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Shovel Jokes

137 shovel jokes and hilarious shovel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shovel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

These shovel jokes offer a chance to lighten up the mood! Whether you need to clear snow with a snow shovel, scoop dirt with a dustpan, or help with a groundbreaking ceremony, these shovel-themed jokes are sure to make everyone smile. There are even jokes about snowplows to keep you laughing through the winter months.

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Funniest Shovel Short Jokes

Short shovel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shovel humour may include short plow jokes also.

  1. My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died. Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
  2. The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom swept the nation.
  3. My ex girlfriend was an absolute treasure I say this because just like treasure, you'll probably need a map and a shovel to find her
  4. Do you know how to confuse a coal miner? Show him a row of shovels and tell him to take his pick.
  5. I got fired from PC World today. A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.
    Probably a shovel was not the right answer.
  6. Dad: What has 4 legs and isn't alive? Me: You can't fool me dad! Its a chair!
    Dad: Not this time son. Get a shovel, the dog's dead
  7. Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids? Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
  8. When you think of it, invention of the shovel was groundbreaking But it was the invention of the broom that swept the nation.
  9. Did you hear the department of transportation is laying off thousands of workers? They invented a shovel that stands up by itself.
  10. I like my shovels like I like my women.. I like my shovels like I like my women.
    Sturdy. Dependable. Can help me bury a body.

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Shovel One Liners

Which shovel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shovel? I can suggest the ones about snow plow and sledgehammer.

  1. Have you heard of the new thing called a shovel? It's groundbreaking.
  2. How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowplow? Give her a shovel
  3. Do y'all have any jokes about shovels? I really dig those types of jokes.
  4. My family is like treasure You need a map, and a shovel to find them.
  5. The shovel was such a great invention. It was truly groundbreaking.
  6. Sometimes I find myself just marveling at shovels. What a groundbreaking invention.
  7. How to turn your dishwasher into a snowblower. Hand her a shovel!
  8. Did you hear? They invented a new shovel! It's ground breaking!
  9. Have you ever heard of the invention of the shovel? It was ground breaking.
  10. What was the most ground-breaking invention in human history? The shovel
  11. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
  12. What does a necrophiliac bring to the first date with a girl? A shovel.
  13. How do you stop kids swinging on the clothes line? With a shovel
  14. How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.
  15. The shovel. The discovery of the shovel was a truly groundbreaking moment for humankind.

Snow Shovel Jokes

Here is a list of funny snow shovel jokes and even better snow shovel puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It snowed overnight. I told my wife to go outside and shovel the steps. All I got was icy stares.
  • I was out shoveling snow with my kid the other day... He kept whining about why I wasn't using the shovel.
  • I'm so glad it isn't snowing right now. I'd hate to shovel snow in that heat.
  • My plan was to skip shoveling and just let the snow melt. It wasnt well thawed out.
  • "Shoveling snow is great exercise" \- Satan
  • With all the blizzard news here's a winter joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower? You give her a shovel!
  • I don't like shoveling my driveway for snow because He who dealt it, should melt it.
  • While everyone is arguing over whether it's called a snow blower or a snow thrower, I invented a way to turn a dishwasher into snow removal device. ...
    I bought my wife a snow shovel.
  • Sexist Joke: How do you convert a dish washer into a snow blower? Give her a shovel.
  • I got really upset when I noticed my wife shovelling snow in the freezing cold But then I just closed the blinds.
Shovel joke, I got really upset when I noticed my wife shovelling snow in the freezing cold

Rib-Tickling Shovel Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about shovel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean snowblower jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shovel pranks.

Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel...

Ground Breaking Stuff.

A construction site worker told his boss

"Boss, the shovel broke ! What should i do now?" to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"

Why did king Midas suddenly drop his shovel?

It became a gold digger.

How do you kill 50 flies in one hit?

Slam a Somalian child in the face with a shovel

name puns! add to the list

what do you call a man:
-with a shovel?
-Doug
-without a shovel?
-Douglas
-in the bushes?
-Russel
-floating in the ocean?
-Bob
-with a gun?
-sir.
What do you call a woman:
-with one leg?
-Eileen

What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight?

Can we just bury this?

How come Smokey the Bear doesn't have any children?

Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel.

My mom comes up to me and says "I'm can do a magic trick"

I go, "Really? What's you magic trick?"
and my mom says she can turn a dishwasher into a snow blower.
"I can't wait to see this!" I said
So she hands me a shovel.

A farmer walks onto a field, shovel in hand and starts digging long canals. The field groans and says to the farmer..

You're really irrigating me

I tried to fix my shovel today,

but I just couldn't handle it.

What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

Shovels are incredible

They're ground-breaking technology!

Father and young son walking deep into the woods at night carrying a lantern and a shovel

Son says "Dad it's creepy out here, I'm scared"
Father replies "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk back alone!"

