Shorter Than Jokes
120 shorter than jokes and hilarious shorter than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shorter than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Shorter Than Short Jokes
Short shorter than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shorter than humour may include short shorter jokes also.
- What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene.
What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?
Irene. - What is black and white and red all over? At this point, the shorter list would be "what *isn't* black and white and red all over".
- What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other Ilene.
What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Irene
- If the characters were gay, Saving Private Ryan would have been a way shorter film. There is no way a group of gay men would have taken 3 hours to find Matt Damon
- arm's length what do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
a speech impediment - What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
- I met a girl with one leg shorter than the other. I asked her name.
She said Ailene .
I replied I can see that, but I asked for your name. - What does an Italian have if he's born with one arm shorter than the other ? A speech impediment.
- Why did the winter solstice start a snowball fight? It wanted to have a little fun before the nights started getting shorter again.
- The Force Awakens could have been much shorter. All the First Order had to do to get rid of the Resistance was to use a superconductor.
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Shorter Than One Liners
Which shorter than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shorter than? I can suggest the ones about thinner than and slower than.
- What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
- What word becomes shorter if you add two letters? Short
- What burns longer, a red or a green candle? Neither, they both burn shorter.
- Why can't Penguins jump higher ? Where they live , they have shorter springs !
- What do you call your mum who is shorter than you? A minimum.
- Why are dutch people so tall? Shorter ones drowned in floods.
- What do you call a Valley Girl with one leg shorter than the other? Like, not even.
- What do you call an Italian moose with one leg shorter than the others? moose so leany.
- How tall is the worlds tallest amputee? About a foot shorter than the tallest man.
- What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
- I know a girl with one leg shorter than the other Her name is ilene
- What do you call a moose with two legs shorter than the others? Mussolini
- what do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? eileen
- What do you call a hungarian Composer with one leg shorter than the other? Liszt.
- Did you hear about the kid who got his legs blown off? He's a whole two feet shorter.
Shorter Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about shorter than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quicker than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shorter than pranks.
Why, when the birds fly in the shape of a V, one line is shorter than the other? Because one line has more birds in it, duh.
During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the r**....
"Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
What do you call a cow with 2 legs shorter than the others?
Lean-Beef
I must say...
Marley and Me would have been a much shorter movie if it was Korean.
The magic of English.
What is shorter when it is longer and longer when it is shorter; also bigger when it is smaller and smaller when it is bigger?
A word. LONGER is shorter than SHORTER, and SMALLER is bigger than BIGGER.
The waiting list for the WiiU....
Just got shorter in Conneticut
What do you call a p**... with one leg shorter than the other?
A Trampoline.
g**... in the military
If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.
7 mildly offensive jokes
**What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? **
A speech impediment.
**What's the Cuban National Anthem? **
Row row row your boat.
**What's the fastest way to a man's heart? **
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
**Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a r**... baby? **
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
**Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? **
Because those men already have boyfriends.
**What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? **
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
**What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? **
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Anyone know any winter jokes?
Need a joke about winter. Something on the shorter side.
Thanks
What is a shorter name for 2 wombats fighting eachother?
Mortal wombat !
Since women are shorter....are they more genetically suited to scrub the toilet?
funny or not
As a tall person...
Study finds that shorter men will live longer but taller men have a higher shelf life.
A man walks into a barbershop...
...and says, "I want you to cut my hair longer on the left side and shorter on the right side. Make it uneven along the back, jagged in the front, and take out a big chunk right near the top."
The barber says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that."
The man replies, "Why not? It's what you did last time."
As schoolgirl skirts get shorter...
...anemia rates grow in Japan.
A funnier shorter vampire joke
What did the vampire say to the woman teacher?
Bla...bla..see you next period.
Why do Newfies want Québec to separate?
So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!
So, I went to go get my haircut..
And I told the barber to make the left side a little shorter than my right. Then I told him to make a couple of little holes and bald patches. And for the back of my head, don't make my hairline equal. Make it a zigzag.
He looks at me and says, "Come on, you know I can't do that, it wouldn't be right!"
And I'm like, "I don't see the problem, you did it last time..."
Do you know why giraffes necks are so long?
Because if they were shorter they wouldn't reach their heads.
The average women..
The average women reads 18 books a year. The average man reads 12.
It's really not a fair comparison though....Cook books are shorter.
What do you call a lesbian with one leg shorter than the other?
Gaylene!
What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other?
Li Ning
They say everything is bigger in Texas,
but their buses are usually shorter.
Doogie Houser isn't getting shorter when he gets a haircut
Neil Patrick hair is
What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?
A terrible disability.
