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Shore Jokes

154 shore jokes and hilarious shore puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shore that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Shore Jokes

Short shore jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shore humour may include short marine jokes also.

  1. Why don't pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later.
  2. What's the Difference between NHL Players and the jersey shore Girls? NHL Players shower after three periods.
  3. Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap? So just in case they go overboard they can wash up on shore!
    Arrrrgh
  4. Why didn't the pirates bathe before walking the plank? They figured they'd wash up on shore later.
  5. Fishing There is a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot
  6. Pirate, land lubber Yarrrr,
    Why be it that land-lubbers are never confident?
    For they are always on shore...
  7. It's really hard for me to tell people what my wife does for a living. She sells sea shells by the sea shore.
  8. There's no easy way to say this..... She sells sea shells on the sea shore, the shells that she sells are sea shells for sure.
  9. What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.
    Sea what I did there?
    I'm shore you did.
    Laugh, you son of a beach!
  10. A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a toad on the shore, "Hey, look at me, I'm on a lake!" The toad yells back, "Naw man, you're in de-nile"

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Shore joke, A frog is sitting on a lily pad in the middle of what is clearly a river. He shouts to a <a href="/t


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about shore can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of shore puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Shore One Liners

Which shore one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shore? I can suggest the ones about surf and shell.

  1. Pirates never shower before they walk the plank. They just wash up on shore afterward.
  2. I think someone just called me a "beach"... But I can't be shore.
  3. Someone asked me about my opinion on beaches I said that I wasn't shore.
  4. Why did the boat want to stay close to the shore? Pier pressure
  5. You guys hear about the half of a mermaid that washed up on shore? It's only a tale...
  6. Why do waves always head toward land? Because it's the only direction they're shore of.
  7. The beach is very confident... ...in fact its 100% shore.
  8. can someone please tell me where the land meets the water geographer: shore
  9. What do you call an uncertain beach? I'm not shore.
  10. Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? They just wash up on shore.
  11. I used to be that area where water meets land... But now I'm not so shore.
  12. Why is the ocean always blue? Because the shore never waves back.
  13. I thought Jersey Shore was going to be about Jersey cows. I was right.
  14. Why does the moon raise and lower the tides over and over again? It has to make shore
  15. I was so glad I finally made it to shore... I had been wading forever.

Washed Shore Jokes

Here is a list of funny washed shore jokes and even better washed shore puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Last time I flew on Malaysian Airlines, I decided not to shower first. I figured I could just wash up on shore.
  • Why didn't John Denver take a shower before he went flying? He figured he'd just wash up on shore.
  • Why did JFK Jr. not take a shower before his trip? He figured he would just wash up on shore.
  • Why didn't the pirate take a shower before walking the plank? He'll just wash up on shore later.
  • I need karma but here's a joke Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank
    Cause they wash up on shore
  • Why doesn't a pirate take a shower before he walks the plank? 'Cause he'll just wash up on shore later.
  • A big hurricane came by and washed a beach away... The sea rises by and says "Oy! Beach! Where's the rest of ya!?". The beach replies: "I'm not shore anymore."
  • Why don't pirates shower before walking the plank? Because they wash up on shore.
  • Why don't Syrian kids ever take showers? They wash up on shore.
  • why didn't natalie wood take a shower on the boat? she wanted to wash up on shore...

Jersey Shore Jokes

Here is a list of funny jersey shore jokes and even better jersey shore puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • This Hurricane should have been called Snooki... The're both heading to the Jersey Shore with plans to blow everyone in a 50 mile radius.
  • Snooki's kind of like Hurricane Sandy... She's large, slow-moving, an has blown just about everyone in the Jersey Shore.
  • I was watching Jersey Shore the other day when I thought... I didn't know I had animal planet.
  • Jersey Shore star Mike Sorrentino was indicted on tax charges today The Situation does not look good legally.
  • What did Michael Sorrentino say when they asked him if he would be ok with wearing adult diapers on some of the new episodes of Jersey Shore? It depends on The Situation.
  • If two teams of football players hosted a game at a beach.. Would it be a Jersey Shore?
  • Did you hear Mike Sorrentino from the Jersey Shore is pleading guilty to tax evasion? You could say he's in a Bad "Situation".
  • How did Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola of the Jersey Shore direct the people looking for the store that sells grass seed? "Go to the LUUUUUAWWWWWWNNNNNN SHUUUUUUUUUUAWWWWWPPPPPP!"
  • Did ya hear Mike from Jersey shore missed his waxing appointment?
  • Geometry is like Jersey Shore Allways tanning, sinning, and consigning contracts.
Shore joke, Geometry is like Jersey Shore

Share Hilarious Shore Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about shore you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean ship jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make shore prank.

Two Jewish banker escaped from that sinking Italian cruise ship

They were both clinging to a life preserver. o**..., knowing the other can't swim, says, " I'm going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?"
The second Jewish banker says, "how could you talk business at a time like this?"

What's the difference between h**... and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot h**....

Greek/German joke I heard recently

So Angela Merkel decides to try to shore up some Euro solidarity by taking a vacation in Greece. When she gets to the border crossing, the guard looks over her papers and asks her "occupation?" "No," she replies, "just a vacation this time."

