Shortest Jokes

83 shortest jokes and hilarious shortest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shortest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover the shortest jokes of all time! From the oldest to the busiest, explore the world of the shortest books, days, and more. Find out which of these short wonders reigns supreme!

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Funniest Shortest Short Jokes

Short shortest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shortest humour may include short smallest jokes also.

  1. The shortest sentence in the English language is "go." What is the longest? Life without parole
  2. Which President had the shortest term? Grover Cleveland.
    He was the twenty second President.
  3. The shortest tribe in the world The Fuckawee tribe....In the long grass you can hear their chant...Where the Fuckawee!
  4. What did the winter solstice say to the shortest day of the year? "Hey, cheer up! Tomorrow will be a little longer."
  5. Known as the "one-day insect" the Mayfly has the shortest lifespan of all organisms... But it still lives longer than my headphones.
  6. If I am is said to be the shortest sentence in the English language... Could it be that I do is the longest one?
  7. Just witnessed the shortest ever dispute in court about a guy who supposedly stole a woman's bag. It was a briefcase.
  8. "An unknown plight" or "the shortest and worse joke i know" Pedophiles have trouble fitting in.
  9. The shortest Dad Joke in the world. Driving down a country road with your kids in the back seat, point at a stack of hay bales on some random farm and exclaim:
    ># Hey!
  10. The World's Shortest Fairy Tale Once upon a time a young man asked the fairest lady in the village to marry him. She looked him up and down and said "No."
    He lived happily ever after.

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Shortest One Liners

Which shortest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shortest? I can suggest the ones about shorter and longest.

  1. The shortest sentence in the English language is also the longest I do
  2. The shortest sentence known to man is I Am The longest one is I Do
  3. Shortest one liner A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
  4. Which is the shortest century? The twenty-second century.
  5. Q: What's the shortest book ever written? A: French War Heroes.
  6. What's the shortest death sentence? "Arghh."
  7. I present to you the world's shortest poem, entitled "Fleas". Adam had'em.
  8. What are the 3 shortest words in the English language? is it in
  9. Shortest horror story Wife: "Honey, Let's go shopping"
  10. Shortest Joke Son to Dad: I swear dad, it's shampoo on the toilet seat.
  11. Which baseball player has the shortest commute? The catcher, he only works from home.
  12. What's the shortest three-word sentence in the English language? Is it in?
  13. What's the shortest way to someone heart? The Dijkstra's algorithm.
  14. What is the shortest street in the universe? Planckstrasse
  15. The shortest word play joke ever. Dwarf shortage.

Shortest Of All Jokes

Here is a list of funny shortest of all jokes and even better shortest of all puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "Fake News, inevitably, will be the end of us all!" - Napoleon Bonaparte after Buzzfeed posted an article titled "10 Shortest Dynasties (Literally)"
  • Racism is institutionalized throughout the US Why else would black history be celebrated during the shortest month!
  • Shortest conversation that led to a beat down Wife: I have changed my mind
    Husband: Is it working now?
  • Do you know why February is black history month? Because It's the shortest month of the year, and it's too cold to have a parade.
  • What are the three shortest words in the english language to describe the shortest thing in the human body? Is it in?
  • Shortest conversation between a girl and a doctor Doctor: How are you doing ?
    Girl: I don't know, you are the doctor.
  • The shortest person I've ever met was the divorced mother of a physicist She was a single μm
  • Brace yourself for the shortest and corniest joke in the world What do you call a fly with no wings....... A walk
  • I haven't run a 5K for the longest time. I usually try to go for the shortest.
    Just made this up myself, but someone's probably come up with it before though...
  • Track and field is perfect for introverts. The goal is the be there the shortest time possible.

World Shortest Jokes

Here is a list of funny world shortest jokes and even better world shortest puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is the shortest book in the world? 'French War Heroes'.
  • World's Shortest Joke *Doctor :* ​How is your headache ???​

    *Man :* ​"She is fine."
  • Have you heard about the world's shortest active volcano? They say that mountain ain't that Taal
  • World's shortest poem titled.... Fleas
    Adam had `em
  • World's shortest resign letter. Dear Sir,
    Waak! thuu.
    Thank You.
  • The worlds shortest blues song. "Didn't wake up this morning."
  • What's the shortest book in the world? Deutscher Humor!
  • Photos: World's tallest man meets world's shortest man
  • What's the world's shortest book? Jewish book of business ethics.
  • What's the shortest word in the world? As you pass the joint saying here: "ear"
Shortest joke, What's the shortest word in the world?

Shortest Books Jokes

Here is a list of funny shortest books jokes and even better shortest books puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is the shortest book ever written? "Swedish War Heros"
  • It's a good thing Aquaman isn't black Shortest...comic book...ever!

Shortest Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny shortest day jokes and even better shortest day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the best day to host a midget convention? The Winter solstice. It's the shortest day of the year!
  • Did you know why today is one of the shortest days of the year? Because it's only 4/11.
  • Today is the coldest day of the year... And the warmest, shortest, longest, driest and most wet.
Shortest joke, Today is the coldest day of the year...

Cheerful Shortest Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about shortest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quickest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shortest pranks.

List of the shortest books

1. The Australian Book of Foreplay.
2. Contraception by the Pope.
3. The American Guide to Etiquette.
4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family.
5. Consumer Marketing Ethics.
6. Career Opportunities for History Majors.
7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan.
8. Integrity by Bill Clinton.
9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush.
10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.


A man is at a bar and says, "did you know that 'I am' is he shortest sentence in the English language?"
The bartender exclaims, "Did you know 'I do' is the longest one?"
(Was in the comics today so I thought I would share.)

Two pilots are landing a plane.

Two pilots are preparing to land and they're coming in hot. The wheels touch the tarmac and before you know it they're off the other end. 100mph through the grass, the fence and they smash through the gates. Glass and bags go everywhere.
When they finally come to a stop the pilot looks at his co-pilot and says "That was the shortest runway I've ever seen!"
The co-pilot says" Yeah, but wasn't it wide!

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said, "No!"
And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motocycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and had money in the bank.
The End

Airport trouble

An airplane lands at an airport with great difficulty, stopping, just short of an accident. When they arrive at the gate, the captain wipes his brow and says,"My God that's the shortest runway I've ever seen!"
"You're not kidding" says his co-pilot, looking out of the window "but it sure is wide."

Two polish Pilots are trying to land a plane

They approach the ground, but they really struggle with the runway. The plane nearly crashes, but they finally are able to land it.
Jesus, one pilot says. That was the shortest runway ever.
Yeah, and did you see how wide it was?

The pilot and copilot are coming into LAX and they are nervous.

Sweat pouring off their brows, they bring the 737 down quickly. As soon as the wheels touch they throw the engines into reverse, stand on the brakes as hard as they can and cry "Stop! Please stop!" The plane stops an inch from the end of the runway. The pilot says "That was the shortest runway I ever saw! And the copilot says "Yeah, but look how WIDE it is!"

Shortest joke