Shortage Jokes
84 shortage jokes and hilarious shortage puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shortage that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Joke about the world's current shortages and make light of the various supply chain problems. From the petrol shortage to water, toilet paper, gas and food, and the chip and diesel deficits, there's no shortage of material. Laugh at the absurdity of this moment in history and relish in the abundant absurdity of the New Yorker's finest jokes.
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Funniest Shortage Short Jokes
Short shortage jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shortage humour may include short short staffed jokes also.
- A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
- Germany has just warned its population of an upcoming susage and cheese shortage. They are calling it the wurst käse scenario.
- Apparently there's a beef shortage on the rise. Good news is fast food restaurants shouldn't be affected.
- They think there's a workers shortage now? Wait until the kids we can't afford to have don't grow up.
- Rumours of a food shortage..... rumour of a food shortage at this year's Spoonerism Awards turned out to be a complete lack of pies.
- Every city I see is protesting for change right now. I knew America was in a coin shortage, but I never imagined it would get this bad.
- 1973 joke by Johnny Carson You know, we’ve got all sorts of shortages these days. But have you heard the latest? I’m not kidding. I saw it in the papers. There’s an acute shortage of toilet paper!
- First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense. Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!
- How did the Halloween store stay open during the labor shortage? They operated with a skeleton crew.
- Why is there never a food shortage on the planet of Tatooine? Because of the abundance of sand which is there.
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Shortage One Liners
Which shortage one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shortage? I can suggest the ones about outage and drought.
- Did you hear there is a coin shortage in America? We're running out of common cents
- The ketchup shortage this year was so predictable. But I guess Heinz sight is 2020
- There is a coin shortage in America They are officially out of Common Cents
- Attention everyone: there is a national lettuce shortage everyone please romaine calm
- Have you heard about the helium shortage? It's only gotten worse with inflation.
- Apparently there's a lettuce shortage. Hopefully we can all romaine calm.
- 2 Word Joke Dwarf Shortage
- Why is there global chip shortage? Because it all went into vaccines.
- Ever hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It was dreadful.
- What do you mean gas shortage There's plenty of Taco Bells in the US
- An apple a day..... Causes job shortages in the hospital.
Have a burger instead! - Pandemic has led to another type of shortage: Social skills
- What happened when there was a global helium shortage? Prices ballooned.
- Heres a two word joke Dwarf shortage.
- The shortest word play joke ever. Dwarf shortage.
Food Shortage Jokes
Here is a list of funny food shortage jokes and even better food shortage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- With food shortages in the world, I'm just glad that I don't have to hunt or make my own food. I don't even know where wild hamburgers live
- Yo hair so greasy, that you can survive off the fried chicken in food shortage.
- World peace (how to) If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours...followed by a global food shortage.
Toilet Paper Shortage Jokes
Here is a list of funny toilet paper shortage jokes and even better toilet paper shortage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why, despite all the shortages, was the toilet paper in East Germany always 2-ply? Because they had to send a copy of everything they did to Moscow.
- It was no wonder there was a toilet paper shortage. Given the number of a**... in the country.
Water Shortage Jokes
Here is a list of funny water shortage jokes and even better water shortage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Due to the hot weather and water shortage in Ireland The Dublin swimming baths are closing lanes 7 & 8
- I hate people who do not understand the looming threat of water shortage. Like my neighbour. She refused when I offered to bath together to save water.
- Why did the African child cry only 1 tear? Because of water shortage
- Owing to the TP shortage, I've been using a picher and water to clean my b**...... .... baseball players will do anything for money now that the season is postponed.
Petrol Shortage Jokes
Here is a list of funny petrol shortage jokes and even better petrol shortage puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Apparently there's a s**... shortage in the UK Probably because all the wankers have gone to the petrol station
Gather Around for Fun Shortage Jokes and Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about shortage you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shorten jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shortage pranks.
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy
who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."
Four guys are walking down the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker. A reporter comes up to them and asks: "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says: "what's a shortage?" The Russian says: "what's meat?" The North Korean says: "what's an opinion?" The New Yorker says: "What's excuse me?"
Saw some great soviet jokes on here. Here's one from President Reagan...
Buying a car in the Soviet Union is not quite so easy as buying a car in the United States. There's a terrible automobile shortage so you have to pay the money up front and then wait, sometimes many years, until a car is made available to you.
On one occasion, at the height of the shortage, a man went down to his local dealership to buy a car. After he had accepted the man's money and the paperwork had been signed, the dealer informed the man that his car would be ready in 10 years and that he could come back then and pick it up.
Taking note of the date, the man turned to leave but paused on his way out the door and asked, "morning or afternoon?"
"It's 10 years from now, what difference does it make?" replied the dealer.
"Well, I'm busy in the morning." said the man.
Confused, the dealer asked, "what could you possibly have planned for the morning ten years from today?"
"The plumber's coming to fix my sink," replied the man.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
A New York Times reporter is interviewing some people
The first question asked is "What is your honest opinion about the shortage of meat in the world?"
The interview was a huge failure...
The African asks "What does meat mean?".
The American asks "What does shortage mean?".
The Chinese person asks "What does opinion mean?".
The Russian asks "What does honest mean?"
The North Korean just waits. The reporter asks again, and is told "The Interview is no good!"
So a coworker of mine made a joke about midgets going extinct. And I was offended!
Because there is nothing funny about a midget shortage.
So an introvert throws a party for introverts...
Needless to say there was a shortage of corners in the house.
My collection of dwarf/midget jokes. I'm sorry.
Did you know that there was a dwarf shortage in America?
In other countries, dwarfism is a growing problem.
Dwarves and midgets actually have very little in common.
Did you know that 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy?
Yesterday I saw a midget prisoner climbing down the prison wall and he looked at me and sneered. I said, "Well that's a little condescending."
How do midgets get girls to date them? They're really good at small talk.
Old Soviet Joke
Little Boy: What will Communism be like when perfected?
His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.
Little Boy: But what if there is a shortage of meat?
His Father: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."
A Russian, a Pole, an American, and an Israeli are interviewed.
The interviewer asks each, in turn, "Excuse me, what is your opinion on the current meat shortage?"
The Russian replies, "What's an 'opinion'?"
The Pole replies, "What's 'meat'?"
The American replies, "What's a 'shortage'?"
And the Israeli replies, "What's 'excuse me'?"
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker went to a restaurant in London.
The waiter approached the table and said, "Excuse me, but if you order the steak you might not get one, as there is a shortage". The Texan said, "What's a shortage?" The Russian said, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me?"
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.
A reporter comes up to them and says,
Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?
The Saudi says, excuse me , what is this word shortage?
The Russian says, excuse me, what's meat?
The North Korean says, excuse me, what's an opinion?
The New Yorker says, excuse me, what's excuse me?
Jared may not get free subway for life anymore...
But he will have no shortage of 6 inch or foot longs.
The United Nations world-wide survey
The United Nations sent out a survey to all the nations in the different continents of the world.
The survey went like this:
"We want your honest opinion on how to find a solution to the food shortage in the rest of the world"
The survey of course, turned out to be a total and abject failure:
The People in western Europe didn't know what the word 'shortage' meant. The people in eastern Europe had no idea what the expression 'honest' was supposed to mean. In china no one knew what 'opinion' was. In Africa they didn't know what 'food' was. In the middle east no one could figure out what 'solution' was; and in america they had no idea what 'the rest of the world' meant.
There is a spice shortage...
There is a shortage of spices all around the world. One entrepreneur saw the shortage coming and stocked up. His advisor was pushing to sell it soon so that people could have all of their favorite dishes. The entrepreneur looked at his advisor and said "what's the rush? We've got all the thyme in the world."
Texan, Russian and New Yorker walk into a restaurant
A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London.
The waiter tells them, "Excuse me -- if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"
There was an old professor who started every class with a v**... joke.
After one particularly n**... example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.
The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of w**... in India?
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
Wait, ladies, cried the professor, The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
Why didn't the president of India do anything about the bread shortage?
It was a naan-issue
UN sent a survey to children from different country: " Regarding the problem of food shortage in other countries, what's your opinion?" Surprisingly no kids understand the question.
American kids: "what's other countries ...?"
European kids: "what's shortage ...?"
Africa kids: "what's food ...?"
Chinese kids: "what's my opinion ...?"
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
This is armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: Is it possible to build socialism in Sahara desert?
We are answering: Possible, but you will end up with a shortage of sand.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
Have you heard about the haunted house shortage?
Seems like a lot of people are running out of them.
Did you hear how there's a national coin shortage?
The U.S. Mint's production of about 1 billion coins per month has been slowed due to COVID-19 safety precautions for the workers.
The good news is that they've overcome the bottlenecks and will be overclocking their machines for increased production. They plan on averaging 1.65 billion coins per month for the rest of the year 2020.
So I guess you could say the coins will return next quarter.
The 12 Days of Corona
In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 m**... Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery Store TP
A Russian, a Texan, and a New Yorker walk into a restaurant in France
The hostess says excuse me, due to a Mad Cow Disease there is a shortage of steak so we currently don't have any.
The Texan says What's a shortage?
The Russian says What's a steak
The New Yorker says What's excuse me?
Shortage of Heinz ketchup packets...
... now secretly caused by usage for hemorrhoids. The company will now market "A" Heinz for restaurants and "B" Heinz for hemorrhoids.
Just recalling the great toilet paper shortage and my Walmart experience.
I couldnt find toilet paper anywhere at Walmart, so I finally found an associate wearing the signature yellow vest, and asked, " Is there toilet paper anywhere in this store?"
She looked me up and down and said, "We've been out of toilet paper for over a week."
Imagine my embarrassment as I waddled back to the restroom with my pants around my ankles.
Boris saves Christmas .....
Driver shortages will soon be a thing of the past as Boris has personally ordered 50000 fridge magnets from Amazon today. A reporter asked how that will help to which trolley replies "well we know there are two poles in a magnet..."
Happy Friday!
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
An American, a Saudi Arabian, and a Chinese person were asked what their opinion on the global wood shortage was.
Unfortunately, none of them understood the question.
The American asked, what's a shortage?
The Saudi asked, what is wood?
The Chinese asked, what's an opinion?
During a water shortage, the government encouraged us to p**... in the shower to save the water from flushing
I now have to shower 3-4 times a day and it's not clear to me how this is helping with the water shortage…
There a man in the Soviet Union who always complained about the constant shortages
One day the KGB went to the apartment he lived and arrested him. The occupant of the apartment knew that he was gonna die so they didn't make a fuss out of it. But after a week much to the apartment's occupant surprise, the man returned relatively unharmed except for some bruises so the occupant asked him why he wasn't shot despite his constant criticism of the state. The man answered, "The Gulags have the same problem as we do, they've ran out of bullets!"
My wife was alarmed to find out that currently there is a t**... shortage in the US.
I said, Someone needs to pull some strings.
ever since COVID I haven't been able to get my favorite bagel.
This everything shortage is really is getting out of hand.
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
'Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure.
In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant;
in India they didn't know what 'honest' meant;
in Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant;
in China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant;
in the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant;
in South America they didn't know what 'please' meant;
in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.
The UN recently published the results of a poll. The topic was: "Please truthfully give your opinion on food shortage in the rest of the world."
Results:
Europeans requested explanation of the term "shortage".
Africans asked what "food" is.
Chinese inquired about the term "opinion".
Americans wondered what "rest of the world" might possibly mean.
And in Italy they are still discussing the meaning of the term "truthfully".
Vegetable shortage in the world.
How many vegetables does it take to kill a Vegan?
"NONE"
