The Best 67 Shout Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Shout jokes. There are some shout flaps jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these shout shout out to puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Shout Jokes and Puns

A little joke my 9 year old brother told me

Timmy(brother): Hey Shane, how do you sell a chicken to a deaf person?
Me(Shane): How timmy?
He then proceeds to shout in my face, taking me off-guard
Timmy: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How to anger Lord of the Rings fans?

When you're watching The Two Towers and the ents are marching, shout "RUN, FOREST! RUN!"

I heard a swimmer shout "Help shark help!!

I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn't going to help him!

A man is spending his first night in prison...

He's laying in his bunk when the lights go out. After a few minutes, he hears someone shout, "13!" followed by a chorus of laughter.
Another few minutes go by and he hears, "27!" followed by more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asks his cell mate.
"Well, we've heard the same jokes so many times, we just gave them all numbers so we don't have to waste time repeating them."
A little more time passes and then someone erupts, "34!" to a few guffaws.
The man decides to try and join in by yelling, "19!"
He is greeted by silence. He asks his bunkmate, "Why didn't they laugh?"
His bunkmate replies, "You didn't tell it right."

jokes about shout

The captain and the prostitute

A captain of the army goes to a prostitute and asks her :
"Say, madam, for a hundred dollars, would you accept my company ?"
And the prostitute answers : "Of course, a handsome military like you"
The captains thanks her, turns around and shout :
"Company, FORWARD !"

(I hope the joke translates well)

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

I was in the queue at Starbucks this morning.

The man getting served in front of me, asked for a mocha. "Sorry sir, but we're out of mochas". The guy was fuming "I have a mocha every morning when I come in here!", he raged, "I'll just have to have a latte!". He went and sat down.

I went to the counter and said "I'll have a large latte too, please". They asked me for my name. I asked why they needed it and they told me that they'd write it on my cup and shout it when it was ready.

So I told them my name was Mocha.

Shout joke, I was in the queue at Starbucks this morning.

Shout out to my arms for always being by my side...

& my legs for being there every step of the way

Shout out to anyone who is wondering what the opposite of in is.

Four more years is a great thing to shout at a president running for reelection...

But not so good to shout at a 14 year old girl.

Guy joins the Army...

... but they are out of bayonets and ammo. They tell him to run into battle yelling "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!"

Much to his surprise, enemy soldiers are dropping all around him.

Then, this really big enemy comes over the hill. The guy yells, "Bangitty bangitty bang!!! "Stabbity stabbity stab!", but the enemy keeps advancing and mows him down. As the enemy walks over him, he hears him shout, "Tankitty tankitty tank!"

You can explore shout whoop reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean shout crowd dad jokes. There are also shout puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Wife comes home and finds her husband sipping coffee with another woman

She starts swearing at her husband immediatelly.

He stops her: 'Don't shout at me, this woman has come to see you.'

'Me? You cheating liar, I don't know her at all!'

'OK, let me introduce you then. This is Carol, wife of your lover…'

Shout out to my student loan for getting me through college.

I don't know how I'll ever be able to repay you.

When I get a dog I am going to name it syndrome

Because when he jumps up on me I can shout "Down syndrome"

'It's a boy!', I shouted.....

.. and at that moment, I regretted visiting a Thai brothel.

Sometimes when I give money to homeless people, bystanders shout "Why bother? They're only going to buy drugs or alcohol with it!"...

oh, like I wasn't?!

Shout joke, Sometimes when I give money to homeless people, bystanders shout "Why bother? They're only going to

Three priests walk into a bar

and see a man whos already had a few drinks. The man walks up to them and says "you know I'm jesus christ". One of the priests replies "I don't think you are son" so the man says right, I'll prove it to you. He walks out of the bar and a few seconds later comes stumbling back in. The barman sees him and shout "jesus christ not you again"

A couple of men in prison were telling each other jokes

After telling them so many times to each other they started referring to them as numbers. Someone would shout "45!" and they'd all start laughing. One day a new inmate arrived. He never understood why they laughed everytime someone said a number, so he just laughed along. After a week or so he decided it was his turn to try, so he shouted "345!" and to his luck, everyone laughed like never before because they hadn't heard that one before.

So, a stutterer was a wedding

He stand's up and says:

-hip, hip

And then everyone on the wedding party said with their glasses raised:

-HURRAY

The stutterer, tried again, but louder

-HIP!! HIP!!

Everyone raised their glasses again and shouted out of their lungs!

-HUURRAAAAY!!!!!

The stutterer, again, yelled with both arms raised!!

-HIIPPPP !! HIPPP!!!

Everyone on the party became one, all the happiness expressed with one single shout!

-HURRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

But then, everyone was killed by a herd of ~~hippopotamus~~ Hippopotamuses

I saw some guy stealing a gate last night...

I thought not to shout at him cuz he might take a fence.

Shout-out to everyone who is struggling with establishing their identity.

You know who you are.

Shout-out to my grandma

Because that's the only way she can hear me.

A police officer pulls someone over

The officer asks the man "What's in the bottle sir?"

