Siberia Jokes
28 siberia jokes and hilarious siberia puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about siberia that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Siberia Short Jokes
Short siberia jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The siberia humour may include short motherland jokes also.
- There once was a priest from Siberia... whose morals were rather inferior.
He did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done
And made her a mother superior. - American astronauts landed in Siberia. They walked for a long time in the taiga, met a man. - Do you speak English? - they asked.
He answered:
- Yes, I do. But what's the point? - What was the tallest building in the Soviet Union? KGB Headquarters. You could see Siberia from the basement.
- While on location for weeks in arctic Siberia, writing a piece for National Geographic, my brother randomly showed up to keep me company. It really helped having a cool story bro.
- Ever since my girlfriend moved to Siberia things haven't been the same. She's so cold and distant.
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? Because I think Siberia is pretty chill.
- Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia.
That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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Siberia One Liners
Which siberia one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with siberia? I can suggest the ones about homeland and winter.
- Why do you have to nuke siberia twice? The first one is just to break the ice.
- How did Marco polo cross Siberia? He took it one steppe at a time.
- The stop road signs in Siberia don't say Stop They say Freeze
- I spent a summer in the beautiful lands of Siberia. It was the best week of my life.
- After crossing which line in Siberia, can you no longer escape it? The evenk horizon
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Siberia Jokes
What funny jokes about siberia you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trek jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make siberia pranks.
Collection of my favorite Latvian Jokes.
* Man is hungry. He steal bread to feed family. Get home, find all family have gone Siberia! More bread for me, man think. But bread have worm.
* Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already r**... by soldier.
* Latvian walk into bar with mule. Bartender say, Why so long face? Latvian say, I was thinking of my daughter. She has been lie with soldier for potato feed baby.
* Three Latvian are brag about sons. My son is soldier. He have r**... as many women as want, say first Latvian. Zo? second say, My son is farmer. He have all potato he want! Third Latvian wait long time, then say, My son is die at birth. For him, struggle is over. Wow! You are win us, say others. But all are feel sad.
* Q : What are one potato say other potato? A : Premise ridiculous. Who have two potato?
* Q : How many Latvian is take screw in light bulb? A : 25. One screw in, 24 ride bicycle generator for 1-hour shift. But time probably better spend search food.
* Q: What is happening if you cross Latvian and potato? A: This is cruel joke. please, no more.
A guy was watching TV in Moscow, and the weather forecaster says that it's -35C (-31F) in Irkutsk, Siberia.
The guy is impressed, and he remembers that he had a classmate who moved to Irkutsk. So he finds his number and calls him. "Hey, how are you doing? I heard you have really terrible temperature in Irkutsk, right?" "No, why, we have, like, -5C (23F) here", replies his friend. "Oh, and the weather forecaster says that you have -35!" "Ah, it's probably outside", friend replies.
My Siberian cousin was kidnapped while taking a selfie.
In Soviet Russia, pictures take you.
Russian man is watching weather forecast on TV and they say that it's -50°C in Siberia today...
In disbelief he calls his Siberian friend:
\- Hey, I've heard is super cold in Siberia these days?
\- Nah, it's nothing special, about -25°.
\- Yeah? On TV they've said it's -50° C!
\- Ah, this must be outside.
Timeline of Russian conquests
1552 - Annexation of Kazan
1554 - Annexation of Astrakhan
1555 - Annexation of Siberia
1783 - Annexation of Crimea
1920 - Annexation of Crimea
1944 - Annexation of Crimea
2014 - Annexation of Crimea
Did you know that a Siberian Tiger can absolutely devour a 7-year-old girl in just about 45 seconds?
Anyways, I lost my job at the petting zoo, today...
Russian referendum.
Russia initiates a referendum in Crimea about returning Crimea back to Russia. Ukraine initiates a referendum about returning Kaliningrad to Germany, Sakhalin and the Kuril Islands to Japan, Kazan - to Tatar, Karelia - to Finland, Siberia to Yakuts, and everything situated east from Ural mountains - to ingenious people.
Latvia in WW2
Latvian man sent to front in Great Patriotic War. No potato, much shooting. Is captured by Germans. Germans send to POW camp. Get own potato as prisoner! But Soviets liberate camp, take all potato. Man dies in Siberia.
'This Siberian cold is horrible, I hope you remembered the matchsticks.' My friend said.
'Yup,' I gleefully responded, 'Even tested each one to make sure they work.'
A German worker gets a job in Siberia, aware of how all mail will be read by the censors, he tells his friends;
"Let's establish a code, if a letter you get from me is written in ordinary blue ink; it's true, if it's written in red ink, it's false"
After a month, his friends get the first letter;
"Everything is wonderful here, the shops are full, food is abundant, apartments are large and properly heated, cinemas show films from the West, there are many beautiful girls ready for an affair, the only thing you can't get is red ink"
Different ethnic groups in the USSR have a meeting.
Each group has a representative, who must talk about what it is like living in the soviet union (and praise lenin and communism along the way if they don't want to get killed).
The Chukchi people live in Siberia, and haven't had it so great under soviet rule. Their representative begins to speak.
"After the revolution, in 1922 when the soviet union was formed, we had 1 feeling: cold."
"A few years later, we began to have another feeling: hunger."
This raised some eyebrows.
"And now we have 3 feelings: cold, hunger, and a great appreciation for the communist party."
A hunter tribe in Siberia catches a Camel.
They kill it, and wonder what it is. To find out, they ask the best hunter.
He answers "It is not a fox, it is not a rabbit. Ask the chief of the tribe, he might know".
They ask the chief.
He says, "Not a reindeer, and not a seal. I don't know what it is".
As a last resort they ask the shaman priest. They walk into his tent, and find him sitting on a chair with a ton of smoke around him.
The hunters are not startled, as that is standard stuff. They finally ask him what it is, and the priest answers without delay
"Come on guys its Camel you have to smoke it"
