The Best 70 Shout Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Shout jokes. There are some shout flaps jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these shout holla puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Shout Jokes and Puns

A little joke my 9 year old brother told me

Timmy(brother): Hey Shane, how do you sell a chicken to a deaf person?
Me(Shane): How timmy?
He then proceeds to shout in my face, taking me off-guard
Timmy: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How to anger Lord of the Rings fans?

When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"

I heard a swimmer shout "Help shark help!!

I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn't going to help him!

Shout joke, I heard a swimmer shout "Help shark help!!

A man is spending his first night in prison...

He's laying in his bunk when the lights go out. After a few minutes, he hears someone shout, "13!" followed by a chorus of laughter.
Another few minutes go by and he hears, "27!" followed by more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asks his cell mate.
"Well, we've heard the same jokes so many times, we just gave them all numbers so we don't have to waste time repeating them."
A little more time passes and then someone erupts, "34!" to a few guffaws.
The man decides to try and join in by yelling, "19!"
He is greeted by silence. He asks his bunkmate, "Why didn't they laugh?"
His bunkmate replies, "You didn't tell it right."

The captain and the prostitute

A captain of the army goes to a prostitute and asks her :
"Say, madam, for a hundred dollars, would you accept my company ?"
And the prostitute answers : "Of course, a handsome military like you"
The captains thanks her, turns around and shout :
"Company, FORWARD !"

(I hope the joke translates well)


I finally know what women want...

...security.
....
....
....
I know because that is what they shout whenever I try and approach.

Bahdumtish
(Joke courtesy of my bf's father)

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Shout joke, What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

I was in the queue at Starbucks this morning.

The man getting served in front of me, asked for a mocha. "Sorry sir, but we're out of mochas". The guy was fuming "I have a mocha every morning when I come in here!", he raged, "I'll just have to have a latte!". He went and sat down.

I went to the counter and said "I'll have a large latte too, please". They asked me for my name. I asked why they needed it and they told me that they'd write it on my cup and shout it when it was ready.

So I told them my name was Mocha.

Shout out to my arms for always being by my side...

& my legs for being there every step of the way

Shout out to anyone who is wondering what the opposite of in is.

Four more years is a great thing to shout at a president running for reelection...

But not so good to shout at a 14 year old girl.

You can explore shout whoop reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean shout crowd dad jokes. There are also shout puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Guy joins the Army...

... but they are out of bayonets and ammo. They tell him to run into battle yelling "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!"

Much to his surprise, enemy soldiers are dropping all around him.

Then, this really big enemy comes over the hill. The guy yells, "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!", but the enemy keeps advancing and mows him down. As the enemy walks over him, he hears him shout, "Tankitty tankitty tank!"

Wife comes home and finds her husband sipping coffee with another woman

She starts swearing at her husband immediatelly.

He stops her: 'Don't shout at me, this woman has come to see you.'

'Me? You cheating liar, I don't know her at all!'

'OK, let me introduce you then. This is Carol, wife of your lover…'

Shout out to my student loan for getting me through college.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.

When I get a dog I am going to name it syndrome

Because when he jumps up on me I can shout "Down syndrome"

'It's a boy!', I shouted.....

.. and at that moment, I regretted visiting a Thai brothel.

Shout joke, 'It's a boy!', I shouted.....

I have 10 sons and 2 daughters, and I gave the same name to all of them, Jamie...

...It's quite practical, she said, if I need to wake them up I just shout "wake up Jamie!". If I need them to eat I just say "Jamie! Dear, dinner is ready!". They all obey simultaneously.

The interviewer asks "So how do you refer to them when you need to speak to one of them specifically?"

Easy - she replied - I call them by their lastname!

Sometimes when I give money to homeless people, bystanders shout "Why bother? They're only going to buy drugs or alcohol with it!"...

oh, like I wasn't?!