"It's just water!" replies the man.

"Sir this is clearly alcohol." says the police officer, clearly able to smell the contents of the bottle.

The very obviously drunk man begins to shout "Praise the Lord and his miracles!"

The bodyguards of the POTUS used to shout "Get down, Mr. president!" during assassination attempts

Now they just say "Donald, duck"

Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds

I have my first shift on Monday.

I'D LIKE TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT OUT TO LIBRARIANS!

oh... sorry...

Shout joke, I'D LIKE TO GIVE A BIG SHOUT OUT TO LIBRARIANS!

Old genie joke...

Three men find themselves stranded on a deserted island. After several years, despite their differences, they become close friends out of necessity. One day, they find an old lamp. On rubbing it clean, they release a genie who grants them each one wish.

"I wish to return to my old life!" Two of the men shout, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

The third man, a little slow, looks around at the empty island. Overcome by loneliness, he mutters, "I wish my friends were here."

A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.

Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"

"I know what you have been sucking on"

My nephew has a habit of sucking his thumb, so i had a brilliant idea to make him stop. I told him people that suck their thumbs become fat.

At the store yesterday however, we ran across a pregnant lady and he had the great idea to shout "I know what you have been sucking on" in the middle of the store.

Dj Khaled is like a Pokemon

All he does is shout his name

Shoutout to my grandpa

That's the only way he can hear

Shout out to my spinal cord

For always having my back

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde visit a magical bridge.

The sign reads "Magical bridge: Jump off the bridge and shout out what you want to land in and so it shall be."

The brunette goes first, she climbs on the rail, jumps off and yells "Pillows!" She lands safe and sound in a pile of pillows.

The redhead jumps next. " Hundred dollar bills!" She yells and lands in a huge pile of money.

The blonde goes last. She climbs up, jumps off and gets scared. She yells "Oh shiiiiiiiit!"

What did the bodybuilder shout when he found out he was out of protein?

No whey!

I saw that show, "50 Things To Do Before You Die"...

I would have thought the most obvious one was "shout for help"

~ *Jimmy Carr*

A feminist has just stolen my garden gate

I was going to shout at her but I thought she might take a fence

Paddy was at the doctor's office the other day..

He said to the doctor "Doc, I'm half deaf all of a sudden. I'm having trouble hearing."

The doctor replied "Right, we'll test if you're half deaf or not. Go out and stand in the room at the end of the hall and I'll shout a number and if you can hear it, shout it back."

Paddy walked out and into the room.

The doctor shouted "88!"

Paddy replied "44!"

I was talking to a North Korean about freedom

I told him, "You know what's the best thing about freedom? If I ever see President Trump, I can shout, 'Hey Mr. President, you're an asshole!'"

The North Korean answered, "I have that freedom too. If I ever see President Kim, I can shout, 'Hey Supreme Leader, Donald Trump is an asshole!'"

How do you break up a fight between two blind men?

Shout "My money's on the one with the knife!"

A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..

Blonde starts shouting: "HELP! HELP!"

Brunette turns to her and says: "We should shout together."

Blonde: "TOGETHER! TOGETHER!"

Girl on skates.

The ice was thin.
Then it broke and she fell right in.

The boy on the bank heard her shout.
He jumped right in and helped her out.

Now they're married.
Very nice.
All she had to do
was break the ice.

Shout out to those who don't know the opposite of in.

They need the help.

An American and a German are discussing freedom of speech.

The German says:

>Here in Germany, contrary to what a lot of you Americans think, we do have freedom of speech. Everyone here hates Putin, but I could walk right up to the Bundestag and proclaim: "I love Vladimir Putin!" And I wouldn't even be arrested!

The American replies:

>Ah, yes, but in the USA we're even freer. I could walk right up to the White House and shout "I love Vladimir Putin"... and they'd let me in!

Three Christian mothers are having afternoon tea and boast about their sons.

The first mother says, "My son is the worship band leader. When he walks past the congregation, they go:

'Oh worship leader! Oh worship leader!'"

"Wow, that's great!" they exclaim.

Not to be outdone, the second mother adds, "Well, MY son is the pastor. When he walks past the church, they go:

'Oh pastor! Oh pastor!'"

The other two shout, "Oh my, how impressive!"

The third mother is beaming with pride and says, "Well, MY son is 4 feet tall and 800 pounds. When he walks past the church, they go:

'MY GOD!'"

I was at a bar once, and the band played "Jump"

.. and everyone jumped. Then the band played "Twist and Shout" and everyone twisted and shouted.

Then the band played "Come on Eileen". Poor Eileen!

The president is walking out of the White House towards his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims his gun.

A Secret Service agent, new on the job, shouts Mickey Mouse! This startles the would be assassin and he is captured. Later, the Secret Service agent's supervisor asks him, Why the hell did you shout Mickey Mouse?

Blushing, the agent replies, I got nervous. I meant to shout...... Donald, duck!

It's just the worst thing ever when you shout the wrong name during sex.

I accidentally shouted out my sister's name last week…

My mum was not happy!

Did you know spiders go deaf if they have no legs?

