Shrieks Jokes
14 shrieks jokes and hilarious shrieks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shrieks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Shrieks Short Jokes
Short shrieks jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shrieks humour may include short screams jokes also.
- Difference between falling from 1st and 10th floor 1st floor : Thud.....Silence......Shriek
10th floor : Shriek......Thud...Silence - Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says "Man, it sure is hot in here." The other muffin shrieks " Ahhhhh! A talking muffin!"
- "Of course I have a mandate!" Donald Trumpler shrieked at reporters. "Master Putin is picking me up tonight for dinner and dancing."
- "TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A YELLOW WOOD!," she shrieked, as she tears her body hair out by the roots. She's waxing poetic.
- Metal songs that don't get any violent reaction from the audience like growling and shrieking are gold! Coz without reaction they'd be noble metals.
- What do you call it when Donald Trump is shrieking at someone for spilling a drink on his tie? A tyrant on a tie-rant.
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Shrieks One Liners
Which shrieks one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shrieks? I can suggest the ones about yells and shouts.
- Me: I have a fear of the Backstreet Boys Therapist: tell my why
Me: *shrieks in t**...*
Delightful Fun Shrieks Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about shrieks you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean screeching jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shrieks pranks.
A man rushes into the doctors' office and screams, "Doctor, Doctor! I swallowed one of those 'do not eat' packets in a bag of pepperoni! Am I going to die?" The doctor tries to relax him by saying, "Well, everyone is going to die eventually."
The man shrieks and responds, "Everyone?! Oh lord, what have I done?"
A knight and his men return to their castle...
...after a long hard day of fighting.
"How are we faring?" asks the king.
"Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any enemies to the west!"
"Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now."
A man rushes into the doctors' office and says "Doctor, Doctor! I swallowed one of those 'do not eat' packets in a bag of pepperoni! Am I going to die?" The Doc says, "Well, everyone is going to die eventually"
To this, the man shrieks and responds "Everyone? Oh lord, what have I done?"
s**... harassment
The supervisor of a local firm is startled when his secretary bursts into his office to file a complaint of s**... harassment against a man working in the same department. "What on earth did he do?", asks the boss. "It's not what he did but what he said!", the secretary shrieks. "He said my hair smelt nice!". "And what is so wrong with him telling you that?", asks the boss. "He's a midget" ,huffs the woman.
A man has to pee...
But he is in the middle of Central Park. He finds what he believes is an out of the way spot, unzips, and does his thing.
To his surprise, the spot he chose was not very secluded, and before he can do anything about it, a woman walks right in front of him.
She shrieks and says, "g**...!"
"Danke schoen," he replies.
A man walks into a museum.
While wandering, he trips and breaks a vase.
He panicks and picks the pieces up.
But the curator appears and almost has a heart attack.
"What have you done! that vase was 2000 years old." He shrieks.
"Oh thank God." The man sighs in relief. " I thought it was brand new."
A Scotsman is at a bar..
A woman at the bar looks on in interest at his kilt, noticing this he yells at her "You can put your hand up there if ya like!"
She can't contain her curiosity, and upon sliding her hand up his kilt she shrieks "Oh it's gruesome!"
He chuckles,
"Put your hand up again lass, It's grew some more!!"
A number 2 is walking down the street...
When another number 2 sneaks up from behind and jumps on his friends back to surprise him.
The first number 2 shrieks out-
"Aahhhhh!! You squared me!!"
Sorry...
An obese woman goes to the doctor.
She explains to the Doctor that she has been very nauseas and vomiting, even more so in the morning. After many tests and examinations the doctor came to a conclusion, "It looks like you're pregnant." He told her.
The woman was very distraught with his diagnosis. "I'm pregnant?!" She shrieks.
"No, but it looks like you are."
Put the P in pool
A police officer is on his beat walking past a public pool. A woman runs out of the pool area and shrieks Officer!! Officer! There's a man peeing in the pool!
The cop responds so what lady, everyone pees in the pool
She responds, well not off the high dive!
A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained,
The doctor examined him and explained:"I'm going to give you some suppositories.
I'll insert one now, and then I'll give you another one for later this evening."
Later that evening, the man asks has his wife to insert the suppository.
She agrees reluctantly, puts one hand on his shoulder and inserts the suppository. Suddenly, her husband shrieks,
"Aahhhhh!"
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" she asks.
"No... I just realised that the doctor had both his hands on my shoulders!"
