shopkeeper Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious shopkeeper puns

A Woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $15. She asks why the last one is so cheap?

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.

When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

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I went into a pet shop and asked for twelve bees. The shopkeeper counted out thirteen and handed them over.

You've given me one too many.

That one is a freebie.

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Bet on a bullet (slightly NSFW)

A man walks into a gun shop.

"I want to buy a new scope and bullets for my rifle"

"sure" said the owner handing over a scope "if you look out the window, this scope is so powerful you can see into my house"

The man looks, then turns to the shopkeeper and says "sorry mate there is a man in there and a woman who i can only assume is your wife?"

"cheating, bitch!" the shopkeeper said, putting two bullets on the counter he said "Shoot that guys prick off and you can have the scope for free, shoot that bitches' head off and I'll give you free bullets for the rest of your life"

The guy looks through the scope again and says "what do I get if I only use one shot?"

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A little girl walks into a pet shop

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

The shopkeeper bends down to her level, smiling, "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby, or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl leans forward and whispers, "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

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A lumberjack walks into a shop to buy a chainsaw...

The shopkeeper picks one out and says "this one can cut down 5 trees in 2 minutes". The lumberjack is impressed by this and buys the chainsaw. 2 days later, the lumberjack comes back to the shop with the chainsaw and asks for a refund.

"This is a complete rip-off, I only managed to cut down 1 tree over the space of an hour!"

The shopkeeper takes the chainsaw and turns it on only for the lumberjack to suddenly jump in surprise.

"What's that noise?"

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The toilet brush

A man walks into a store looking for a toilet brush. The store owner shows him a variety of brushes at various pricepoints. The man thinks for a little while, then buys the cheapest one.

The next day the man is back at the store. "Were you unhappy with your purchase?" asks the shopkeeper. "We have other models that might work better."

The man agrees and buys a little more expensive one.

The next day the man is back yet again. The shopkeeper, visually puzzled on how a toilet brush can be such a big deal, asks "What's the matter, didn't like the new one either?"

"Well" replies the man. "To be honest it *was* pretty effective. But I gotta say, I prefer toilet paper!"

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A woman bought her husband an anniversary gift..

A woman goes to a pet shop to get a pet for her husband for their anniversary. The shopkeeper asks "Hi, what can I do for you?"

The woman explains she wants to buy her husband a pet for her anniversary. The shopkeeper says, "Well, I have this parrot that can speak pretty well"

The woman declines and asks "Well... what else do you have?"

"Well I have a dog who will get you the paper everyday." Explains the shopkeeper.

The woman says "No I dont think he would want to walk the dog everyday, what else?"

"In the back I have a frog that gives blowjobs" He says

The woman is pleased "That's perfect! I can get a good nights sleep without having to give him blowjobs at night"

So the woman gives the gift to her husband and explains what the frog can do. That night, the woman slept very well only to wake up in the middle of the night to hear pots and pans downstairs. She goes downstairs to see her husband pulling pots and pans from the cabinets.

"What on earth are you doing!?" She proclaims

To which her husband responds "If I can teach this thing to cook, you're out of here!"

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A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS...

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea.

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop.

It read… MAIN ENTRANCE.

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A shopkeeper was dismayed...

when a store opened next door with a huge sign that said, BEST DEALS! To make things worse, another store opened on the other side with a huge sign reading LOWEST PRICES! He nearly panicked until he had the idea to put up his own sign, bigger that the other two, that read, MAIN ENTRANCE.

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A man walks into a hardware store

So my grandpa just told this joke, it goes something like this:

A man walks into a hardware store looking for some nails, the shopkeeper walks up to him and asks how long do you want them mate? , the man responds nah I wanna keep em

Not sure if this has been posted before but I thought it was funny :)

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Wittle Wabbit

little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?"

And the shopkeeper gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks: "Do you want a wittle white wabby or a soft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute wittle bwown wabby over there?"

The little girl puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice: "I don't fink my pyfon really giveths a thit."

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Alligator Shoes

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'


The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?'


The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.


He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blond took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.


Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.


Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration . . .

"Sonofabitch!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"

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So there was a shopkeeper who didn't liked Chinese

One day a Chinese man came to him and asked:

-I want buy dog food.

-I won't sell you dog food unless you come with dog.

-But I not want to come to shop with a dog.

Later he came with his dog and got his dog food.

The next day he came again and said:

-I want buy cat food.

-I won't sell you cat food unless you come with a cat.

-But I not want to come to shop with cat.

Later he came with his cat and got his cat food.

The next day he came with a paper bag:

-Put hand inside.

-Why?

-Just put hand inside.

-OK.

-Warm?

-Yes.

-Soft?

-Yes.

-I want buy toilet paper.

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Methylated Spirit

A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.

"Bottle of methylated spirit please."

"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."

"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"

"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.

"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"

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Magic sandals

A married couple were on holiday in Jamaica . They were touring around the market-place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, 'You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.'

So the married couple walked in.
The Jamaican said to them, 'I 'ave some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey makes you wild at sex.'

Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the Sex God that he was.

The husband asked the man, 'How could sandals make you a sex freak?'

The Jamaican replied, 'Just try dem on, Mon.'

Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in and tried them on.

As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen before!!

In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Jamaican, bent him over the table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Jamaican's thighs.

The Jamaican began screaming: 'You got dem on de wrong feet!'

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The one to your dumb friend...

A guy sees an ad on the window of a store with the words "Selling brains". Curious, he walks in and asks the shopkeeper what kind of brains he's selling.

Shopkeeper: "I've got Einstein's brain who won a Nobel Prize and discovered the Universe's secret equation. He was the world most brilhant physicist. I can sell it for 3k."

Guy: "What about that one?"

SK: " That's the brain of Galileu Galilei. He was the great astronomer who supported that the Earth revolves around the Sun. He was the father of modern science. It's worth 2k."

Guy: "And what about that one?"

SK: "That's the brain of [*random friend*] . It costs 20k."

Guy: "20k?!? That's a lot! Why is it worth that much?"

SK: "Well, it has never been used."

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Two explorers are lost in the desert...

...they're dying of thirst, and have been wandering for days. Finally, off in the far distance, they see a camp of beautiful tents. Hoping that it is not a mirage, they crawl desperately towards it. On arriving, they find that it's a market. They stagger up to the first tent they see, and say to the shopkeeper "Water, please! Water, we're dying of thirst!"

The shopkeeper says to them "I am sorry, my friends- I have no water. All I have is this bowl, full of jelly, sponge and custard, topped with cream and shaved chocolate."

Perplexed, but undeterred, the explorers stagger to the next stand, only to be met with the same answer. At all of the dozens of stands in this market, all they are offered are these bowls, not a drop of water to be had.

As they leave the market, one explorer says to the other "Well, that was very strange".

The second explorer replies: "Yes, it was a trifle bazaar".

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Constipation

A nun walks into liquor store and asks for a half whiskey. The shopkeeper looks at her inquisitively, she adds,

"It's for Mother Superior's constipation."

So the shopkeeper says, "OK."

She pays for the whiskey and leaves. Two hours later, the shopkeeper closes the store and walks home through a park.

He spots the same nun in the park sitting on a bench, roaring drunk.

"Shame on you, Sister", he says, "I thought that whiskey was for Mother Superior's constipation".

"It is," she slurrs. "When she sees me drunk, she'll shit!"

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A man went to the card shop...

...and asked, "do you have any valentine cards saying 'you're my first and only love'?"
The shopkeeper said yes,
And the man replied, 'Great! give me five!"

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A man is walking down the street...

