Sick Disgusting Jokes
4 sick disgusting jokes and hilarious sick disgusting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sick disgusting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Sick Disgusting Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What is a good sick disgusting joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Getting Drunk
Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.
He says, "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me."
His friend says, "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually he reels home and his wife starts to give him a bad time, "You reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself, you're disgusting..."
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says, "Wait. It's not what you think. I only had one drink, but this man was sick on me. He'd obviously had one too many, or else he just couldn't hold his liquor. He was very sorry and he gave me twenty dollars for the cleaning bill. Look in my breast pocket."
She looks in his breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars."
"Ah, yes," says the man. "He peed in my trousers too!!!"
I was on the subway when someone sneezed on me.
I was so disgusted, I turned to him and said "People like you make me sick."
A man sneezes on the subway who clearly has a cold.
The man next to him says in a disgusted tone, "people like you make me sick."
A starving man walks into a busy diner...
He sees one empty seat near the counter and quickly sits down. The man next to him is passed out and looks sickly, but there is a steaming bowl of oatmeal sitting next to him, untouched.
After 10 minutes no one has even brought the man water, let alone taken his order, so he sneakily slides the bowl of oatmeal towards him and begins eating ravenously.
After only a couple minutes, he nears the bottom of the bowl, and notices a giant dead cockroach at the bottom. Disgusted, he spews all of the oatmeal back into the bowl and onto the counter. Just then, the sickly man next to him wakes up.
"Oh, yea... you saw the cockroach, too?"
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