Three priests walk into a bar

and see a man whos already had a few drinks. The man walks up to them and says "you know I'm jesus christ". One of the priests replies "I don't think you are son" so the man says right, I'll prove it to you. He walks out of the bar and a few seconds later comes stumbling back in. The barman sees him and shout "jesus christ not you again"


A couple of men in prison were telling each other jokes

After telling them so many times to each other they started referring to them as numbers. Someone would shout "45!" and they'd all start laughing. One day a new inmate arrived. He never understood why they laughed everytime someone said a number, so he just laughed along. After a week or so he decided it was his turn to try, so he shouted "345!" and to his luck, everyone laughed like never before because they hadn't heard that one before.

So, a stutterer was a wedding

He stand's up and says:

-hip, hip

And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised:

-HURRAY

The stutterer, tried again, but louder

-HIP!! HIP!!

Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!

-HUURRAAAAY!!!!!

The stutterer, again, yelled with both arms raised!!

-HIIPPPP !! HIPPP!!!

Everyone on the party became one, all the happiness expressed with one single shout!

-HURRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

But then, everyone was killed by a herd of ~~hippopotamus~~ Hippopotamuses

How do you separate two blind people fighting?

You just simply shout:
"I'm supporting the one with the knife!"

An American, an Irishman, and a Frenchman all go into a bar

They each order one beer from the barkeep, and shortly after he returns with their beers, a fly lands in each of their beers. The Frenchman cries out in disgust and demands a new beer. The American picks the fly out of his drink and starts to sip at his beer. The Irishman picks the fly out and starts to shout Spit it out!!"

I saw some guy stealing a gate last night...

I thought not to shout at him cuz he might take a fence.

Shout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity.

You know who you are.

Shout-out to my grandma

Because that's the only way she can hear me.

A police officer pulls someone over

The officer asks the man "What's in the bottle sir?"

"It's just water!" replies the man.

"Sir this is clearly alcohol." says the police officer, clearly able to smell the contents of the bottle.

The very obviously drunk man begins to shout "Praise the Lord and his miracles!"

The bodyguards of the POTUS used to shout "Get down, Mr. president!" during assassination attempts

Now they just say "Donald, duck"

Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds

I have my first shift on Monday.

I'D LIKE TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT OUT TO LIBRARIANS!

oh... sorry...

Old genie joke...

Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. One day, they find an old lamp. On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish.

"I wish to return to my old life!" Two of the men shout, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here."

A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.

Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"

"I know what you have been sucking on"

My nephew has a habit of sucking his thumb, so i had a brilliant idea to make him stop. I told him people that suck their thumbs become fat.

At the store yesterday however, we ran across a pregnant lady and he had the great idea to shout "I know what you have been sucking on" in the middle of the store.

Dj Khaled is like a Pokemon

All he does is shout his name

Shoutout to my grandpa

That's the only way he can hear

Shout out to my spinal cord

For always having my back

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde visit a magical bridge.

The sign reads "Magical bridge: Jump off the bridge and shout out what you want to land in and so it shall be."

The brunette goes first, she climbs on the rail, jumps off and yells "Pillows!" She lands safe and sound in a pile of pillows.

The redhead jumps next. " Hundred dollar bills!" She yells and lands in a huge pile of money.

The blonde goes last. She climbs up, jumps off and gets scared. She yells "Oh shiiiiiiiit!"

What did the bodybuilder shout when he found out he was out of protein?

No whey!

I saw that show, "50 Things To Do Before You Die"...

I would have thought the most obvious one was "shout for help"

~ *Jimmy Carr*

A feminist has just stolen my garden gate

I was going to shout at her but I thought she might take a fence

My parents got an Amazon Echo for Christmas and all they do is shout at it and get disappointed by all it can't do.

I've been replaced by Alexa and it's great.

Paddy was at the doctor's office the other day..

He said to the doctor "Doc, I'm half deaf all of a sudden. I'm having trouble hearing."

The doctor replied "Right, we'll test if you're half deaf or not. Go out and stand in the room at the end of the hall and I'll shout a number and if you can hear it, shout it back."

Paddy walked out and into the room.

The doctor shouted "88!"

Paddy replied "44!"

A lawyer was travelling in an almost empty train.