What do you do in case of fallout?
Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
Is there a shorter word for monosyllabic?
Cr
Why was the cyclists right arm shorter than his left?
Because once he left his right turn signal on.
Why does England always get attacked in the summer?
Because the Knights are shorter then.
If God didn't want us to j**... he would have...
...given us shorter arms
Why do women have shorter feet?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen counter.
"You need a shorter password."
While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.
It's taped under the modem,
I told him.
After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?
After the accident I thought that one of my legs being three inches shorter than the other would effect my running career..
but now I run circles around my opponents!
My hairdresser doesn't cut my hair any longer....
He cuts it shorter instead.
If ever I commit m**..., I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.
Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.
My new girlfriend has one leg shorter than the other...
Her name is Ilene Wright.
What's shorter than Mt. Everest?
Mt. Everer
A cat can read the hands of a clock to know when it's nap time.
It's nap time when the hours-hand is shorter than the minutes-hand.
My aunt lost a foot when someone dropped a bowling ball on her
Does she walk with a limp?
No, she's just a bit shorter.
I might seem perfect...
I know that I might seem perfect, but one of my legs is actually a tiny bit shorter than the other two.
I was always told life is like a box of chocolates..
The fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.
Did you hear there was another overbooked united flight?
This story is much shorter and I won't drag it out.
What do you call a shorter samurai?
A summarai...
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
That same guy in your pool? Bob
Same guy in your hot tub? Stew
Sitting under your car that's missing a wheel? Jack
Same guy on your porch? Matt
Same guy getting hit with a baseball bat? Homer
Same guy lying in a pile of leaves? Russel
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
Chinese girl with the same condition? Irene.
What do girls call men that are shorter than 6 feet tall?
Friends
What do you call a cholo with one leg shorter than the other?
Not even, foo
The genitalia of Juan Diego Sanches Garcia Hernandez
is shorter than his name.
Marriage ceremonies are a lot shorter in Texas
Because the wife doesn't have to change her surname.
TIL one of Lil Peep's legs was shorter than the other.
He was leanin'.
The barber in town can't cut hair no longer.
He must cut it shorter.
What do you call a girl that has a leg that is shorter that the other?
Eileen
A man is in line at Office Depot
A man is in line at Office Depot, he's in the middle of the line.
Two people behind him say to him: were late to our abortion protest. The man said back saying: Yeah, were all gonna be late to something.
The two say again to the man: Were late to our abortion protest. The man then turned to them and said: Yeah but if you supported abortion, this line would be a lot shorter
Taken and shortened from a bit of Steve Hoffstetters comedy acts.
(Completely not mine just thought I'd share cause I thought it's funny)
If gay men were allowed in the army back in WWII, Saving Private Ryan would be a lot shorter...
Because there is no way it would take 3 hours for a group of gay men to find Matt Damon.
What did the New Zealander with one leg shorter than the other say?
"Not even bro".
Vern Troyer died today...
I wonder if Little people have Shorter life spans?
The longest white snake, I lay coiled The shorter brown snakes travel first I'm always a touch behind What am I?
Toilet Paper.
Why does everyone care about saving paper?
Just tell CVS to make shorter recipts and we would be fine.
A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store
He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub
The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub when the bully interjects, and attempts to start bullying the kid by pointing out in an annoyed voice: "That definitely looks shorter than six inches!"
The kid was undaunted, however, and propped his arms against the counter and in the sweetest voice, replied, "Dude, you need to stop listening to your girlfriend."
A man accused of m**... tries to get a shorter sentence.
Prosecutor: "Did you commit the m**...?"
Accused: "No"
Prosecutor: "Do you know what the penalty is for perjury!?"
Accused *leans into mic* : "Much less than m**...."
The other day I used a very high u**...
I didn't like it: if I was 5 centimeters shorter (or longer ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) I would have touched the porcelain.
How long is a while?
A bit shorter than a whale
You know why high school days in the Gulag are shorter than regular high schools?
Since they don't include the lunch period.
What has a shorter life span than an Anti-Vax mom?
Her child
Why is the Christmas alphabet shorter than the normal alphabet?
Noel
I get the appeal of being an anti-vaxxer...
Choosing to "be an anti-vaxxer for life" is a much shorter-term commitment than many other "for life" decision.
Life is like a box of chocolate
It's a lot shorter when you're fat.
What word has 5 letters, but becomes shorter when added 2 more letters?
Short.
Most words get bigger when you add letters two letters
Except for short Which gets shorter
Why do we measure in feet instead of p**...?
Because when you measure in p**... you always come up at least 3/8 shorter than what you claim to have measured.