Shorter Jokes

91 shorter jokes and hilarious shorter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shorter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Fill your repertoire with the best shorter jokes around! Brevity is the spice of life, and laughter is a great way to extend your enjoyment. Learn how to craft jokes that are shorter than usual without sacrificing the duration of a smile!

Funniest Shorter Short Jokes

Short shorter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shorter humour may include short smaller jokes also.

  1. What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene.
    What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?
  2. What is black and white and red all over? At this point, the shorter list would be "what *isn't* black and white and red all over".
  3. What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other Ilene.
    What do you cal an Asian woman with one leg shorter than the other?
  4. If the characters were gay, Saving Private Ryan would have been a way shorter film. There is no way a group of gay men would have taken 3 hours to find Matt Damon
  5. arm's length what do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    a speech impediment
  6. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment.
  7. I met a girl with one leg shorter than the other. I asked her name.
    She said Ailene .
    I replied I can see that, but I asked for your name.
  8. What does an Italian have if he's born with one arm shorter than the other ? A speech impediment.
  9. Why did the winter solstice start a snowball fight? It wanted to have a little fun before the nights started getting shorter again.
  10. The Force Awakens could have been much shorter. All the First Order had to do to get rid of the Resistance was to use a superconductor.

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Shorter One Liners

Which shorter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shorter? I can suggest the ones about longer and shortest.

  1. What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
  2. What word becomes shorter if you add two letters? Short
  3. What burns longer, a red or a green candle? Neither, they both burn shorter.
  4. Why can't Penguins jump higher ? Where they live , they have shorter springs !
  5. What do you call your mum who is shorter than you? A minimum.
  6. Why are dutch people so tall? Shorter ones drowned in floods.
  7. What do you call a Valley Girl with one leg shorter than the other? Like, not even.
  8. What do you call an Italian moose with one leg shorter than the others? moose so leany.
  9. How tall is the worlds tallest amputee? About a foot shorter than the tallest man.
  10. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
  11. I know a girl with one leg shorter than the other Her name is ilene
  12. What do you call a moose with two legs shorter than the others? Mussolini
  13. what do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? eileen
  14. What do you call a hungarian Composer with one leg shorter than the other? Liszt.
  15. Did you hear about the kid who got his legs blown off? He's a whole two feet shorter.

Shorter Than Jokes

Here is a list of funny shorter than jokes and even better shorter than puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If gay men were allowed in the army back in WWII, Saving Private Ryan would be a lot shorter... Because there is no way it would take 3 hours for a group of gay men to find Matt Damon.
  • Marriage ceremonies are a lot shorter in Texas Because the wife doesn't have to change her surname.
  • I might seem perfect... I know that I might seem perfect, but one of my legs is actually a tiny bit shorter than the other two.
  • What do you call a medieval knight with one leg that's shorter than the other? An Angled-Saxon
  • Do you know why giraffes necks are so long? Because if they were shorter they wouldn't reach their heads.
  • The average women.. The average women reads 18 books a year. The average man reads 12.
    It's really not a fair comparison though....Cook books are shorter.
  • I'm really distraught, my barber cut my hair way shorter than normal! I would be more upset, but I think it's growing on me.
  • Did you hear there was another overbooked united flight? This story is much shorter and I won't drag it out.
  • My aunt lost a foot when someone dropped a bowling ball on her Does she walk with a limp?
    No, she's just a bit shorter.
  • What do you do in case of fallout? Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
Shorter joke, What do you do in case of fallout?

Playful Shorter Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about shorter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean quicker jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shorter pranks.

The magic of English.

What is shorter when it is longer and longer when it is shorter; also bigger when it is smaller and smaller when it is bigger?
A word. LONGER is shorter than SHORTER, and SMALLER is bigger than BIGGER.

What do you call a p**... with one leg shorter than the other?

A Trampoline.

g**... in the military

If gay men were allowed in the army, Saving Private Ryan will be a lot shorter, because it wouldn't take them 3 hours to find Matt Damon.