...on his way home and decides to surprise his wife with flowers. He sees a storefront with the window overflowing with flowers and stops in. "I'll have a dozen roses," he says. The shopkeeper calmly shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, we don't sell flowers. We actually do circumcisions". The incredulous man looks back over his shoulder at the display full of flowers and says, "What do you mean you don't sell flowers? Your window is FULL of flowers?!"
At this point, the shopkeeper becomes annoyed and responds, "Look buddy, what do you want me to put in the window...?"

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Blondes and alligator shoes

She desperately wanted a pair of beautiful alligator shoes.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?'

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.
With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the gator.

Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration .....Son-of-a-bitch!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO !

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Man walks into a fishmonger carrying a trout under his arm...

He asks the shopkeeper, Do you sell fish cakes?

Shopkeeper replies Of course!

Man says, Thank god, it's his birthday!

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3 parrots for sale

3 Parrots for sale, Β£100, Β£200 and Β£15 a women asks ''why is one parrot so cheap? The shopkeeper replys ''cos it used to live in a brothel'' the women thinks its funny , so buys the parrot. When she gets home the parrot says ' flipin heck a new brothel'' the women laughs. Her two daughters come home the parrot says 'flipin heck new prozzies'' the girls laugh. The husband comes home and the parrot says bloody hell OP, I ain't seen you for weeks!!

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Elderly woman wants a pet to keep her company

so she goes to the pet store to get a new friend.

She tells the shopkeeper she would like something she can talk to and possibly bring to church with her, and he suggests a parrot.

She agrees and the next day brings the parrot to church with her.

In the middle of the service, the parrot squawks out, "Jesus CHRIST! It's HOT IN HERE!"

Mortified, she leaves and takes the parrot back to the store and tells the shopkeeper what happened.

He says "Oh, that's no big deal. If he ever does it again, you just pick him up, swing him around by the legs and put him back on his perch. He won't say it again."

The next week, the woman brings the parrot to church with her again, and sure enough, mid sermon the parrot shrieks, "Jesus CHRIST! It's HOT IN HERE!"

So the woman picks the bird up, swings him around and plants him back on the his perch.

"FUCKING WINDY, TOO!"

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Three parrots are in a pet shop for sale

Priced at Β£170, Β£150 and Β£10.

A woman asks the shopkeeper "Why is that parrot so cheap?"

The shopkeeper replies "Because it used to live in a brothel."

The woman finds this amusing so she buys the parrot. On returning home the parrot takes in its new surroundings and says "Fuck me, a new brothel!". The woman laughs.

A few hours later, her two daughters come home and the parrot pipes up once more "Fuck me, new girls!". The woman and her daughters both laugh.

Later that evening, the woman's husband comes in from work and once more the parrot ejaculates, this time saying "Fuck me Keith, long time no see!"

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A blonde decides to buy a TV

She walks into a store and asks for a TV. The shopkeeper says "We don't sell to blondes."

She gets angry and dyes her hair black. Tomorrow she comes into the same shop, and asks for a TV. The shopkeeper says again, "We don't sell to blondes."

"How did you know I was blonde?"

"This is a microwave store."

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My wife saw an ad in a window

Which said "tampons 50cents"
Is that true, she asked the shopkeeper...
Very true, he said...."no strings attached"

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A man walks into a fishmonger with a trout under his arm...

He asks the shopkeeper,
Do you sell fish cakes?

Shopkeeper replies Of course!

Man says,
Thank god, it's his birthday!

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I went to the corner shop earlier to get some cigarettes.

I went to the corner shop earlier to get some cigarettes.

The shopkeeper handed me a packet. The warning on it said, Smokers Die Younger .

I said, No, not this one. My parents wouldn't like that.

He handed me another. The warning on it said, Smoking Causes Cancer .

I said, No, not this one either. My doctor wouldn't like that.

He handed me another. The warning on it said, Smoking Can Damage The Sperm And Causes Infertility .

I said, I'll take this one. I don't think that sock under my bed really gives a fuck.

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A blind guy walks into a store with a seeing-eye dog.

All of a sudden he grabs the dog by the tail and start spinning it around over his head. Horrified, a shopkeeper rushes over to him and says sir, sir are you OK?

The blind guy says sure, I'm just looking around.

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A woman goes to buy a parrot; the prices are: $100, $200 and $15

She asks "How come one is only $15?"


"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $15.


When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.


When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.


When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

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A woman goes to a pet store to buy a parrot, and notices the price is only $5. She asks the shopkeeper why its so cheap

"Because he used to live in a brothel" says the shopkeeper. She pays $5.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, a new brothel!" The woman laughs.

When her daughters get home the parrot says: "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!" The girls laughs too.

When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me Pete, haven't seen you for weeks!"

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A guy walks up to the shopkeeper and asks for a Fender Strat, an Orange Amp and a Mooger Fooger pedal...

...the shop keeper says: "Are you a drummer?" and the guy responds: "Yeah how can you tell?"

The shop keeper responds: "This is a fish and chip shop mate."

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Business can be generated any how!

An advocate goes to a gift shop 7 days before Valentine's Day.


He bought 40 beautiful cards and wrote - "To my love !! I hope you recognize! Meet me in the evening, "I love you"
The shopkeeper asked: What is the matter?
So the lawyer said - I sent such cards to the nearby colony on the last Valentine's Day. In a few days, I got four cases of divorce.
This time I am sending 40 cards

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A woman goes to buy a Parrot. The prices are $200, $150, $100, and $15. She asked why the last one is so cheap?

Because he used to live in a brothel says the shopkeeper. She pays $15

When she gets home the parrot says Fuck me, a new brothel! The women laughs.

When her daughters gets home from school the parrot says Fuck me, two new prozzies! The girls laugh as well.

When the dad gets home the parrot says Fuck me Ken, I haven't seen you in weeks!

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Me: Can I get XL shirts here?

Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?

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A woman wants to buy a pair of spectacles.

A woman walks into a shop and says," Doctor, I think I need a pair of spectacles! "

The shopkeeper replies," You certainly do ma'am! This is a grocery store.

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I asked the shopkeeper if he thought I should be refunded for my faulty abacus

He told me not to count on it.

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A 70 year old woman walks into a sex shop...

..And asks the shopkeeper:

" -Do you happen to have any vibrators?"

" -Yes ma'am, they're on that shelf."

" -Mmmm, I think I'll take the red one."

" -It's the shelf above the fire extinguisher, ma'am."

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The Clock in the Window

A man was exploring some back streets in a city, when he saw a little shop with a clock in the window - which reminded him that his mantle clock was broken. So he returned home, got his clock, and returned to the shop.

He entered and put it on the counter, saying "Can you repair this?"
The shopkeeper, who was a small Jewish man, replied "I don't repair clocks - I'm a Mohel."

The man looked puzzled, until the shopkeeper explained that he performed circumcisions.

"Then why have you got a clock in your window?" he asked. The little man looked at him.
"So what would you put in the window?"

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I was buying a map of an expensive brand.

When I was looking at the Middle East, I noticed that the countries were improperly named. I thought, maybe its a cheap copy of the brand and not actually from that brand?

So I went up to the shopkeeper, pointed at the improperly named countries in the middle east, and said "Is this fake?"

The shopkeeper replied by saying "No, no, Israel."

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Russians Hate Coca Cola

A Russian walks into a store and demands,

-- "Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca Cola."

After half an hour, the Russian returns and demands again,

-- "Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Coca Cola."

After one hour, he comes back for a third time and says to the shopkeeper,

-- "Give me a bottle of vodka and a bottle of ... Sprite. It seems Coca Cola makes me sick!"

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There's this shopkeeper named John...

His business is doing beautifully. One day, a heavenly voice calls out to him, "John, sell your shop."

He says, "What?"

"John. Sell your shop."

John, not going to question a heavenly voice calling out to him, does so for several hundred thousand dollars. Then, "John, go to Vegas."

John has no idea what this is leading to but goes to a casino in Vegas anyway. "Go to a Blackjack table." Ok. He goes to the nearest Blackjack table. "Put all of the shop's money on this next hand." John, confident in the voice, puts down all of his money in this next hand.

