Showered Jokes
40 showered jokes and hilarious showered puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about showered that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Showered Short Jokes
Short showered jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The showered humour may include short showering jokes also.
- Joke from my 8 year old daughter for Halloween. Why didn't the ghost like to take showers?
Because it would dampen his spirits. - Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
- My girlfriend tried to take a selfie in the shower, but it was too blurry. She has selfie steam issues.
- Why do native Americans hate April? Because April showers bring May flowers and Mayflowers bring white people
- What is the difference between a feminist and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after three periods!^I^will^see^myself^out^now
- I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19. If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.
- A programmer got stuck in the shower because... The instructions on the shampoo bottle said-
"Lather, Rinse, Repeat." - I took ten photos of myself in the shower, but hated them all. Turns out I have selfie-steam issues
- If mcdonalds sold fancy steaks they'd call them Filet Mc'gnons ...also it's my 5 year cake day so shower me in internet points or however this works I dunno. Thanks!
- TIL that at age 13 Jewish girls have a bat Mitzvah and at age 15 Latina girls have a... Baby shower.
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Showered One Liners
Which showered one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with showered? I can suggest the ones about bathe and washed.
- If April showers bring May flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Genocide
- After my ex died, I couldn't shower alone for 10 years But I'm out of prison now
- I have bathed in the blood of virgins! I had a nosebleed in the shower.
- When my wife died I couldn't shower alone for 12 years. But I'm out of prison now!
- My wife asked me to please quit singing Wonderwall in the shower I said maybe.
- I don't want to brag, but when I take my clothes off... the shower gets turned on.
- A bald guy slipped in the shower Fell on his head and slipped again.
- Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
- If April Showers bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring? Smallpox.
- Who cares if you pee in the shower? The bride and all her guests, apparently.
- What kind of tree does a chicken grow on? A poultry.
(came up with that in the shower) - Why do Indigenous people hate April? Because April showers bring Mayflowers
- Why do German shower faucets have 11 holes? Jews only have 10 fingers.
- What did Shakespeare call his shower McBath
- Nice guys don't finish last.. They finish alone in the shower.
Uplifting Showered Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about showered you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean taking bath jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make showered pranks.
I'm 60 days clean now.
It's been hard showering every day, but thankfully I had h**... to help me through it.
Hey Eugene, do you shower after s**...?
Well yes Bob, I do.
Great, can you please get laid more often?
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."
My house was robbed last night. The burglars took everything except my soap, shower gel, towels, toothpaste, and mouthwash.
Dirty b**....
I've been clean for 47 days now.
It's weird showering everyday but at least I have the h**... to get through it.
A man murdered his wife and was sentenced to death.
There was a crowd waiting around the gallows to watch. As the hangman put the noose around his neck, he was asked, Do you have any last words?
The m**... said, Yeah, I have a joke that I came up with while I was waiting.
So, I hadn't showered for a week by the day I killed my wife. I tied her up and told her that I'd cut her apart while she was still alive, and she told me, 'At least cut my nose off first.'
Everyone there burst out laughing. The hangman said, That joke was about something terrible! Why was it so funny?
Well, I believe you can make a joke about any topic funny, said the m**.... After all, good comedy is all about execution.
I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.
1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day
Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears.
"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.
The first dinosaur thinks hard.
"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."
Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appears in front of him.
Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur thinks even harder.
"I know! I'll have a shower of meat!"
Immediately, huge pieces of meat rain down around him.
The third dinosaur, certainly not to be outdone, thinks harder than the previous dinosaurs.
"I've got it!" he cries, "I want a MEATIER shower!"
My boss, who is a fit woman, caught me in the shower room after work.
She said to me "Would you mind taking my blouse off?"
I replied, "Certainly," and took it off.
Then she turned around and said, "Would you take my skirt off too?" So I removed that as well.
Then she finally asked me to take her underwear off, so I did that too.
Then she looked at me and said, "If I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you're fired"
Do not shampoo in the shower
I don't know why I didn't figure this out sooner.
I used shampoo in the shower and when we wash our hair the shampoo runs down our whole body.
Printed clearly on the shampoo label is the warning,
"For extra body and volume."
No wonder I have been gaining weight.
I got rid of shampoos and start using dish washing liquid. Its label reads
"Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."
Follow this and stay slim and trim forever.
Two guys in a communal shower...
Guy1: You wanna play the r**... game?
Guy2: No.
Guy1: That's the spirit!!
My girlfriend gave me a h**... using Vaseline the other day.
I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.
When I get n**... in the bathroom..
The shower usually gets turned on.
I've been clean for 45 days now
It's been tough taking a shower everyday, but at least I have the h**... to help me get throught it.