A lady approaches him and says "Put everything you have in this bag or I'll shout that you are molesting me." The lawyer signals that he is deaf and mute and asks her to write what she just said on a paper. She does so. He smiles and keeps the paper in his bag and says "Now do whatever you want!"

I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"

The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"

How do you break up a fight between two blind men?

Shout "My money's on the one with the knife!"

A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..

Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"

Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."

Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"

Girl on skates.

The ice was thin.
Then it broke and she fell right in.

The boy on the bank heard her shout.
He jumped right in and helped her out.

Now they're married.
Very nice.
All she had to do
was break the ice.

Shout out to those who don't know the opposite of in.

They need the help.

They say the value of something increases when you shout it out...

5 = 5
5! = 120

An American and a German are discussing freedom of speech.

The German says:

>Here in Germany, contrary to what a lot of you Americans think, we do have freedom of speech. Everyone here hates Putin, but I could walk right up to the Bundestag and proclaim: "I love Vladimir Putin!" And I wouldn't even be arrested!

The American replies:

>Ah, yes, but in the USA we're even freer. I could walk right up to the White House and shout "I love Vladimir Putin"... and they'd let me in!

What did the Urologist shout when she made a medical breakthrough?

URETHRA!!!

Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.

The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:

'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"

"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.

Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:

'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"

The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"

The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:

'MY GOD!'"

I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"

.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.

Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!

The president is walking out of the White House towards his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims his gun.

A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse?

Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. I meant to shout...... Donald, duck!

It's just the worst thing ever when you shout the wrong name during sex.

I accidentally shouted out my sister's name last week…

My mum was not happy!

Did you know spiders go deaf if they have no legs?

Well it's true and here's why.

When I was a child I had a pet a spider. It was great I even trained him to jump. 'Jump' I'd shout and with a boing he'd leap into the air.

Well my brother saw this and in a jealous rage he pulled the spiders legs off!

I was heartbroken. 'Jump' I'd shout and the spider would just sit there. Not only had he lost his legs, he'd gone deaf too.

A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.

How do you get nine grandmas to swear?

Make the tenth one shout "bingo!"

One day a Soviet Party member is walking through red square when he hears a man shout down with the tyrant with the mustache.

Immediately the party member drags the man to Stalin and explains what he said. Stalin, furious asks: why did you say that? The man replies he was talking about Hitler. Stalin understands and sends the man on his way. The party member is about to go as well but is stopped by Stalin and asked: which mustached tyrant were you thinking of when you dragged the man here?

Shout out to my fingers

I could always count on them.

I went to the dentist to put all caps on my teeth...

...now I can't help but shout every time I talk.

An American and a Russian were talking in a bar

The American began to boast about his country, claiming it's the land of the free.

"I could walk straight up to the White House and shout "Death to the American President" and nothing happens to me."

Hearing this the Russian smirked

"I too can walk up to the Kremlin and shout " Death to the American President", nothing bad happens to me either"

I used to be a body guard for Donald Trump

One day, an assassination attempt took place, and when the man tried to shoot, I shouted "Mickey Mouse!".

After the attempt, Trump asked why I shouted Mickey Mouse, to which I replied "sorry, I meant to shout 'Donald, Duck!'"

2020 was rough...

But a special shout out to dogs who had to experience it seven times.

A poem

In days of old

When Knights were bold

And toilet lights were dim

You'd hear a splash and then a shout

'Oh no! He's fallen in'

The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.

If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!

There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, Two thousand five hundred!

Someone shouts: Stupid Dad jokes are making the Earth an impossible place to live!

A Dad shouts back: Maybe you just need some Space.

Life is short, so tell someone that you love them.

But shout it at them in German, because life is also scary and confusing.

What did the young boy shout in the church while pointing finger guns?

pew pew pew

Fight with wife

Neighbour: Hey, your wife was shouting & fighting with you this morning and then suddenly she stopped, what did you tell her?


Husband: I told her that she should not shout too much taking advantage of her beauty, that would cause dark circles around her eyes.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the shout bellow jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working shout wail piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes