The Best 77 Shown Jokes

Following is our collection of Shown jokes which are very funny. There are some shown tour jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these shown mortality puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Shown Jokes and Puns

The wife asked me what I was doing on the internet last night.

I told her I was looking for flights. "I love you!" she said and then she got all excited. That night we had the most amazing sex ever... which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before.

An old man goes to the doctor's

An old man goes to the doctor's because he has been feeling bad lately. The doctor does some tests on him and tells him to come back the next day for the results.

The next day the man gets his diagnosis. The doctor says: "Sir, I have bad news for you. You have inoperable cancer. The tests have also shown that you have problems with your memory. It seems you have Alzheimer's."

The old man says: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"

A recently deceased man was being shown around heaven.

St Peter was looking after him by showing him the various facilities that were available. At the end of the tour, St Peter asked the man if he had any questions.

The man could only think of one. He pointed to a long wall running along one side. "Why do you have a wall there?" asked the man.

St Peter sighed and said, "That is for the Catholics. They`re on the other side. They like to think that they are the only ones here."

Shown joke, A recently deceased man was being shown around heaven.

How do you know when the drummer has shown up for band practice?

He won't stop banging at the door.

IT guy

John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "


Everything can be reduced to a fart joke ...

Even physics:

We know that everything on earth falls at the same rate of acceleration, 32 feet per second per second. The difference comes down to mass and wind resistance, as shown by a flat piece of paper and one balled up. This means that the determining factor in your total decent is how much wind you break!

Recent studies have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy

Shown joke, Recent studies have shown that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy

"A team of medical scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy, however they claim that no one has shown the slightest but of interest" - George Carlin

After being shown around, the prison warden was asked for his opinion on the prisoners' new creative writing class.

..."It has its prose & cons"

Apparently the majority of The United Arab Emirates don't allow The Flintstones to be shown...

However Abu Dhabi do.

Recent studies have shown that women overwhelmingly prefer 77, rather than 69.

Top analysts this is because they get 8 more.

You can explore shown recent reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean shown experimental dad jokes. There are also shown puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How did Marty McFly react when shown what 2015 would really look like?

Gee, it's hard to say, although he did seem pretty shaken up about it.

A recent study has shown you should NOT vaccinate kittens

It increases their risk of awww-tism

Why are all the fish high?

Because of the seaweed.

I've already shown myself out, don't worry.

You know all those things that "Have been shown to cause cancer in the state of California"?

Seems they prove the state of California causes cancer.

Birthdays are good for your health

Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer.

Shown joke, Birthdays are good for your health

[Serious] Have any animals besides humans been shown to exhibit humor in their social interactions?

Looking for anyone with specific knowledge of this. Any zoolologists out there?

A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex.

Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby

Recent studies have shown that 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rapes, and would be apart of one again.


A study has shown that women are better than men at driving in fog..

Well of course they are. They're not looking where they're going.

Somebody accused me of being condescending today...

...by the way, condescending is shown or characterized by a patronizing or superior attitude toward others.

Five emos in a room

A study has shown that if you put five emos in a room, one of them will eventually kill himself because he wont have a corner to cry in.

A new study has shown banana skins contain traces of LSD...

I guess that explains why people are always tripping on them

Hillary was shown a video of her flip-flopping on issues all over her career.

At first, she was upset. Now she says she's ok with it.

Recent studies have shown that several species of shrimp have randomly died while migrating to other seas or oceans

I guess they were accident prawn

A recent study has shown that listening to too much Queen might be dangerous to your health.

It contains a lot of mercury.

Surveys have shown that..

6/7 dwarfs aren't Happy

TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer.

'The more you know'

Scientists have found out...

after they were shown the exit.

Why the Dinosaurs Died

It has been shown that the moon is moving away from us at a tiny (but measurable) distance each year. Therefore, if you do the maths, you will find that eighty-five million years ago it would've killed many, if not all the dinosaurs, by orbiting at an elevation of approximately thirty-five feet.

Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack?

Because of all his cross training

Recent studies have shown that Apple is trailing behind Samsung in innovation

Experts predict that it will take at least another two years for iPhones to bring explosive features to the market.

Studies have shown horses exposed to marijuana are less stable and unsafe to ride.

So get off your high horse.

A man goes up to heaven and is being shown around.

A man goes up to heaven and is being shown around. He is surprised to be living with his wife and an ex from college. An angel explains "In heaven, you spend your time with the people you had sex with the most times".

The man thinks this could cause trouble and asks if there is any way to appeal the decision. The angel tells him he could speak to one of the priests. The man asks where to find a priest. The angel replies "They are easy to find, just look for a crowd of choir boys".

Recent studies have shown that 67% of women have used vibrators

The other 33% have brand new ones

A new study has shown LSD causes new users to lose weight.

Obviously, You can eat while there's a dragon gaurding your fridge.

People are mad because MTV doesn't show music videos. What about Fox News?

They haven't shown a fox in months.

(Craig Ferguson)

A new study has shown that Vietnamese couples are the happiest of them all

because most of the time, it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation for everyone.

Studies have shown that women who are overweight

Are more likely to outlive men that mention it.

Why was the thief who tried to rob a Zimbabwean bank acquitted?

He was shown to be criminally insane.

Why is Jesus always shown with a six pack of abs?

