Showers Jokes
104 showers jokes and hilarious showers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about showers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with hilarious April showers jokes! From jokes about taking a bath to jokes about bathing with a rubber duck, this collection of light-hearted shower jokes is sure to make you giggle.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Showers Short Jokes
Short showers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The showers humour may include short showering jokes also.
- Joke from my 8 year old daughter for Halloween. Why didn't the ghost like to take showers?
Because it would dampen his spirits. - Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
- My girlfriend tried to take a selfie in the shower, but it was too blurry. She has selfie steam issues.
- Why do native Americans hate April? Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
- What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now
- I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19. If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.
- A programmer got stuck in the shower because... The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat." - I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
- If mcdonalds sold fancy steaks they'd call them Filet Mc'gnons ...also it's my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!
- TIL that at age 13 Jewish girls have a bat Mitzvah and at age 15 Latina girls have a... Baby shower.
Share These Showers Jokes With Friends
Showers One Liners
Which showers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with showers? I can suggest the ones about baths and shower curtain.
- If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Genocide
- After my ex died, I couldn't shower alone for 10 years But I'm out of prison now
- I have bathed in the blood of virgins! I had a nosebleed in the shower.
- When my wife died I couldn't shower alone for 12 years. But I'm out of prison now!
- My wife asked me to please quit singing Wonderwall in the shower I said maybe.
- I don't want to brag, but when I take my clothes off... the shower gets turned on.
- A bald guy slipped in the shower Fell on his head and slipped again.
- Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
- If April Showers bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Smallpox.
- Who cares if you pee in the shower? The bride and all her guests, apparently.
- What kind of tree does a chicken grow on? A poultry.
(came up with that in the shower) - Why do Indigenous people hate April? Because April showers bring Mayflowers
- Why do German shower faucets have 11 holes? Jews only have 10 fingers.
- What did Shakespeare call his shower McBath
- Nice guys don't finish last.. They finish alone in the shower.
April Showers Jokes
Here is a list of funny april showers jokes and even better april showers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- April showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? Pilgrims.
What do Pilgrims bring?
Smallpox - Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore? April showers bring Mayflowers.
- Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? A: Separatists and small pox.
- April showers bring May flowers... ...but Mayflowers bring smallpox.
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
Credit to my 5yo daughter who just told me that one. She can't read so I'm relatively sure she didn't find it here. - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
- In April of 1620, it rained. That same year, the Pilgrims arrived. I suppose the saying is true. April showers bring Mayflowers.
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
I'll be here all week folks, try the veal. - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Hay fever
Admit it, you thought I was gonna say pilgrims, didn't you? - Why did the Native Americans hate spring? Because April showers brought Mayflowers
Hilarious Showers Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about showers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean taking bath jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make showers pranks.
What's the difference between a hockey team and a Russian woman?
The hockey team showers after three periods.
Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo?
for meatier showers.
What's the difference between a hockey team and a New Jersey h**...?
A hockey team showers after 3 periods.
A polite German who never showers walks into a cathouse...
...and does his buisness. All the women then commented on how he had quite a "grüß dich."
A man comes into jail the first time in life...
On the first day in the shower a huge hairy guy full of muscles comes out of the fog right to him :"You're my new wife now. Let's get it on."
The man looks all around but theres nobody who'll help him and he surrenders in fear of what might come.
"With or without spit?" asks the big hairy man. The first-timer answered "When I have to: with spit" The big man turns around and yells into the showers: "Yo Spit, he says you can come too."
I take a lot of showers.
Nobody's caught me yet.
Was my French teacher into golden showers?
Oui.
Courtesy of Stewart Francis.
Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?
He was expecting showers.
I was expelled from school for m**... in the showers
The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz
How good are the showers at Auschwitz?
They're to die for.
I like my showers like I like my women
Hot, wet and finished in 20 minutes.
If I can use dollar bills to make it rain, are dollar coins golden showers?
PC gamers don't take hot showers.
They take Steam-y ones.
Why do astronomers eat steak before skywatching?
They're hoping for meatier showers
German engineering isn't that good...
...showers in the camps didn't even work!