As a tall person...

Study finds that shorter men will live longer but taller men have a higher shelf life.

A man walks into a barbershop...

...and says, "I want you to cut my hair longer on the left side and shorter on the right side. Make it uneven along the back, jagged in the front, and take out a big chunk right near the top."
The barber says, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't do that."
The man replies, "Why not? It's what you did last time."

As schoolgirl skirts get shorter...

...anemia rates grow in Japan.

Why do Newfies want Québec to separate?

So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!

So, I went to go get my haircut..

And I told the barber to make the left side a little shorter than my right. Then I told him to make a couple of little holes and bald patches. And for the back of my head, don't make my hairline equal. Make it a zigzag.
He looks at me and says, "Come on, you know I can't do that, it wouldn't be right!"
And I'm like, "I don't see the problem, you did it last time..."

What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other?

A terrible disability.

Why does England always get attacked in the summer?

Because the Knights are shorter then.

If God didn't want us to j**... he would have...

...given us shorter arms

"You need a shorter password."

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.
It's taped under the modem, 
I told him.
After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?

My hairdresser doesn't cut my hair any longer....

He cuts it shorter instead.

If ever I commit m**..., I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.

Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.

My new girlfriend has one leg shorter than the other...

Her name is Ilene Wright.

What's shorter than Mt. Everest?

Mt. Everer

I was always told life is like a box of chocolates..

The fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.

What do you call a shorter samurai?

A summarai...

What do girls call men that are shorter than 6 feet tall?


What do you call a girl that has a leg that is shorter that the other?


A man accused of m**... tries to get a shorter sentence.

Prosecutor: "Did you commit the m**...?"
Accused: "No"
Prosecutor: "Do you know what the penalty is for perjury!?"
Accused *leans into mic* : "Much less than m**...."

How long is a while?

A bit shorter than a whale

Most words get bigger when you add letters two letters

Except for short Which gets shorter

What kind of meat comes from an animal whose left legs are shorter than their right legs?


Translated Pakistani Joke: A man walks into a store and asks for a live chicken for a party

The store owner gives him a chicken, the man pays, and he leaves.
Sometime later, the man comes back with the chicken, furious.
The shopkeeper asks him, What's wrong with the chicken? Why have you brought it back to me so angry?
The man yells and says that one leg of the chicken is shorter than the other.
The shopkeeper replies, Are you eating the chicken or putting it on the dance floor?

I wrote a manifesto for my political party but I think it was too long so I wrote a shorter one...

It's a minifesto

"zoom meetings" is a s**... name, and it's branded. We should call it a bit more casual like "coworker video chat"...

Or something shorter, like "co-vid".

Why is Twitter more lenient than Facebook jail?

Because they give out shorter sentences

A 4'6 woman walks into a matchmaking service…

A 4'6 (137cm) woman walks into a matchmaking service.
She says to the man behind the counter, I'm really insecure about my height, so the only thing I'm looking for in a partner is that he's shorter than me.
The man replies, You've got really low standards.
[OC, I think]

Two Polish pilots are coming in for a landing

But they touch down too fast and the plane runs off the end of the runway.
After the smoke clears, the one pilot says to the other, "That runway was a lot shorter than I remember."
The other pilot says, "Yeah... and a lot wider than I remember it too."

The male bees were unhappy with their lot ...

So they decided to stop fertilizing the Queen. They had the usual demands: larger honey rations, shorter hours, etc. The worker bees tried to negotiate, but it was too late, and the hive never recovered. Thus it became the first beehive destroyed in a drone strike.

A man takes a stool at the bar and orders a drink. Then he asks the man to the right of him…

How tall is a Penguin, this tall?
No, they're much shorter than that , he answers.
He looks to the man at his left- How tall is a penguin, this tall?
Nowhere near that tall! , says the other man.
The man puts his head in his hands.
The bartender, witnessing all of this asks the man Everything okay, Sir?
The man responds No, I just ran over a Nun .

Shorter joke, What is black and white and red all over?

jokes about shorter