Because hes Cross fit.

Happy easter!

A recent study has shown patient mortality rates increase with the age of the doctor

Next week I have a surgical consultation with a particularly clever-looking newborn.

Research has shown therapists can easily become the sexual predators.

It's only a matter of space.

Why cant unicorns become politicians?

They get straight to the point and can be shown to be true

Studies have shown that smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.

Judge: Louis, you shouldn't have shown your..

Recent reports have shown that Tide Pods can be used to clean your bathtub or jacuzzi...

Since they're already acting like chlorine on our gene pool

Studies have shown that public speaking is the thing that people fear the most. The second most-common fear is death.

This means that most people would rather be the one in the casket rather than the one giving the eulogy.

Studies have shown that married men live longer than single men...

So if you want a longer life, and a slower death, just get married.

Studies have shown that half of the people in this country are slowly going crazy.

The rest of us are doing it quicker.

Bug: Gym and overworld interfaces shown at the same time

Soviet diplomats

It would be great if in 1941 Italy, Romania, Finland and Spain, having shown solidarity with Germany, limited themselves to the expulsion of several Soviet diplomats.

At my optometrist I was shown pictures of printers, external hard drives, monitors, and the like.

They said they were testing my peripheral vision.

Studies have shown that a deer can jump higher than an average house.

This is because deer are agile animals and also due to the fact that a house cannot jump.

Recent studies show that chimps raised in captivity are more likely to reproduce if they are shown videos of other chimps mating in the wild.

monkey see monkey do monkey, monkey do monkey

I don't know why people say that no employer will be interested in your liberal arts degree.

I would love to hire someone who has clearly shown that they don't care at all about how much money they make.

There was a situation where malware was shown as a kitten meme

The damage it caused was catastrophic

Apparently people who exercise have been shown to recover better and be less at risk from mental health issues...

So who said you can't run away from your problems.

Studies have shown that attending church can actually release frustration.

I guess that's where the priests come in.

The police arrested a pilot and a customs agent for running a smuggling ring

They thought they were being careful. But after being shown the evidence, complete with fingerprints, they confessed.



Pilot: "How'd you catch us anyway?"



Detective: "Everything was hidden in plane site."

Recent studies have shown that...

Recent studies have shown that both genders reply differently to certain questions.

For example, if you ask a woman "Why do women make better leaders than men?", they'll usually reply "Because women have better leadership."

But if you ask men the same question...

"Because a man will do anything to get a woman to shut up."

Man arrested for selling eternal youth pills.

News has just come in about a man in the Dublin area has been arrested for selling pills that he claimed would give eternal youth.

Police records have shown that it is the fourth time this man has been arrested. The earlier arrests were made in 1799, 1852 and 1921.

A study has shown 90% of women aren't interested in men that wear pink shirts.

Ironically, 90% of men that wear pink shirts aren't interested in women.

A man gets killed filming a horror movie, and the footage of the man getting killed was shown at his funeral.

Needless to say, it was a grave mistake.

Studies shown that people over 35 years old know the joke that would make smile more people then they know.

The problem is that most of the time they can not rember it.

In case you didn't know, research has shown that 72% of all statistics are made up and that's shocking.

I made that one up too.

Studies have shown that if presented with song lyrics, the human mind will produce the melody and have it in the background. According to the researchers,

your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know.

A recent study has shown that almost 92% of anti-vaxers are republican.

guess that problem solves itself.

New bathroom

I was shopping for a new bathroom this week, and was shown an amazing toilet that plays ABBA songs when you flush it.

What a loo.

Studies have shown that people with more curves have a much higher risk of catching the virus.

Scientists are working hard to flatten the curve.

My vegetarianism is the same as my heterosexuality

I'll stick by it until I'm shown a good enough sausage

Studies have shown that American youth has already started using the metric system

Nowadays you can even find students from various schools in America using 9mm

Organ donation study reaches same conclusions as earlier study on GMO's

Studies have shown a strong correlation between the sexual identity of patients and whether they're able to accept various different donor organs. In particular, the bodies of aggressively heterosexual patients tend to reject donor organs.

As with studies earlier this year on genetically modified crops, researchers concluded from this data that straight men don't like trans plants.

PSA do not wear a washington wizards face mask.

CDC studies have shown they provide no defense

A panda walks into a restaurant

A panda walks into a restaurant. He is shown to his seat and orders some food. When he is done eating, he pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter. The chef runs out of the kitchen and asks the panda "what did you do!?!?" The panda responds, "I'm a panda, look it up" and walks away. the chef looks on his phone and looks up panda. The first result says "pandas eat shoots and leaves"

President Calvin Coolidge and his wife were being shown separately around an experimental farm

When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day."

Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by."

When the President came by the henhouse, the guide dutifully told him what his wife had said.

"Same hen every time?" the President asked.

"Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time."

The President nodded his head. "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

Nicola Sturgeon is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital when one of the patients sits up in bed and exclaims:

"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, great chieftain o' the pudden race!"

Before Nicola can respond, another patient responds: "Wee, sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"

while a third one chimes in with "Some hae meat and cannae eat, and some wad eat that want it!"

She turns a puzzled face upon her doctor escort and says "Is this the psychiatric ward, then?"

And he replies, "Och, no...

"It's the Burns Unit!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the shown researcher jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working shown possibilities piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes