Shorter Than Jokes
98 shorter than jokes and hilarious shorter than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shorter than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Shorter Than Short Jokes
Short shorter than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shorter than humour may include short thinner than jokes also.
- What is black and white and red all over? At this point, the shorter list would be "what *isn't* black and white and red all over".
- arm's length what do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
a speech impediment - What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
- I met a girl with one leg shorter than the other. I asked her name.
She said Ailene .
I replied I can see that, but I asked for your name. - Why did the winter solstice start a snowball fight? It wanted to have a little fun before the nights started getting shorter again.
- The Force Awakens could have been much shorter. All the First Order had to do to get rid of the Resistance was to use a superconductor.
- Marriage ceremonies are a lot shorter in Texas Because the wife doesn't have to change her surname.
- I might seem perfect... I know that I might seem perfect, but one of my legs is actually a tiny bit shorter than the other two.
- What do you call a medieval knight with one leg that's shorter than the other? An Angled-Saxon
- The average women.. The average women reads 18 books a year. The average man reads 12.
It's really not a fair comparison though....Cook books are shorter.
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Shorter Than One Liners
Which shorter than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shorter than? I can suggest the ones about slower than and quicker than.
- What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
- What burns longer, a red or a green candle? Neither, they both burn shorter.
- Why can't Penguins jump higher ? Where they live , they have shorter springs !
- How tall is the worlds tallest amputee? About a foot shorter than the tallest man.
- I know a girl with one leg shorter than the other Her name is ilene
- what do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? eileen
- What do you do in case of fallout? Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
- Why is Twitter more lenient than Facebook jail? Because they give out shorter sentences
- Why do Newfies want Québec to separate? So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!
- My hairdresser doesn't cut my hair any longer.... He cuts it shorter instead.
- How long is a while? A bit shorter than a whale
- What do you call a shorter samurai? A summarai...
- What's shorter than Mt. Everest? Mt. Everer
- Why does England always get attacked in the summer? Because the Knights are shorter then.
- As schoolgirl skirts get shorter... ...anemia rates grow in Japan.
Shorter Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about shorter than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheaper than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shorter than pranks.
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During a break on a North Dakota office building project, one of the construction workers approached Pyle.
"Ah heard the boys is gonna strike," he said.
"What fer?" asked Pyle.
"Shorter hours."
"Good fer them!" said the r**....
"Ah always did think sixty minutes was too long fer an hour!"
I must say...
Marley and Me would have been a much shorter movie if it was Korean.
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Name Jokes
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits in front of a door? Mat
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and swims? Bob
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits in a big steel p**...? Stu
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and has a shovel in his head? Doug
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits in a can of paint? Hugh
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and lays on a grill? Frank. What's his wife's name? Patty
What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene. What if she's Asian? Irene
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs and sits on a swing? Anything you want, what's he really going to do about it?
The magic of English.
What is shorter when it is longer and longer when it is shorter; also bigger when it is smaller and smaller when it is bigger?
A word. LONGER is shorter than SHORTER, and SMALLER is bigger than BIGGER.
The waiting list for the WiiU....
Just got shorter in Conneticut
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Some facts about h**...
He was shorter than most people would think, standing at 5'8". He was obsessed with self-image, and believed that pants that accentuated the glutes were physically imposing. His boots were hand-made by a friend of the family. An avid golfer, he never cleaned his 4 wood, considering the dirt on it to be lucky. The doors in his house would often need fixing, which he did himself. He was the captain of the rowing crew in college.
To sum it all up:
Shorty had them apple bottom jeans (jeans)
Boots for the Fuhrer. (For the Fuhrer)
The four club was full of that dirt
He fixed the doors. (He fixed the doors)
Last thing you know,
Shorty went "Row, row, row, row, row, row, row, row."
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What do you call a p**... with one leg shorter than the other?
A Trampoline.
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g**... in the military
If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.
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7 mildly offensive jokes
**What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? **
A speech impediment.
**What's the Cuban National Anthem? **
Row row row your boat.
**What's the fastest way to a man's heart? **
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
**Did you hear about the Chinese couple who had a r**... baby? **
They named him Sum Ting Wong.
**Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking? **
Because those men already have boyfriends.
**What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? **
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
**What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? **
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Anyone know any winter jokes?
Need a joke about winter. Something on the shorter side.
Thanks
What is a shorter name for 2 wombats fighting eachother?
Mortal wombat !
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Since women are shorter....are they more genetically suited to scrub the toilet?
funny or not
As a tall person...
Study finds that shorter men will live longer but taller men have a higher shelf life.
A man walks into a barbershop...
...and says, "I want you to cut my hair longer on the left side and shorter on the right side. Make it uneven along the back, jagged in the front, and take out a big chunk right near the top."
The barber says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that."
The man replies, "Why not? It's what you did last time."
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What do you call a Chinese man with one leg shorter than the other?
Li Ning
They say everything is bigger in Texas,
but their buses are usually shorter.
Doogie Houser isn't getting shorter when he gets a haircut
Neil Patrick hair is
A man with one leg shorter than the other visits the tower of Pisa.
He says "It looks fine to me."
Is there a shorter word for monosyllabic?
Cr
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What do you call a mexican with one arm shorter than the other?
not evennnn
Why was the cyclists right arm shorter than his left?
Because once he left his right turn signal on.
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If God didn't want us to j**... he would have...
...given us shorter arms
After the accident I thought that one of my legs being three inches shorter than the other would effect my running career..
but now I run circles around my opponents!
