Shopping Cart Jokes
53 shopping cart jokes and hilarious shopping cart puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shopping cart that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Shopping Cart Short Jokes
Short shopping cart jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shopping cart humour may include short shopping bag jokes also.
- What does a shopping cart and a wheelchair have in common? They both can be used to carry vegetables....
- Me: "Alexa, add tinfoil for hats to my shopping cart." Alexa: "I ordered yesterday after I noticed you had 3 sheets left in your upper right cupboard. You're all good."
- Grandpa: "Back in the day, you could walk into a grocery store with $ 2 and leave with a full shopping cart. But nowadays they have security cameras everywhere!"
- I ran in to a midget with my shopping cart at Walmart... Me: "I'm really sorry. Are you alright?"
Midget: "I'm not happy!"
Me: "Well, which one are you?" - The British are very strange people. They call pants 'trousers', shopping carts 'trolleys' and 6.7 raccoons in a human suit 'Prince Phillip'.
- What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping cart? Sometimes, the shopping cart has a mind of its own.
- Why don't auto repair shops fix golf carts? Because they work with parts for cars, not carts for pars.
- How long does it take a tweaker to go shopping? An hour 5 minutes for the Ramen noodles and foil. 55 minutes to fix the squeaky shopping cart wheel.
- There was a woman in psych ward who escaped and stole all of Wal-Marts shopping carts. It's clear, she's a basket case.
- I work as quality assurance at a shopping cart factory. When a I see a cart without wheels yet, I usually fix it, but sometimes I let it slide.
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Shopping Cart One Liners
Which shopping cart one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shopping cart? I can suggest the ones about grocery cart and carts.
- Aldi's low prices aren't only on food. They have shopping carts for just a quarter!
- Why was the shopping cart sad? It was getting pushed around.
- Where do pianists put their groceries while they shop? In a Chopin cart.
- If you find a shopping cart in your bathroom, you're either homeless... Or a parent
- Me: let's go this way. Shopping cart: no.
- After shopping at the superstore, my cart looked very empty. There was still mushroom.
- Why did they invent the shopping cart? To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
Shopping Cart Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about shopping cart you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shopping mall jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shopping cart pranks.
A man and his wife go grocery shopping...
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
Husband down.. Aisle 7
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price..'
WalMart's own brand of wine
WalMart announced that sometime in 2013 it will begin offering customers a new discount item: WalMart's own brand of wine. The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with Ernest & Julio Gallo Winery of California to produce the wines at affordable prices in the $2 to $5 range.
Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to put a bottle of the WalMart brand into their shopping carts but, 'There is a market for inexpensive wine,' said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing at University of Arkansas, Bentonville. 'However, branding will be very important.'
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name for the WalMart wine brands and varieties.
The top surveyed names in order of popularity were:
10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe it's not Vinegar
2. Grape Expectations
1. Nasti Spumante
The beauty of Walmart wine is that it can be served with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).
P.S. Don't bother writing back to tell me that this is a hoax. I know possum is not white meat.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart...
...'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket.
What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
The husband says, 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'
Did you guys read the article in the paper about what's been happening at the local supermarket?...
Well, in order to cut costs a week or so ago they bought about ten shiny new robots to go around and collect the shopping carts and trash the customers leave behind in the parking lots, basically replacing some of the jobs human employees get paid to do. The article goes on to talk about how, after a few days, the supermarket owner noticed a lot car accidents occuring in the parking lot which he finally learned was caused by glare from the robots. To solve this issue he decided to paint all of the robots black. The next morning none of the robots showed up for work.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local grocery store.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife.
They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
Why did the cow exit the grocery store with 6 carts teeming with food?
She went shopping on four empty stomachs.
A husband and wife are grocery shopping
The husband grabs a case of beer and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks his wife.
"It's on sale, just $19.99!"
"Put it back, we can't afford it."
Dejected, the husband puts it back and they continue. A few aisles over, the wife picks out a face cream and puts it in their cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's $40, but it makes me beautiful and s**... for you" says the wife with a smile.
"So does the beer, and at half the price."
2 h**... walking through a field.
2 h**... are walking through a field when they come across an old well. They start talking to each other asking how deep the well is. One of the h**... grabs a nearby shopping cart and tosses it down the well. While they are listening for a splash a billy goat comes charging right at them, they jump out of the way and the goat runs and jumps right down the well. A little while later a farmer comes walking by asking if either of them have seen the goat. The h**... says "you're not gonna believe this, That goat your looking for came charging right at us then jumped down this well." Then the farmer says "That's impossible. I had it chained up to a shopping cart."
One of everything.
A man walks into a grocery store and grabs a shopping cart. He grabs one egg, one tomato, one head of lettuce, one steak, one banana, one apple, and one of everything else in the store.
He walks up to the counter and starts putting his items on the belt. After the cashier gives him a weird look, she says, "You must be single."
He says, "I am. How did you know?"
She says, "Because you're extremely ugly."
A woman went to a grocery store..
She gets a shopping cart and went to buy the stuff she needs.
First, she bought a tray of eggs.
Next, 3 bottles of milk.
And last, lettuce.
Now that she's done, she went to the cashier and puts her groceries on the conveyer belt.
The clerk, saw the stuff she bought.
He noticed the tray of eggs, the bottles of milk, and the lettuce.
The clerk told the woman, "You must be single."
And the woman, was so shocked and surprised on what the clerk said, "Yes, I am single! How do you know?" asked the woman with a shocked expression.
And the clerk responded, "Because you're ugly."
A man and his son were at the grocery store today...
They were using a cart that had a child-size car attached to the front with the kid inside. While I was shopping, I noticed the dad started hitting the cart into the wall, it was a pretty bizarre sight to see. Before I could intervene, the kid yells,
Kid: DAAAAAD, stop!!! What are you doing?! Stooop!
Kid: Daaaad?! We're not going anywhere! What are you doing?
The dad finally stops after a minute, looks his son straight in the eye and says, as a matter of fact,
Dad: "I don't know son, you're the one who's driving."
I've never laughed so hard while eavesdropping, dad jokes are great. Happy Saturday!
I was doing some shopping at the supermarket...
...and had a cart full of groceries and a lovely bouquet of flowers. Coincidentally, my wife walked in just as I was checking out.
She noticed the flowers I was buying and jokingly said "Those had better be for me!"
The teenager at the register turned and said "Even if they weren't, they definitely are now!"
A woman walks into Walmart
She's wearing very dirty clothes, smells bad and looks like she is in a horrible situation. She has 2 kids who look worse in her shopping cart
The store clerk says: Wow, are they twins?
Woman: No you idiot, they obviously look 2 years apart.
Clerk: Oh, they don't look alike. I just couldn't believe you had s**... twice.
What is the difference between a girl and a shopping cart?
I wrap up my meat before I put it in the shopping cart.
Where is my wife
A young man and an old man bumped shopping carts at the grocery store.
Young man: I am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going. I was looking for my wife.
Old man : Sorry. I was also looking for my wife.
Young man: Well maybe we can look together. My wife is 24. She is 5'2". She has short black hair. She is wearing a pink tube top and blue Jeans. What does your wife look like?
Old man: It doesn't matter. Lets look for yours.
Heard this gem from a coworker yesterday
A man and his wife are out grocery shopping when the husband stops in beer section and gets a 24-pack for $10.
The husband puts the 24-pack in the cart and his wife stops him and say "We can't get that, we have to stick to the budget!" so he puts it back on the shelf.
Later on the wife stops in the cosmetics section and gets a container of face cream for $20. When she puts it in the cart, her husband stops her and says "We can't get that honey, it's not in the budget".
The wife says
"This face cream is what I use to look good!"
The husband says
"Well the beer makes you look good for half the price!"
I went to the supermarket today and got one of those shopping carts with the spinny wheel.
I was forced to shop in circles for hours.
I went shopping with my wife.
Going down one of the aisles I noticed they had beer on sale $10 a case. I put it in the cart and she told me to put it back we couldn't afford it.
A couple aisles later she picks up a jar of face cream for 20 dollars.
I asked how come we can afford this and not the beer.
She said this makes my face pretty.
I said so will a case of beer for half the price.
A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.
'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.
'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and
so they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of
face cream and puts it in the basket.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.
'It's my face cream. It makes me look s**... and beautiful for you
when we're making love,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser ... at half the price.'
A husband and wife were grocery shopping ...
A husband and wife were grocery shopping when the husband picked up a case of Budweiser and placed it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asked the wife.
"It's on sale. Only $10 for a case," he replies.
"We can't afford it. Put it back," demands the wife. They continue shopping and a few minutes later the wife puts a $20 jar of face cream into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
"So does the Budweiser and it's half the price," retorts the husband.
A woman is in line at the grocery store when a very drunk man behind her looks the items in her cart and slurs "you mus' be single...!"
She was set to ignore him when she notices her shopping. There's nothing in her cart that would indicate her relationship status...
Curiosity gets the better of her and she answers him
"I am actually, but, how did you know?"
The drunk straightens up slightly and says "cos you're f**...' ugly...!"
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket.
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They carry on with their shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful", replies the wife.
Her husband retorts, "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
Prices are going up
Two housewives met in the local supermarket. One had filled her shopping cart with Vaseline. She explained, They are going to raise the price so, I'm stocking up.
The other woman replied, I'd never go to such extremes to save money. I'm not that tight.
A husband and a wife are shopping
The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in the cart. What do you think you're doing? says the wife. There on sale, 24 cans for $10 says the husband. Put it back we can't afford it demands the wife. They continue shopping. A few isles later, the woman picks up a $20 face cream and puts it in the cart. What do you think you're doing? Says the husband. It's my face cream, it makes me beautiful replies the wife. Her husband retorts
So does the Budweiser, and it's half the price .
Husband and wife went to market....
Husband saw an action: "24-pack of beer for 20 €!", He quickly grabbed it and dropped it into shopping cart. Wife saw him and asked: "What are you doing?" He replies: "It's d**... cheap, 24 beers for 20 €!" Wife rolled with eyes and angry said: "That's to expensive and worthless. Remove that!" Husband obeyed her.
Few minutes later wife took make-up pack for 40€. Husband saw her and asked: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's more expensive than 24 beers! Why do you need that?" Wife:"Darling, i want that to make myself looking better and to get you in the mood for making love." Husband:"24 beers can make me h**... faster and cheaper!!!"
A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans" he replies.
"Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."
A husband and wife were grocery shopping...
He picks up a case of beer and puts it in the cart. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only £10 for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them", demands the wife. They continue shopping. Later on, she puts a £20 jar of face cream in the basket. "What are you doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. He said, "So does 24 cans of beer and it's half the price."
A man and his wife are shopping together.
The man puts a case of beer in the cart and she says Put that back on the shelf!
So they continue shopping and the wife puts face cream in the cart and he asks What the h**... do you need that for? The wife says It makes me look pretty! The husband replies So does the beer and it's on sale for half price!