Shotgun Wedding Jokes

8 shotgun wedding jokes and hilarious shotgun wedding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shotgun wedding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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What is a good shotgun wedding joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

My parents decided to have a Nirvana-Themed wedding

Then again, shotgun weddings were all the rage back then.
Disclaimer: 8371 days is long enough.

Wedding anniversary

A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary.
On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together.
He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you.
Tomorrow I would've been a free man! "

I never understood how a grown man could cry at his own wedding.

That was until my father in law prodded me with his shotgun.

Teacher asks her class, "If there's 14 crows on a fence and you shoot 2 off, how many are left ?"

One little boy says, "None, the shotgun scared them all away." Teacher says, "That's not the answer I was looking for but I like the way you're thinking." Boy says to teacher, "I have a question for you." "There's 3 women eating ice cream cones. 1 is l**..., 1 is s**..., 1 is biting. Which one is married?" Teacher answers (slightly embarrassed), "I imagine it's the one s**...." Boy says, "No, it's the one with the wedding ring, but I like the way your thinking !"

Shotgun Wedding

Death by shotgun or wife

What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech?


Why can't melons have shotgun weddings?

They cantaloupe

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of the math class...

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is l**... it, and one is s**... on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's s**... on the ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

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