My girlfriend likes golden meteor showers
(I have kidney stones)
I like my women how I like my showers...
Cold, crying and alone.
Why should you never hire a Jewish plumber?
They all seem to get a bit weird around showers.
98% of black people love having s**... in showers
The other 2% haven't been to prison yet
King Midas doesn't like baths
He likes golden showers.
Why don't they have showers on airplanes?
Because of the towel ban.
How do we know showers are bisexual?
Every n**... person they see turns them on
Did you know the government puts ground beef in the chem trails?
That explains the meatier showers.
A woman was having a shower
When the doorbell rang.
"It's me, the blind man."
And she didn't open the door because she has public decency and doesn't stop her showers for strangers.
A friend of mine got caught m**... in the showers.
It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz.
A German and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
After buying the German a beer, the Frenchman asks where his is from.
"Auschwitz," the German replies.
"Is it weird living there, especially with its history?" The Frenchman asks.
"Yes, but the services are incredible."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. Cheap gas and free showers."
How does Princess Leia like her showers?
Lukewarm.
Why is Trump so keen to stay with the queen in the UK?
He heard she has golden bathrooms and can't wait to try out the showers.
One of the advantages of being ugly...
You can bend over in prison showers
If if April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Hay fever...achooo
I'm addicted to taking showers...
..I've been trying to get clean for years now.
April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring?
June bugs.
What do June bugs bring? Small grub-eating mammals, wasps, and endoparasitoid pyrgotidae flies.
Before our first child, I took showers for granted
now I don't take showers at all.
What is the difference between a hippy chick and a hockey player? (1 of 3 hippy jokes)
A hockey player usually showers after 3 periods
Why don't Syrian kids ever take showers?
They wash up on shore.
What do Golden Knights do after their games?
Take golden showers
This weather forecast extinguished my hope for a good day. They predicted 20% showers...
and 80% bathtubs.
If April showers bring May flowers, what does April snow bring?
Incredulous Facebook posts about the arrival of spring.
I'm proud to say I've been clean for one year.
But all these showers aren't helping me quit smoking crack.
How rich is the President?
Rich enough to get golden showers.
Is my French girlfriend fond of golden showers?
Oui...
Why should you take regular showers?
Because you might get so oily, America invades you.
TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths
But as time advanced they moved onto meteor showers.
How would the n**... have killed the dinosaurs?
With meteor showers.
So my brother has been taking rill good care of his hair
After his hour long showers all my conditioner is gone
Why aren't bathtubs good at gardening?
Because they're showers not growers.
My friend has a habit of taking blurry pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror after taking hot showers...
I thunk he has a high selfie steam problem.
What do Trump and R. Kelly have in common?
Golden Showers.
If April showers bring May flowers...
I'm on track to get 2 flowers next month.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims
I guess there wont be many flowers this May
because of how few showers I took this April.
Why don't Native Americans do rain dances in April?
Because April showers bring May flowers and May flowers bring white men.
What do the Frey and public golden showers have in common?
Everyone knows u**... over your head
What do you call a pirate that likes golden showers?
ARRRRRRRRR Kelly
Apparently all the bathroom fixtures in the Whitehouse are now gold.
I just heard the President likes gold in showers.
With being a hippie, it's not that we don't take showers, it's just we don't use soap
We'd lather not
Todays weather forecast…
S
O
e
S
H
W R
Scattered showers
A mathematician walks into a bar on a rainy April day...
The bartender asks him, "Hey, do you know what April showers bring?"
The mathematician says, "Pilgrims!"
A woman once asked me about golden showers.
u**... over your head, I replied.
Singing in the showers Is great until you get soap in your mouth
Then it's a soap opera
Let's Not Make Jokes About Golden Showers, Alright?
They're p**...-pour.
How do you refer to a sponge that doesn't want to have anything to do with showers or baths?
Aloofa.
What's the difference a hockey player and a hippie chick?
A hockey player showers after three periods
A farmer complained to me men of his profession had a tough time attracting women.
My buddy's a car showroom salesman and he says him and his work buddies can't keep them away! I just don't get it.
That's life, I said, fact is, a lot of women simply prefer showers over growers.