Well it's true and here's why.

When I was a child I had a pet a spider. It was great I even trained him to jump. 'Jump' I'd shout and with a boing he'd leap into the air.

Well my brother saw this and in a jealous rage he pulled the spiders legs off!

I was heartbroken. 'Jump' I'd shout and the spider would just sit there. Not only had he lost his legs, he'd gone deaf too.

A shout out to the guy who played the triangle with our band for the last few years...

... thanks for every ting.

How do you get nine grandmas to swear?

Make the tenth one shout "bingo!"

One day a Soviet Party member is walking through red square when he hears a man shout down with the tyrant with the mustache.

Immediately the party member drags the man to Stalin and explains what he said. Stalin, furious asks: why did you say that? The man replies he was talking about Hitler. Stalin understands and sends the man on his way. The party member is about to go as well but is stopped by Stalin and asked: which mustached tyrant were you thinking of when you dragged the man here?

Shout out to my fingers

I could always count on them.

I went to the dentist to put all caps on my teeth...

...now I can't help but shout every time I talk.

An American and a Russian were talking in a bar

The American began to boast about his country, claiming it's the land of the free.

"I could walk straight up to the White House and shout "Death to the American President" and nothing happens to me."

Hearing this the Russian smirked

"I too can walk up to the Kremlin and shout " Death to the American President", nothing bad happens to me either"

The bidding was proceeding furiously when the Head Auctioneer suddenly announced, A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing ten thousand dollars.

If returned, he has agreed to pay a reward of two thousand dollars!

There was a moment's silence in the auction house and from the back of the room came a shout, Two thousand five hundred!

Three brothers and the lights

Three brothers are arguing about whom will turn the lights off. The first orders the second, and the second orders the third to turn the lights off. In the end they agreed if someone talks he'd turn the lights off.

Days past and the neighbours are starting to get worried about them so they decided to break in. They found the three brothers all dead!

The neighbours saddened by their lost bury the brothers next together. But the third brother starts to shout that he isn't dead and the other two tell him to go turn the lights off.

A kind and generous doctor walks into a bar…

Seeing a balance of happy crowd inside she shouts happily free shots for everyone!

Half of the crowd happily get their best whiskey.

The other half of the crowd are unhappy and shout back my body my rights!

A shout out to Jussie Smollette

On hiring black actors for what has been a traditionally white role.

At the check out at Walmart and my son is sitting in the cart seat…

I've already pulled him and the cart up to past the check out folks so I could start putting bags in the cart. The women in the lane over says, Oh hello there handsome! Obviously talking to my son, however I shout back, Oh hey! How's it going?
The woman checking us out laughed so hard she had to take a step back and the woman I said it to was so red faced and chuckling she couldn't really say much! The few folks in line began laughing too so it was pretty funny and the epitome of dad joke! Ha! I've made it!

How I got tasered...

Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout, "Hi Jack!"

Shout out to my fingers!

I can count on all of them

Spartacus and his wife are enjoying a nice dinner with friends when

Out of nowhere a lion leaps onto the table and swallows his wife whole!

Horrified, his friends shout "Spartacus, your wife was just eaten by a lion! Why didn't you do something?"

Shocked Spartacus says "Do something? I was gladiator."

A soviet joke about censorship that I found in my school book

An American tells a Russian that people in USA have the freedom of speech and that he even could go to the White House and shout:"Go to hell, Ronald Reagan!"

The russian answers:"Oh, we also have freedom of speech. I, too, can go to Kremlin and shout:" Go to hell, Ronald Reagan!"

A guy is spending his first night in prison

He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.

Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.

"46!" and everyone loses their minds.

He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"

"Well we've all been here so long we remember all the jokes by heart. To save time we just give them numbers and tell those instead."

"Oh I think I understand. Let me try. 63!"

There's dead silence.

The new guy says "What's wrong, is that one not funny?"

"Nah, it's a good one. Some people just don't know how tell a joke."

An Italian, a Thai and a Jew are discussing lubricants.

The Italian says: "I am using olive oil from an ancient family grove. My wife is so pleased that she continues to shout for 10 minutes after we are done."

The Thai says: "I am using coconut oil made from cocnuts grown on a secret island. My wife is so pleased that she continues to shout for an hour after we are done."

The Jew says: "I am using Kosher fish oil from the grocery store and my wife is shouting for one month after we are done.'

"One month?" asked in astonishment the other two.

"Yes, that's because I wipe my hands with the bedroom curtains..."

Mark went for a walk in the park.

As he strolled up the path he heard someone shout, "Mark!"

He stopped and turned his head, and heard it again. "Mark!"

There was nobody around except for an old man on a bench with his dog, so he walked closer.

"Mark! Mark!" said the dog, tugging on its leash in the man's hands.

Mark was taken aback. "You.. you know my name?! ..and can ***talk***?"

"Oh?" the man lifted his head. "I'm sorry, she can't pronounce her B's".

Sometimes I randomly shout out Bruno Mars lyrics

Don't believe me? Just watch!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the shout wail puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working shout holla piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes