Short Stuff Jokes
9 short stuff jokes and hilarious short stuff puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about short stuff that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Short Stuff Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good short stuff joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A Day Off
An man goes to see his boss..
Boss, he says, we're doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow before my mother-in-law arrives for Christmas. My wife needs me to help with cleaning, moving and hauling stuff.
COVID has us short-handed, the boss replies. I can't afford to give anyone a day off.
The man says, Thanks boss, I knew I could count on you!
How to catch a polar bear
This is the first joke I ever told my grandpa(I was so little I don't even remember it) but he told everyone he could about it up to the day he passed.
Do you know how to catch a polar bear grandpa?
No I don't short-stuff, how do you catch one?
You cut a hole in the ice and line it with peas, and when the polar bear goes to take a pea.
you kick him in the ice-hole.
He passed away 15 years ago this month and I still smile whenever I remember this joke.
Alcohol Addiction
My anxiety has been in overdrive since the start of the Pandemic. I feel like I need more and more alcohol everyday.
I am going through at least a liter of the hard stuff everyday.
I start using as soon as I wake up and don't stop until I go to bed each night.
My Dr. says I need to slow down now. Even in the short term my addiction is affecting my fertility, damaging my immune system, and dehydrating my skin.
Before the start of the Pandemic, I never would have thought my hands could consume more alcohol than my mouth.
Cleaning Day
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."
"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies, "I can't give you the day off."
"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
What are some very short, witty, funny, punny jokes than you can use to start a conversation with a girl? (no extreme s**... stuff)
But compliments would help
A man scuttled out to his garage and began pulling the lawn furniture out onto the driveway.
Shortly after he did the same with the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.
A curious neighbour wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.
No, replied the man. My son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date.
So what's with all the stuff? asked the neighbour.
Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him.
Man dies on a building site
The other builders gather around and discuss who should be the one to go and break it John's (dead guy) wife.
One volunteers, saying he is "good with this sensitive stuff".
A short while later he returns with 2 crates of beer.
"Where'd you get them", asks one of the builders.
"John's wife gave me them".
"You what, you go around there and tell her John's dead and she gives you beer?"
"Not exactly, I knocked the door and when she answered I said ' Hi, you must be John's widow'. 'No I am not' she told me, and I said, "I'll bet you a couple crates of beer you are".
Asking for her hand...
A guy went to his girlfriend's house for dinner to gain her father's permission for marriage. After the dinner, she and her mother went to the kitchen while her father and the guy sat down in the living room to talk this through.
The father said, "Okay son, I understand the purpose of this visit. You have come to ask permission for my daughter's hand in marriage from me. I will make this short and easy for you so we can get this finished quickly and talk about the real, interesting stuff like that game last night, haha. So, what I want from you is to summarise in just one sentence, the answer to this question: Why do you want her hand?"
The guy thinks for a while, and then replies, "Well, sir, you see... my hand has grown kind of tired by now..."
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