The Best 49 Shove Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Shove jokes. There are some shove propel jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these shove asses puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Shove Jokes and Puns

What do you get when you shove an iPhone into a blender?

Apple Sauce

What did one shovel say to the other during a recurring fight?

Can we just bury this?

So Bob Dole was asking Clinton for advice about women...

Bob whines "I just can't seem to get any women, and you always have more than you can handle. Gimme some pointers!"
Bill tells him "Hey, just shove a potato down in your pants, it works for me!"
A few days later, they meet again. "Hey, Bill, I took your advice, and the women seem to avoid me more than ever!"
Bill looks down, and says "You're supposed to put the potato in the *front* of your pants!"

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

jokes about shove

What should you do when push comes to shove?

Learn to read. The door says "pull".


Animal smugglers

A man wants to smuggle a snake and a skunk through customs. The wife says to her husband "how are we going to get them through?'. Hubby replies "I'll tie the snake around my waist and you shove the skunk up your skirt". "But what about the smell?" she says to which he responds "Well if it dies, it dies…"

What do you call it when you soak a thumbdrive in vodka and shove it up your keister...

an upload.

Shove joke, What do you call it when you soak a thumbdrive in vodka and shove it up your keister...

What is Santa's motto?

Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.

My wife recently started snoring, so I decided to use earplugs.

but I can only get one in before she wakes up, turns out she doesn't like it when I shove earplugs in her nose.

Shovels are incredible

They're ground-breaking technology!

Do you think Hitler got his inspiration from Hansel and Gretel?

They did shove a long nosed witch into an oven.

You can explore shove ass reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean shove stick dad jokes. There are also shove puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I knew I could convince my wife to get an Abortion...

All she needed was a shove in the right direction... and a set of stairs.

What do Catholic priests and religion have in common?

They both try to shove something down your throat.

Donald trump and a slinky have a lot in common...

They are both useless piles of garbage but they'll put a smile on your face if you shove them down the stairs.

What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat?

Her miscarriage.

"Shoveling snow is great exercise"

\- Satan

Shove joke, "Shoveling snow is great exercise"

When push comes to shove.....

You're delivering the baby wrong.

What's the difference between a car and a woman?

A car doesn't mind when you shove a hose in its gas hole.

I bought some cherry lube the other day but I didn't end up using it.

Turns out cherries are already pretty easy to shove up your arsehole as they are.


When you think about it

The shovel was truly groundbreaking

Why would somebody write the letters of the alphabet on a bunch of dice and shove them up their nose?

It's mind-boggling!

Thought I would do something admirable this holiday season and donate a kidney

but I got nothing but grief from the Salvation Army bell ringer who's bucket I was trying to shove it in

My wife yells at me when I go to the bathroom in the shower...

I don't know what her problem is - I shove it down the drain with a stick.

I like my shovels like I like my women..

I like my shovels like I like my women.

Sturdy. Dependable. Can help me bury a body.

What is the gayest animal in the world?

A squirrel. They go through their whole life finding nuts to bust or to shove in their mouth.

The shovel.

The discovery of the shovel was a truly groundbreaking moment for humankind.

Shove joke, The shovel.

Why was the shovel regarded as one of the most creative inventions?

Because it was ground breaking.

Limerick

There was a young girl named Sapphire

Who succumbed to her lover's desire.

She said, "It's a sin,

But now that it's in,

Could you shove it a few inches higher?

What are people who shove needles in you and give you pills to make you feel good?

Doctors.


Shovels were a ground breaking invention...

But dumbbells were an uplifting one.

So, if terrorists had kids...

Would they say Here comes the Airplane! and just shove the spoon around the child's face?

I don't like shoveling my driveway for snow because

He who dealt it, should melt it.

I was out shoveling snow with my kid the other day...

He kept whining about why I wasn't using the shovel.

Aziz Ansari really isn't that funny...

...it's like he's trying to shove the jokes down your throat.


Why do shovels hate digging up metal?

