Following is our collection of funny Short jokes. There are some short story jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these short mean short people puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
He wakes up as he's being rushed through the hospital on a gurney by two nurses.
Am I in heaven? asks the disoriented priest.
No says one of the nurses. We're just taking a short cut through the children's ward.
..and as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. One of them, a tall blonde, had really fantastic, long, toned and tanned legs.
I gently nudged my wife and said "I bet you wish you still had legs like that!".
She got really upset with me..in fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store.
A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, along with a short skirt and sets on the sofa opposite her husband. At certain moments during the game, she would uncross her legs, just long enough for her husband to see. Finally after a number of times he asks "Are you wearing crotchless panties?" "Yesss." she says smiling seductively "Thank God." he says "I thought you were sitting on the cat."
Every "yo mamma" joke has been done thousands of different times, by thousands of different people.
Just like yo mamma.
Back in high school I was in an english class and a fellow student asked the teacher how long our essays should be.
He responded saying, "As long as a girl's skirt: long enough to cover everything that needs to be covered, but short enough to keep me interested."
I am too short.
There was a watermelon plantation which had been constantly spoiled by night thieves who were trespassing to steal melons. The owner came with an idea to repel the intruders: he put a warning sign on the plantation's fence: "Beware! Steal on your own risk! One melon below this fence is poisoned!"
The next day, there were no more missing melons and a short text added on the warning sign: "Now there are two".
She's got no legs.
"Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get six."
A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks, "Why the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?"
"They had eggs."
Life without parole
You can explore short miniskirt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean short shorty dad jokes. There are also short puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
because they can't reach it
A horse walks into a bar and says "bartender, scotch on the rocks please!"
The bartender, rubbing his eyes in disbelief says "did.. did you just talk?!"
"Yes I have, why?" Said the horse
"It's just, incredible! I've never seen a talking horse! You know, you should really go talk to the local circus, they would LOVE to have someone with your skills!"
The horse replied "why? Are they short on electricians?"
Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting.
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
So he can fit in his spaceship.
It's short for Grammar because he was supposed to be a period.
National Dyslexics Association
I'm too short to play
:(
They see a stag about a hundred feet away. The Physicist takes a shot, but he forgets to allow for wind resistance and the arrow falls five feet short. The Engineer takes his shot, but he adds too much of a fudge factor and the arrow's five feet too far.
The statistician goes "Nice job guys, we got him!"
There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"
Because they usually can't reach it anyways.
Girls are wearing skirts so short you can almost see their dicks.
We call her Summer for short.
but he was short of $1.
He saw a homeless man and said "Can you give me a dollar, I have to buy a Ferrari."
The homeless man gave him two dollars and said "Get one for me too."
Cus he's got little legs
"Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"
"Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."
The first lady had a stroke, the second lady had a stroke, but the third lady's arm was too short to reach.
Doc: Short answer. Yes.
Patient: What's the long answer?
Doc: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssss.
When it's thrown from a short distance.
You'd be way too short and weak.
Long enough to cover everything but short enough to keep your attention.
When I came across a group of women in short skirts.
I looked over to my wife and said "Ooh, I bet you wish you had legs like *those*"
She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was upset; I heard her sniffle as I wheeled her up the ramp into Waitrose.
Hope it doesn't run in the family because my mums got it too
Short word.
Long sentence.
They just get really excited about scissors.
She said, "It's not in yet".
I replied, "YES, That's The Book!"
Next thing you know they'll be saying smoking weed causes short term memory loss.
A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay
And the plumber goes: "I know sir. I used to be a doctor myself"
Um, yeh, they don't call.
Source: I'm not a tall man.
I bought a nice bottle of scotch and put it in my basket.. I was afraid that if I fell over the bottle might break so instead of risking it I drank the bottle right there.
Turned out to be a smart thing to do because I must have fallen 12 times on my short way back home..
Friends.
The host asked me: What are you?
Me: Oh, I'm dressed as a harp.
Host: Your costume is too short to be a harp
Me: Are you calling me a lyre?
Let me start by saying my girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. I am 39 and my girlfriend is 19, the amount of abuse I got from a group of teenagers inside the restaurant was nothing short of vile.....comments like PEADO NONCE KIDDY FIDDLER
It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary.
Because he has small legs.
I thought, that's a little condescending.
Bobert: "No."
After a short trial, I was found not guilty.
A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach.
"Hi, my name is Ed." he says.
"What's it short for?" she asks.
Thoughtful, he looks down a moment, before answering,
"I dunno, it's always been like that."
A short time later, the husband returns with six cartons of milk.
Why did you buy six cartons of milk? the wife asks.
He replies, They had avocados.
It's called making the little things count.
what does smoking Marijuana do?
A man is sitting in a cafe when suddenly someone he knows comes running to him in panic shouting "Quick, your wife is cheating on you with your best friend in the forest". The man runs out of the cafe angry and furious to see for himself and returns after a short while and sits back down on his chair. The people in the cafe and the guy that told him are confused and ask what happened. The man says "this son of a bitch was just exaggerating, firstly, it was just a couple of trees he made it out like it was a forest, secondly, best friend he says?! It turns out I don't even know the guy". Thank you
I guess she'll have to flip a coin....
Heads or Tales.
Short and insecure
A blonde comes up to him and says, wow what a great chest you have! The man replies, Thats one hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes off his pants. The blonde says, Wow! What great calf's you have! The man then replies, that's two hundred pounds of dynamite babe. The man then takes of his underwear. The blonde runs off screaming in fear. When the man catches up to her he asks, Why did you run away? The blonde replies, I didn't wanna be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!
Man, that sentence was way too long.
Step One: Be a billionaire
Step Two: Short sell $GME
A stormtrooper
because they have short arms?
I'd pick the 400 meters, it's too long for a sprint and it's too short to be a true endurance race.
Because of the short arms
Despite not having insurance, he left the hospital without any financially crippling debt that would haunt him for the rest of his life and compromise his future savings.
A stormtrooper.
In days past, pre- phones and faxes and emails, a group of young ladies went on a picnic.
Unfortunately, the picnic was cut short as one of their group, Anna, sat down on an anthill and was rushed to hospital (Accident and Emergency in the UK).
Her friends needed to inform Anna's parents, but only had enough money to send a six word telegram (in addition to the address).
The telegram read, "Anacin hospital adamant bitter asinine places."
I asked him what her name was while we had Buffalo burgers, and he revealed *his* name. I made sure to cut the dinner short after that. My wife thought it was because I was ashamed of him, but that wasn't true at all.
I was just excited to say "Bye son" to my Bi-son after he finished eating his Bison.
It's because he's got little legs!
Well, to cut a long story short...
One day I accidentally spilt some water on it and something caused it's legs to retract. It was a Short Sir Kit
Short people with umbrellas
Jokejoke jooooooooooooooooooke
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the short translate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working short i may be short but piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.