Showers Jokes
104 showers jokes and hilarious showers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about showers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with hilarious April showers jokes! From jokes about taking a bath to jokes about bathing with a rubber duck, this collection of light-hearted shower jokes is sure to make you giggle.
Funniest Showers Short Jokes
Short showers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The showers humour may include short shower curtain jokes also.
- Joke from my 8 year old daughter for Halloween. Why didn't the ghost like to take showers?
Because it would dampen his spirits. - Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
- My girlfriend tried to take a selfie in the shower, but it was too blurry. She has selfie steam issues.
- What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now
- I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19. If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.
- A programmer got stuck in the shower because... The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat." - I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
- If mcdonalds sold fancy steaks they'd call them Filet Mc'gnons ...also it's my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!
- TIL that at age 13 Jewish girls have a bat Mitzvah and at age 15 Latina girls have a... Baby shower.
- Why do some covid patients need to take a shower? Because they are starting to smell again
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Showers One Liners
Which showers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with showers? I can suggest the ones about taking bath and meteor shower.
- If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Genocide
- After my ex died, I couldn't shower alone for 10 years But I'm out of prison now
- I don't want to brag, but when I take my clothes off... the shower gets turned on.
- A bald guy slipped in the shower Fell on his head and slipped again.
- Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
- If April Showers bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Smallpox.
- Who cares if you pee in the shower? The bride and all her guests, apparently.
- What kind of tree does a chicken grow on? A poultry.
(came up with that in the shower) - Why do Indigenous people hate April? Because April showers bring Mayflowers
- What did shakespeare call his shower McBath
- Nice guys don't finish last.. They finish alone in the shower.
- Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo? for meatier showers.
- My girlfriend likes golden meteor showers (I have kidney stones)
- I used to be addicted to showering… I got clean.
- Friends invited me to a meteor shower party, but I couldn't make it. They were crushed.
April Showers Jokes
Here is a list of funny april showers jokes and even better april showers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why don't Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore? April showers bring Mayflowers.
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims!
- In April of 1620, it rained. That same year, the Pilgrims arrived. I suppose the saying is true. April showers bring Mayflowers.
- If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims.
I'll be here all week folks, try the veal. - If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Hay fever
Admit it, you thought I was gonna say pilgrims, didn't you? - I guess there wont be many flowers this May because of how few showers I took this April.
- A mathematician walks into a bar on a rainy April day... The bartender asks him, "Hey, do you know what April showers bring?"
The mathematician says, "Pilgrims!" - April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? June bugs.
What do June bugs bring? Small grub-eating mammals, wasps, and endoparasitoid pyrgotidae flies. - If April showers bring May flowers... I'm on track to get 2 flowers next month.
- If April showers bring May flowers, what does April snow bring? Incredulous Facebook posts about the arrival of spring.
Hilarious Showers Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about showers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean taking a bath jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make showers pranks.
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What's the difference between a hockey team and a Russian woman?
The hockey team showers after three periods.
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What's the difference between a hockey team and a New Jersey h**...?
A hockey team showers after 3 periods.
A polite German who never showers walks into a cathouse...
...and does his buisness. All the women then commented on how he had quite a "grüß dich."
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A man comes into jail the first time in life...
On the first day in the shower a huge hairy guy full of muscles comes out of the fog right to him :"You're my new wife now. Let's get it on."
The man looks all around but theres nobody who'll help him and he surrenders in fear of what might come.
"With or without spit?" asks the big hairy man. The first-timer answered "When I have to: with spit" The big man turns around and yells into the showers: "Yo Spit, he says you can come too."
I take a lot of showers.
Nobody's caught me yet.
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Was my French teacher into golden showers?
Oui.
Courtesy of Stewart Francis.
Why did the meteorologist bring a bar of soap to work?
He was expecting showers.
Where does Lenin take his showers?
Behind the Iron Curtain!
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I was expelled from school for m**... in the showers
The teachers said I ruined the trip to Auschwitz
How good are the showers at Auschwitz?
They're to die for.
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I like my showers like I like my women
Hot, wet and finished in 20 minutes.
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Why do people not take showers?!
Because theft is i**....
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If I can use dollar bills to make it rain, are dollar coins golden showers?
PC gamers don't take hot showers.
They take Steam-y ones.
Why do astronomers eat steak before skywatching?
They're hoping for meatier showers
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German engineering isn't that good...
...showers in the camps didn't even work!
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I like my women how I like my showers...
Cold, crying and alone.
I like my women like I like my showers.
I can pee in them.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
King Midas doesn't like baths
He likes golden showers.
Why don't they have showers on airplanes?
Because of the towel ban.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an Anglican who has a f**... for golden showers?
An E-**p**...**-copalian!
Did you know the government puts ground beef in the chem trails?
That explains the meatier showers.
A woman was having a shower
When the doorbell rang.
"It's me, the blind man."
And she didn't open the door because she has public decency and doesn't stop her showers for strangers.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A friend of mine got caught m**... in the showers.
It completely ruined our class trip to Auschwitz.
A German and a Frenchman walk into a bar.
After buying the German a beer, the Frenchman asks where his is from.
"Auschwitz," the German replies.
"Is it weird living there, especially with its history?" The Frenchman asks.
"Yes, but the services are incredible."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. Cheap gas and free showers."
What's the difference between the Trump Hotel and the Moscow Ritz-Carlton?
The Trump Hotel has golden windows on the outside, but the Ritz-Carlton has golden showers in your room.
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Why don't ISIS members take showers?
Because they enjoy bath bombs
Democrats: "The rains are God crying about Trump's inauguration"....
Republicans: "The storms are why there was such low turnout."
Trump: "The showers remind me of when I was in Russia."
How does Princess Leia like her showers?
Lukewarm.
Why is Trump so keen to stay with the queen in the UK?
He heard she has golden bathrooms and can't wait to try out the showers.
I'm addicted to taking showers...
..I've been trying to get clean for years now.
Why does Dustin Hoffman like taking showers?
Cuz it's like rain, man!
Before our first child, I took showers for granted
now I don't take showers at all.
Taking cold showers in the morning is a great way to become an optimist.
The rest of your day literally could not be any worse.
What do Golden Knights do after their games?
Take golden showers
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What do you call a s**... club for g**...?
Communal showers.
This weather forecast extinguished my hope for a good day. They predicted 20% showers...
and 80% bathtubs.
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Why do native Americans hate April?
Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
I'm proud to say I've been clean for one year.
But all these showers aren't helping me quit smoking crack.
April showers bring Mayflowers, but what do Mayflowers bring?
The Baltimore Colts to Indianapolis.
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How rich is the President?
Rich enough to get golden showers.
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Is my French girlfriend fond of golden showers?
Oui...
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Why should you take regular showers?
Because you might get so oily, America invades you.
TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths
But as time advanced they moved onto meteor showers.
Why do people run from the rain but love taking showers?
Consent.
How do you get Donald Trump to visit a memorial in the rain?
Tell him the forecasts predict golden showers.
I founded a club for growers not showers
It started out small, but our members are increasing in size every day.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How would the n**... have killed the dinosaurs?
With meteor showers.
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What did h**... say to the national football team after they lost the final?
Get in the showers!
So my brother has been taking rill good care of his hair
After his hour long showers all my conditioner is gone
Why aren't bathtubs good at gardening?
Because they're showers not growers.
What do Trump and R. Kelly have in common?
Golden Showers.
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What do the Frey and public golden showers have in common?
Everyone knows u**... over your head
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What do you call a pirate that likes golden showers?
ARRRRRRRRR Kelly
Apparently all the bathroom fixtures in the Whitehouse are now gold.
I just heard the President likes gold in showers.
With being a hippie, it's not that we don't take showers, it's just we don't use soap
We'd lather not
Todays weather forecast…
S
O
e
S
H
W R
Scattered showers
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman once asked me about golden showers.
u**... over your head, I replied.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Let's Not Make Jokes About Golden Showers, Alright?
They're p**...-pour.
How do you refer to a sponge that doesn't want to have anything to do with showers or baths?
Aloofa.
What's the difference a hockey player and a hippie chick?
A hockey player showers after three periods
A farmer complained to me men of his profession had a tough time attracting women.
My buddy's a car showroom salesman and he says him and his work buddies can't keep them away! I just don't get it.
That's life, I said, fact is, a lot of women simply prefer showers over growers.