Because of the irony

Sorry I guess you couldn't handle the joke

I'm gonna dig up some more

I'll spade you of any more puns

If you couldn't sit through that you're a tool

(Please don't steel this joke it took me a long time to come up with it (credit to u/ImToastedBruh for the steel part))

There once was a washing machine that loved washing stuff he found...

He would find ANYTHING on the ground, forcefully shove it inside him, clean it, and take it out. One day he found some money on the ground and did his usual routine before being apprehended by the FBI. He was arrested for Money Laundering.

I was painting a ladies deck and noticed she had some carpenter bee damage.

She nearly slapped me when I offered to make the necessary repairs. I suppose I shouldn't have asked her if she wanted me to shove some caulk in her bee holes

PresidentTrump is completely right about coronavirus treatment.

If you eat chloroquine phosphate, drink a pint of Chlorox, shoot-up rubbing alcohol, shove a flashlight up your ass, and crash on a tanning bed, you will never get Covid-19.

My shovel had a gambling addiction.

I had to stop him before he dug himself a deeper hole.

Do you know what was said about the shovel when it was invented?

Now that's groundbreaking idea!

My mom told me this joke

Donald and Tommy walk into a wedding.

Everyone brings amazing gifts for the couple.

Donald brings a peanut as his gift.

The couple finds this offensive and decides to shove the peanut up Donald's ass.

But then Donald starts laughing.

The couple asks him why he is doing this.

He says 'Tommy brought a coconut for you guys'.



Disclaimer: I replaced the names in this jokes as if I had kept the same names a lot of you might find this offensive.

Adam walks into a cafe and orders tea

Adam ordered a cup of tea in a cafe.

So, a waiter brought it for him but dipped his fingers in it.

Adam asked "Hey moron, why are you dipping your fingers in my tea?"

The waiter replied, "My finger is injured and the doctor advised me to keep it warm."

Adam said, "Then shove it up your ass!"

Then the waiter said, "Yeah, that's where I keep it when I am not carrying tea"

The shovel was such a great invention.

It was truly groundbreaking.

An old joke I once heard from a friend, never fails to crack me up

A homeless man finds a shiny lamp by the road while trying to find a place to pass the night.

Picking it up, the man was just about to shove it in his bag when a genie appeared out of it.

"I can grant you one wish." Said the genie.

Not wanting to waste the wish, the man spent much time to think of the best wish.

"I want an apartment, make it a big one and make sure it's in downtown." The man said.

The genie shook his head.

"I can't fulfill that wish."

The man was disappointed. "I thought you were supposed to be able to do anything!"

The genie simply said: "Do you think I would be living in this lamp if I could afford a place of my own?"

A little girl in her Sunday best was running...

A little girl in her Sunday best was running as fast as she could to get to Sunday school on time. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late. Dear Lord, please don't let me be late." At that moment she tripped and fell getting her clothes all dirty. She got up, brushed herself off and started running again, praying... "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late, but don't shove me anymore!"

Always read the package insert

"Doc, the suppository you prescribed... they really stuck to my gum and teeth".

"What? You didn't swallow them, did you?"

"Of course I did, what else was I supposed to do with them, shove 'em up my ass?"

The Captain's Drink

Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar.
Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick."
The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?"
Hook yells, "Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!"
America turns to Crunch, "Why's he suddenly "irate"?
Crunch says, "Well, that's what happens when you take the P out of a pirate"

A man summons a genie from a lamp

The genie says he'll grant 3 wishes.The man's first wish is for infinite wishes.Well the genie tells the man that he can't wish for more wishes.So the man wishes for an umbrella.The genie does so and then ask Why do you need an umbrella? .The man then says Now shove it up your ass . With a painful groan the genie does so.He then says Okay weirdo,what next? . The man then says Now give me more wishes before I make you open the umbrella

The trick to swallowing is to shove it all the way in your throat since there are no taste buds back there.

My mother's cooking is terrible.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the shove rectum jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working shove blueberries piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes