Sick Baby Jokes

19 sick baby jokes and hilarious sick baby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sick baby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Sick Baby Short Jokes

Short sick baby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sick baby humour may include short sick kid jokes also.

  1. My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."
    Me: "No baby wait, I can change..."
  2. My girlfriend broke up with me because of my obsession She said "I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a transformer".
    I said "But baby, I can change".
    She said "There you go again!"
  3. I wish i had the immune system of an African baby I've heard they only get sick once in their whole lives.
  4. I found this little baby eagle on the ground and it looked like it was sick. I thought about taking it to the vet, but I didn't pick it up because it's ill eagle.
  5. Two baby seals are walking down the street. One looks at the other and says, "God, I'm so sick of the club scene."
  6. What's the difference between a h**... and a dead baby? One makes you feel sick and the other one is free!

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Sick Baby One Liners

Which sick baby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sick baby? I can suggest the ones about messed up baby and bad baby.

  1. A dark sense of humor is like a hospital. Lots of sickness and occasionally dead babies.
  2. The Baby Guitar Felt Sick. He Felt Like He Was Going To Uke.
  3. What do you call a sick baby elephant? An ill-infant
  4. What do baby showers and golden showers have in common? Nothing, you sick pervert!

Delightful Fun Sick Baby Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about sick baby you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sick dog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sick baby pranks.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday ..

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.
She said, "I'm sick of it. You actually believe that you're a Transformer. It's s**.... I've had enough and I'm leaving you."
I said, "But, Baby, I can change."
She said, "There you go again!"

Making Babies

A couple went to the hospital for their baby delivery. The wife was very sickly and fragile. The deliver had to be a Caesarean section. The husband was pacing the hallways while the wife was in surgery. The nurse finally came out of the delivery room with a little package wrapped in a blue blanket. The nurse said to the husband, "Here is your new baby boy, I'm very sorry your wife didn't make it". The husband handed the baby back to the nurse and demanded, "Give me the baby my wife made, not this one."

A v**... goes to a brothel...

He finds a nice young lady and the two go into a back room. He's never done this type of thing before so the h**... instructs him on what to do, telling him to begin by eating her out.
The man does as he's told, but while o**... pleasuring her he comes across a piece of a carrot. He thinks this must be normal so he continues.
Then he comes across a baby pea, again he is somewhat taken aback but he chalks this up to a lack of experience.
Finally he comes across a piece of corn, so he speaks up.
"Miss, are you sick?"
"No, but the last guy was."

I work in a hospital.

The neonatal intensive care unit is one of the toughest places to work. Rooms full of babies who were born too early and/or far too sick. It's really sad what you see.
One of the worst cases I ever saw, a baby was born with no eyelids. A very rare case that happens to 1 in every 500,000 kids. It took days for doctors to figure out what to do.
Finally, they decided to transfer f**... to the face to act as eye lids. Amazingly, it worked.
The kid turned out just fine, he's just a little c**...-eyed.

Useless in the Parking Lot

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication for her daughter.
When returning to her car she found that she had locked herkeys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter.
She didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse.
She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."
The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car.
Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."
So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.
The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful.
The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"
He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in less than one minute the car was opened.
She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank you so much! You are a very nice man."
The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."
The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God!
"You even sent me a Professional!"