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Did you hear about the kid who got his legs blown off?
He's a whole two feet shorter.
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If ever I commit m**..., I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.
Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.
My new girlfriend has one leg shorter than the other...
Her name is Ilene Wright.
A cat can read the hands of a clock to know when it's nap time.
It's nap time when the hours-hand is shorter than the minutes-hand.
My aunt lost a foot when someone dropped a bowling ball on her
Does she walk with a limp?
No, she's just a bit shorter.
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Why are dutch people so tall?
Shorter ones drowned in floods.
Did you hear there was another overbooked united flight?
This story is much shorter and I won't drag it out.
The genitalia of Juan Diego Sanches Garcia Hernandez
is shorter than his name.
TIL one of Lil Peep's legs was shorter than the other.
He was leanin'.
The barber in town can't cut hair no longer.
He must cut it shorter.
A man is in line at Office Depot
A man is in line at Office Depot, he's in the middle of the line.
Two people behind him say to him: were late to our abortion protest. The man said back saying: Yeah, were all gonna be late to something.
The two say again to the man: Were late to our abortion protest. The man then turned to them and said: Yeah but if you supported abortion, this line would be a lot shorter
Taken and shortened from a bit of Steve Hoffstetters comedy acts.
(Completely not mine just thought I'd share cause I thought it's funny)
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What did the New Zealander with one leg shorter than the other say?
"Not even bro".
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Vern Troyer died today...
I wonder if Little people have Shorter life spans?
The longest white snake, I lay coiled The shorter brown snakes travel first I'm always a touch behind What am I?
Toilet Paper.
Why does everyone care about saving paper?
Just tell CVS to make shorter recipts and we would be fine.
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A bully and his gang walk into a Subway store
He then sees the sandwich artist (that's what they are called) is a skinny, young, inexperienced kid- a perfect target to bully while ordering some subs. He walks up to the kid and starts his order of his 6-inch sub
The kid then proceeds to cut a footlong sub bread in half for a 6-inch sub when the bully interjects, and attempts to start bullying the kid by pointing out in an annoyed voice: "That definitely looks shorter than six inches!"
The kid was undaunted, however, and propped his arms against the counter and in the sweetest voice, replied, "Dude, you need to stop listening to your girlfriend."
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The other day I used a very high u**...
I didn't like it: if I was 5 centimeters shorter (or longer ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) I would have touched the porcelain.
You know why high school days in the Gulag are shorter than regular high schools?
Since they don't include the lunch period.
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What has a shorter life span than an Anti-Vax mom?
Her child
I get the appeal of being an anti-vaxxer...
Choosing to "be an anti-vaxxer for life" is a much shorter-term commitment than many other "for life" decision.
Most words get bigger when you add letters two letters
Except for short Which gets shorter
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Why do we measure in feet instead of p**...?
Because when you measure in p**... you always come up at least 3/8 shorter than what you claim to have measured.
What kind of meat comes from an animal whose left legs are shorter than their right legs?
Lean.
Translated Pakistani Joke: A man walks into a store and asks for a live chicken for a party
The store owner gives him a chicken, the man pays, and he leaves.
Sometime later, the man comes back with the chicken, furious.
The shopkeeper asks him, What's wrong with the chicken? Why have you brought it back to me so angry?
The man yells and says that one leg of the chicken is shorter than the other.
The shopkeeper replies, Are you eating the chicken or putting it on the dance floor?
I wrote a manifesto for my political party but I think it was too long so I wrote a shorter one...
It's a minifesto
Half an year ago, a middle-aged man, walking home after a long and stressful day of work, found an old, crusty lamp in an abandoned alley.
"What harm could it do," he said out loud, and gave it a rub.
A genie emerged, exclaiming, All behold, I, the most powerful genie!! My might is unparalleled, my power is incomprehensible, and I shall grant you 3 wishes for freeing me from my prison...
"I am a simple man with a simple life, genie. All I wish for is to spend more time with my wife and children, have a shorter commute than I have now, and a case of Corona."
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What do you call an Italian moose with one leg shorter than the others?
moose so leany.
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"zoom meetings" is a s**... name, and it's branded. We should call it a bit more casual like "coworker video chat"...
Or something shorter, like "co-vid".
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What do you call a moose with two legs shorter than the others?
Mussolini
A 4'6 woman walks into a matchmaking service…
A 4'6 (137cm) woman walks into a matchmaking service.
She says to the man behind the counter, I'm really insecure about my height, so the only thing I'm looking for in a partner is that he's shorter than me.
The man replies, You've got really low standards.
.
[OC, I think]
The male bees were unhappy with their lot ...
So they decided to stop fertilizing the Queen. They had the usual demands: larger honey rations, shorter hours, etc. The worker bees tried to negotiate, but it was too late, and the hive never recovered. Thus it became the first beehive destroyed in a drone strike.
I'm really distraught, my barber cut my hair way shorter than normal!
I would be more upset, but I think it's growing on me.
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What do you call a Valley Girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Like, not even.
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What do you call a hungarian Composer with one leg shorter than the other?
Liszt.
A man takes a stool at the bar and orders a drink. Then he asks the man to the right of him…
How tall is a Penguin, this tall?
No, they're much shorter than that , he answers.
He looks to the man at his left- How tall is a penguin, this tall?
Nowhere near that tall! , says the other man.
The man puts his head in his hands.
The bartender, witnessing all of this asks the man Everything okay, Sir?
The man responds No, I just ran over a Nun .