One time there was an Irishman who got so drunk

He kissed his wife and beat the Pope's foot to a pulp with a coal shovel

What's more fun than swinging an infant over your head with a rope as fast as you can?

Stopping it with a shovel

Jim and Joe are digging a ditch...

They've been at it for weeks. Every morning they arrive with their shovel and get to digging. One day, Jim arrives with nothing but a stick.
"Where's your shovel?" Joe asks.
"Sure does!" Jim replies.

dead baby jokes

Q. whats more fun than spinning a dead baby around at 50mph?
A. stopping it with a shovel.

My grandad let me in on the secret to picking up hot Jewish girls during WWII..

with a brush and shovel..

What does the Farmer say when he is searching his shovel ?

Where is my shovel ?

Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have s**... with his wife?

Because whenever She gets hot, he hits her with a shovel.

I think that homeless children should get coal for Christmas...

We need to keep them warm enough to shovel our driveways!

Why did I need to bring a shovel on my first date?

Clearly the chloroform wasn't enough.

Did you hear about the guy who lost his shovel?

His name was Douglas

The person who made the shovel should receive an award

It was groundbreaking work.

How do you stop a mole from digging?

Take his shovel away

Why can't Smokey the Bear have s**...?

Every time his wife gets hot, he beats her out with a shovel.

How do you catch a polar bear with a shovel and a can of peas?

Dig a hole in the ice. Put peas all around the hole and wait.
When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.

What do you call a guy with a shovel in his head?

Doug.

the invention of the shovel was ground breaking (short)

the invention of the shovel was ground breaking.
but the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation.
- Scratch Farrell

I told my wife that it was her turn to shovel and salt the front steps.

All I got were Icy Stares.

What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?

It is ground breaking!

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug
What do you call the same man without a shovel in his head?
Dougless

Whats more fun than spinning a baby around on a clothesline?

Stopping it with a shovel ;;)

I turned my dishwasher into a snowblower...

...gave my wife a shovel

What did the inventor of the shovel say about it?

"This is Groundbreaking!"

A boy with swollen cheek.

Mom looks at her son and asks "What happened Timmy?".
Tim replies "A fly landed on my face in the garden.".
"Did it bite you?" asks mom.
"No, dad killed it with a shovel." says Tim.

When you think about it

The shovel was truly groundbreaking

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Doug

We have to bury my dog today.

Mom: Don't be sad. All dogs go to heaven.
Me: Thanks mom. Where does updog go?
Mom: What's up dog?
Me: Not much dog. Just looking for a shovel.

Two Blondes were working down the road from a mans house.

One blonde (who was n**...) would take a shovel and dig a hole about 3-4 feet deep.
The second blonde (who didn't like cats) would then take the shovel and then put the dirt back in the hole.
They did this for about 4 hours on 6 different spots.
The man (who was left handed) was quite curious and went to the blondes and asked them what they were doing.
"There's usually another blonde who plants the tree but shes sick today"

Graveyards are great places to get laid

Especially if you have a shovel and a can do attitude!

In 2 words describe the invention on a shovel

Ground Breaking

The American dream:

To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$
My dad told me this one

Two miners walk out of the mine after a hard days work, one carrying a shovel and the other a stick. The one carrying the shovel turns and asks, "Where's your shovel?"

And the other responds, "sure does".

What do you call a guy with a shovel?

Doug
What do you call a guy without a shovel?
Douglass

Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when

the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"
Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"
The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"
As Nancy used her shovel to pat down the last heap of earth she replied, "Well he's in your cat"

Today I learned about Harvey E. Brown, a civil war surgeon who had so many amputations he ran out of fake legs and had to use a shovel.

It was a ground-breaking medical procedure.

My brother is in the ER right now because of a bee sting that swelled his head,

Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with a shovel.

What's better than swinging a dead baby in circles around your head on a 5 ft rope?

stopping it with a shovel.

Two miners walk out of the mine after a long day, one holding a shovel, the other a stick. One turns to the other and asks, Wears your shovel?

And the other responded, Sure does.

How do you confuse a Polish labourer?

Lay down an axe and a shovel and tell him to take his pick.

What do you call a man with a shovel?

Doug

What did the inventor say when he invented the shovel?

It's ground breaking.

Why was the shovel regarded as one of the most creative inventions?

Because it was ground breaking.

My city just fired half of the city's construction workers...

Apparently they realized a shovel can stand-up on it's own.

I can't stop my dog from digging in the garden.

I guess in the end I'll have to take the shovel from him.

What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador?????????????

A hot diggity Dog.

Shovels were a ground breaking invention...

But dumbbells were an uplifting one.

Come to think of it the invention of the shovel was pretty important...

Some would even say it was groundbreaking

So what is your favorite groundbreaking invention?

Mine is the shovel......

Shovel joke, So what is your favorite groundbreaking invention?

jokes about shovel