Shutdown Jokes

44 shutdown jokes and hilarious shutdown puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shutdown that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Take a break with these funny jokes related to the Government Shutdown and its founders. A selection of jokes about the current system and how it is seen to be closing down.

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Funniest Shutdown Short Jokes

Short shutdown jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shutdown humour may include short pause jokes also.

  1. Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely? Welcome to the shutdown...
  2. Why didn't the POTUS go golfing during the shutdown, since only essential personnel are needed? Does anyone know the answer?
  3. It's official Trump's inauguration date is now a National Holiday. At least I assume so because the government shutdown for it.
  4. Government is back open but I heard If trump sees his shadow it's 6 more weeks of shutdown
  5. I heard that pornhub was shutdown in Russia over the weekend... Guess you could say things are out of hand over there.
  6. Does anyone know if Donald Trump saw his shadow this morning? Six more weeks of government shutdown coming if he did!
  7. I read that the Large Magellanic Cloud is going to collide with the Milky Way in 2 billion years. Maybe the government shutdown will be over by then.
  8. It's official this government shutdown is now longest ever I guess president Trump is really best at something
  9. Day 32 of the government shutdown That makes it just over two years since we've had a functioning government
  10. Your mamas so fat... She could end the government shutdown if we put her on the US/Mexico Border.

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Shutdown One Liners

Which shutdown one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shutdown? I can suggest the ones about stops and close.

  1. Why did the dinosaur newspaper shutdown? Their ratings were killed by social meteor
  2. No need to prolong the government shutdown. We've already built a wall. A paywall.
  3. Just heard NASA shutdown operations to the Mars rover. Wasted opportunity!
  4. They're going to unplug me if this government shutdown continues any longer Read my name
  5. On the government shutdown... Governmentn't
  6. Why did my office shutdown after I brought in doughnuts? Someone said I was the bomb
  7. Ajit Pai made inquiries concerning how a government shutdown might affect him

Government Shutdown Jokes

Here is a list of funny government shutdown jokes and even better government shutdown puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How many are worried about a government shutdown? How many are worried about it starting back up?
  • If I had a dollar for every time somebody told me , don't worry, you'll all get back pay I'd still be in a financial hardship due to the government shutdown.
  • How many congressmen does it take to run a government? This post is government funded, please check back after the shutdown has ended and funding has resumed.
  • Ajit Pai made inquiries about how a government shutdown could affect him but Verizon assures him he'll still get paid
  • The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
  • This government shutdown has made it so TSA agents can relate to artists. There is a lot of exposure and no pay.
  • Want to get an idea how important you are during a government shutdown? IRS REFUND department: Non-essential
    IRS Audit department.: Essential
  • Donald Trump on Twitter: "Merry Christm--" [Status Update™ will be available after Government Shutdown. For more information, visit your Twitter® account settings.]
Shutdown joke, Donald Trump on Twitter: "Merry Christm--"

Silly & Ridiculous Shutdown Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about shutdown you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shutdown pranks.

Smith & Wesson Joke

A customer came in to where I work told me this one. Thought I'd share:
Have you heard Smith & Wesson is making a pair of revolvers to commemorate the government shutdown? They will be called The Congressman and The Senator respectively. They don't actually do anything and you can't fire them.

BREAKING: The Internet has been permanently shutdown in Russia, Kremlin announced today, adding that a new network open only to Russians is set to go online within the week

Sources close to the Kremlin says Putin himself took to naming the network, proudly dubbing it as 'The Internyet'

President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.
"What happened to you?" asked Trump
"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 21-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."
"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.
"I said I'm Donald Trump's Chief of staff, and I just killed the pig."

I hate when a generation refuses to work and still expect to receive government checks

Those baby boomers in Congress sure are entitled snowflakes
I know the shutdown is done, but I think this joke is funny and I made it up myself.

This shutdown is bad for everyone in the service industry, but it especially s**... for men

We're losing $1 for every $.79 women are losing

A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London

A 747 just landed at Heathrow Airport in London. After the captain shutdown the engines you could still hear the whining.

Sheriff: Sir you I'm fining you for having your store open during the shutdown

Man: Oh, I'm not the owner I'm just looting.
Sheriff: Oh, ok carry on
This was an actual conversation overheard.

Trump wants the shutdown to go on for as long as possible.

He thinks that way we won't be able to hold another election.

Nancy Pelosi just thrashed Trump over this shut-down business.

But Stormy Daniels showed us that Trump likes getting spanked by a woman.

Shutdown joke, Nancy Pelosi just thrashed Trump over this shut-down business.