shame..."
Shortly after this, a Protestant minister walks up to the brothel before surreptitiously going in.
"Outrageous!" the road worker says. "No wonder our kids today are so confused!"
Finally, a Catholic priest approaches, looks over his shoulder, then darts in.
"Ah, will ya look at that!" says the road worker. "One o' the poor lasses must be sick."
A guy asked his boss for a day off because he was feeling sick.
His boss told him : When I'm feeling sick,I kiss my wife and kids,and my illness goes away.Try it.
Ok - said the employee,
An hour passes and the boss asks him how it went.
The employee replies : It was hard at first because she refused,but then your wife agreed and my illness dissapeared.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of camp do Jewish kids go to when they can't focus in school?
Summer camp, just like every other kid you sick b**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy approaches the boarder with a birdcage.
Do you have your papers kid.
No, you have to let me in, my bird is sick.
Sorry kid, we don't allow ill-eagle immigrants into this country.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There is only one mother
Kids in school were told to write a short essay with the phrase "There is only one mother". The next day in class the Timmy reads "There is only one mother and she takes care of me when I'm sick", next Sarah reads "There is only one mother and she prepares meals for the whole family, does the laundry and tucks me into bed at night." Finally little Jimmy reads "So my parents had a party last weekend, half of the guests are lying in their own p**... but the other half is still standing and we run out of booze so mother tells me to go fetch two bottle of v**... from the fridge. I open the fridge and yell <
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Woman is standing on the balcony rails
She is ready to jump as her husband is standing next to her. She says
-Im a sick of this world and you
The kids are horrible and do not let me sleep
I live in a horrible flat and everything is broken
I don't have any money for myself
And God d**... stop pushing me Carl!
(I again believe this might have been already seen by more people than*(edit thanks to @apocalypse) I would like to)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm sick and tired of this "everybody wins" mentality kids have these days.
Seriously, they never exercise, lie in bed 12 hours a day, and sit down far more often than they stand up. And they still get atrophy.