A Fishing Tale


On the shore of the Indian Ocean a raggedy Indian fisherman lay dozing with a hat over his face. Beside him two fishing lines were stuck into the sand.
Up comes an American.
'What are you sleeping for?' says the American. 'You'd be better off catching fish.'
'What for?' asks the fisherman.
'What do you mean, what for? You'd catch some fish, you'd sell them and with the money you'd buy yourself a trawler.
The trawler would catch even more fish. You'd sell it and buy yourself an even bigger boat. You'd catch still more fish. You'd sell it.
Then you'd build yourself a fish processing factory . . . and get rich.
And then you could lie on the beach and sleep.'
The fisherman pulled his hat even further down over his face.
'But that's what I'm doing now.'

an elderly woman's dog jumps off a retaining wall

a German tourist passes by and see the elderly woman and decides to jump in after the the dog. He swims the dog back to shore and the woman comes up to him and asks him if hes a vet and the tourist replys "Vet? im vucking soaked".

Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement?

So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.

A sailor gets shore leave after 4 months at sea, and goes into a bar

He says to the bartender, "Man, I want to have s**... in the worst way!"
The bartender replies, "How about standing up in a hammock, during a rainstorm?"

Blonde, Brunette, Redhead

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are trapped on an island 1000 kilometers from shore, and the only way to get back is to swim.
The brunette goes 200 kilometers, gets tired, and drowns.
The redhead goes 650 kilometers, gets tired, and also drowns.
Then the blonde gets to 999 kilometers, gets tired, turns around and swims back.

A lawyer and the pope die at the same time and go to heaven...

The pope is first and meets St. Peter at the gates to heaven. St. Peter says welcome to heaven and gives him a nice little plot of land with a decent sized house. The lawyer is next and St. Peter directs him to this huge mansion on the shore of a beautiful lake with anything the lawyer could want. The lawyer asks St. Peter "Why do I get this mansion with anything I could ask for and the holiest man on earth gets a small house?"
St. Peter replies by saying "We've got hundreds of popes up here, but you're the only lawyer!"

Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...

And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island that is 10 kilometers from shore...

They all agree that there is no point waiting to die on the island, so they decide to swim for shore.
The brunette goes first, swims three kilometers and drowns.

The redhead goes next, swims five kilometers and drowns.
The blonde goes last. She swims NINE miles...
...gets tired and swims back.

What did one ocean say to the other?

Nothing- they just waved.
Are you shore you get it?
Do you sea what I did there?
I should shell some better puns
But I cant dolphink of any!
And what would be the porpose of that?
When Im having a whale of a time saying these?
Sorry if these jokes are making you crabby.

Do you know what one ocean said to the other ocean?

Nothing, they just waved.
sea what i did there?
I'm shore you got it
come on, dont be a beach

Two p**... go fishing

These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing on a lake. They are amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to the other, "We'll have to come back here tomorrow!" The other says "well, just make sure you mark the spot!" After they get back on shore, the first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat. The other p**... says, "You idiot! How do you know we'll get the same boat tomorrow?"

What did the sea say to the shore?

Nothing, he just waved.

In honor of The Challenger disaster: proof that I have no soul.

How do we know Christa McAuliffe had dandruff?
Her head and shoulders washed up on the shore.
It was said that Christa's pupils were hit the hardest... by the instrument panel.
As she left for work that day she said to her husband "you feed the dog, i'll feed the fish."
How do you know her eyes were blue?
One blew one way the other blew another way.
Christa used to teach Social Studies ...now she's History
What does NASA stand for? Need another seven astronauts.

What did one ocean say to the other?

I'm not completely shore, but it must have been pretty deep.

Two blondes are standing in opposite sides of the river.

One yells:
- HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SHORE?!
The other answers:
- YOU ARE IN THE OTHER SHORE!

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette stranded on an island...

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 25 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

A Jewish grandmother is walking on the beach with her grandson...

Suddenly, a rogue wave comes in and sweeps the grandson out to sea. Distraught, the grandmother looks to the sky and says, "Oh god, i have always been true and faithful to you. Please bring my grandson back." And with that, another wave comes in and deposits the grandson safely on the shore. The grandmother once again looks to the sky and says, "He had a hat."

I'm not a beach,

but shore.
Cheesy and overused, but always makes me laugh.

What Supreme Court decision applies to fishermen bringing a small boat to shore?

Row v. Wade

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you did.
Let MINNOW if you are not getting it.
SHELL I continue??
No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead.
Thanks ladies and gentlefish

I saw a lake monster!!! He was walking up out of the water and onto the shore!!!

Littorally!!!

A man is traveling to the coast of South Western Asia, and he asks his friend if she wants to go with him. She says:

"Yemen, shore."

What did the ocean said to the shore?

Nothing, it just waved.

People always ask me what my wife does for a living, but it's just too hard for me to say.

You see...
She sells sea shells by the sea shore.

A Navy captain and his first mate are looking through their telescopes.

