Shortage Lasted Jokes
5 shortage lasted jokes and hilarious shortage lasted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shortage lasted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Unearthly Funniest Shortage Lasted Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What is a good shortage lasted joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
A man is taking a survey to find out what people think about the meat shortage.
First he approaches a Russian, and asks, "Excuse me, sir, what do you think about the meat shortage?" The Russian says, "What's meat?" Then he asks an American, who says, "What's a shortage?" Last, he asks an Israeli, who says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
We had an e**... in one of our chemistry labs last week.
Nobody got hurt, but the chemist responsible is the laughing stock of his group.
We use a lot of helium in the military, that's why when there's a shortage you can't get it for balloons - it's being stockpiled by the DOD. We use it to stabilize a variety of substances for storage.
One of the substances we cannot use it for is sodium. Even though it does not react with the helium, sodium in an environment with something it can't react with actually causes it to destabilize. In the correct stoichiometric ratio (8:3), it can actually explode. The chemists have a phrase they use to remind themselves of this:
Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, He He He, goodbye.
Last month a worldwide survey was conducted by the United Nations...
The question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a huge failure:
* In Africa, they didn't know what "food" meant...
* In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant...
* In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant...
* In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant...
* In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant...
* In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant...
* And in the USA, they didn't know what "rest of the world" meant.
A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a
gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"
"Negative, ma´am. Just serious by nature."
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said:
"It looks like you have seen a lot of action."
"Yes, ma´am, a lot of action."
The young lady, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said:
"You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said:
"You know, I hope you don´t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had s**...?"
"1955, ma´am."
"Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no s**... since 1955!"
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him a few times.
Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said:
"Wow, you sure didn´t forget much since 1955!"
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice:
"I hope not, it´s only 2130 now."
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