The first mate claims he can see beautiful island sands in the east.
"Are you positive?" Asks the captain.
"Pretty shore" replies the first mate.

Two old Polish guys were talking about how tough their childhoods were...

"When I was a boy, my father taught me to swim the old fashioned way! He just took me out to the middle of a lake and threw me overboard!"
"Wow! That must have been scary!"
"Well, it was easy enough swimming back to shore, once I got myself out of that burlap sack."

Mary Pennington, the oldest survivor of the Titanic, died this week at the age of 106.

Sad in any case, but what really made it tragic is that she was only a quarter mile from shore.

A rich, dumb Husband and wife are taking their first trip on their new Yacht.

They have sailed far from the shore, and the two are sitting in chairs, looking out towards the water.
"Gee, I just love this new Yakt!" The man says.
"Erm... Honey, the "c" is silent." His wife responds.
The man takes a sip from a tall glass, before responding "you're right, it's very tranquil."

A businesswoman from Connecticut has a meeting in Alabama.

Her meeting done, she stops at a local bar for a quick drink.
Her bartender, noting her northern accent, says "Yew shore talk purty. Whar did you go to school?"
She smiles and says, "Yale."
He says, "YEW SHORE TALK PURTY. WHAR DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL?"

Why is the beach so confident?

It's really shore.....

There are these 2 waves in the ocean

One says to the other, "Let'**... the beach." The other one says "Shore."

The Coast Guard recently changed their minimum height requirements to 6'.

That way if the boat sinks everyone can just walk to shore.

Did you hear about the guy who drowned in an ocean of grape juice?

He tried swimming to shore but his efforts were fruitile.

Did you hear the beach party was getting moved?

Yeah, I'm not sure it's a shore thing.

Why did the beached whale go to the dentist?

He had shore teeth

"My wife has a stall on the beach..."

"My wife has a stall on the beach where you can buy flags of any country"
"Does she sell Seychelles by the sea shore?"

Jesus and Moses are walking by the Red Sea when Moses goes

"Hey Jesus, check this out. I still got it!" and parts the waters.
Jesus responds "That's nothing!" and starts walking out on the water. He takes a few steps and starts sinking.
Embarrassed, he swims to shore and Moses drags him out. "Don't worry", Moses says, "last time you did this you didn't have those holes in your feet."

Some pirates are sailing off the coast of Madagascar

The captain points to the shore and says to his first mate:
"Do you see those crazy looking lemur things?"
To which the first mate replied:
"Aye aye, I eye aye-aye"

Why did the midget wear a beach top?

Because it was a shore tee.

A fisherman is fishing by the river shore when a man rushes towards him, catches his breath and says:

Man: "Excuse me, have you seen a woman pass by this area?"
Fisherman: "One with a white dress with black stripes?"
Man: "Yes, exactly! She must not be very far away, right?"
Fisherman: "I don't think so, the current isn't very strong today."

An American is sailing in German waters when his boat starts to take in lots of water.

Realizing he won't be able to make it to shore, he calls the German Coast Guard.
"I'm sinking, I am sinking!"
The operator replies "Vhat are you sinking about?"

Was on my way to the club when my wife told me pick up the kid at the shore

Son on the beach

My friend was showing me his new golf ball.

He tells me, "This ball is amazing, you can't lose it. If it goes in the rough, it makes a beeping sound. It glows in the dark so you can find it when its getting dark. If it goes in the water, it will float and make its way back to the shore."
I said to him, "That's incredible, where did you get it?"
"Found it"

What did Sea say to land when he asked if she wanted to meet up sometime

Shore

I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.

After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo c**... con.

I was in the middle of a lake in a canoe with my girl friend last week when suddenly the boat sprung a leak. We had to decide whether to try and get the boat back to shore or abandon ship.

We had a real row v. wade debate that day.

An often-forgotten but great benefit to using Malaysia Airlines is that you never have to shower before boarding

They always let you wash up on shore later

It's National Talk Like A Pirate Day; so what did one sailor say to the other when he yelled 'Land Ahoy!'

arrr ye shore

What do you get when you cross the ocean with sand?

Honestly, I'm not that *shore* myself.

A landscaper is adding a bunch of sand along the edge of a pond...

He looks at the guy who owns the pond and asks "do you really want me doing this?"
The man snaps back, "YES! JUST KEEP WORKING!"
The landscaper replies "ok! Jeez! I'm just makin' shore!"

A well endowed woman was swimming at the beach when she lost her bikini top.

The woman awkwardly covered her chest and ran back towards the shore.
A little boy saw the woman and said, "If you're going to drown those puppies, can I at least keep the one with the cute little pink nose?"

I met Karen at the shore.

What a beach!

An elephant is drinking from a stream

An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?"
"Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said.
"Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?" Asked the Zebra
"Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.

A ship sailing past a remote island spots a man who had been stranded there for several years.

The captain goes to shore and notices three huts.
What's the first hut for? He asks?
That's my house says the castaway.
what's the second hut for?
That's my church.
And the third?
Oh, that? That's the church I used to go to.

Shore joke, A ship sailing past a remote island spots a man who had been stranded there for several years.

jokes about shore

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these shore jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.