John is dealt a 19 with the dealer showing a 6. It looks good for John. Then, "Take a hit, John."

"But-"

"Take a hit, John."

John hits. An ace turns up. 20. John's going to win. "Take another hit."

John gets really nervous. "Take another hit." John takes the hit. He can't even bare to watch. The card comes down. He opens his eyes. 21.

The voice exclaims,"Un-fucking-believable!"

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A woman went to a sporting goods store to buy a rifle.

Women: "It`s for my husband.
Shopkeeper: "Did he tell you what type should buy?"
Women: "Are you kidding? ,"He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him today!"

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Guy enters a pet shop

Guy: Hi. I'm looking for a dog.
Shopkeeper: male or female?
Guy: Bitch, please.

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Woman stand in queue in Soviet Union for seven hours

When she go in - shop empty.
Woman: Oh - You have no fish?
Comrade shopkeeper: No, here is no meat. No fish - next door!

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A tourist while passing a little shop noticed the name inscribed as A. Swindler- Proprietor upon its glass window.

Curious about the rather amusing name, the tourist went inside the store and asked the shopkeeper would it not be better to use the latter's first name instead of his initial.

The shopkeeper shook his head and said "My name is Adam".

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Shopkeeper receives flowers at the opening of his new store...

And the card says "Rest In Peace". So he calls up the florist, angry, and she says, "Sir, at least you weren't the one who got flowers at your wife's funeral that said, 'Congratulations on the new location.'"

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A man was shopping for a present for his daughter ....

He stumbled across a shop that makes customised, inflatable dolls.

He decided to purchase a simple doll and went over to the shopkeeper.

"D'you want a boy doll or a girl doll?" asked the shopkeeper.

"A girl please, it's for my daughter."

"Do you want the doll to be white or black?"

"White, thank you."

"Okay, and would you like the doll to be Christian or Muslim? Muslim costs a little more."

Startled, the man replied "What does religion have to do with a doll? And why does a Muslim one cost more?"

"Well", the shopkeeper replied, "The Muslim one blows itself up."

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What did the Mexican shopkeeper say to the thief?

That's Nachos.

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Communism in Romania.

A homeless child walks into a Romanian store that has relatively empty shelves. He asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, if you don't mind, do you have any bread you can spare for someone hungry?"

The shopkeeper responds, "Sorry man, in this store we don't have any cheese. Next door is where they don't have any bread."

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A woman goes to buy a parrot. The prices are $100, $200, and $3500. She asks 'Why is the last one so expensive?'

"Because if he was any cheaper, people would be reposting him every week" says the shopkeeper. She pays $3500.

When she gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, an original content!" the woman laughs.

When her daughters gets home the parrot says: "Fuck me, only 2 upvotes!". The girls laugh too.

When the dad gets home the parrot says: "Evening, Pete".

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A fella walks into a pet shop...

A fella walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.

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Man goes into a hardware store...

Says to the shopkeeper, "Can I have a roll of masking tape and some zip ties"

Shopkeeper smiles knowingly, "I'm sorry, thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray film we're out of stock"

The man winces and replies, "OK, just give me a chainsaw and some bin bags"

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Potato Clocks.

Colin walks into the largest watch, clock and timepiece store in Dublin and after a bit of browsing, calls the shopkeeper over...

"Where d'ya keep your potato clocks?"

The shopkeeper laughs, "Potato clocks?! Are you messin' with me? I will tell you that we sell alarm clocks and grandfather clocks, and mantel clocks and hour-glasses, cuckoo clocks, sundials, and electric clocks and quartz clocks, digital clocks, solar clocks, and even Mickey Mouse clocks, but in all my years, I have never heard tell of a POTATO clock!"

Colin shakes his head and says, "I don't know...but after years of unemployment, I'm finally startin' a new job at nine tomorrow, and the wife says 'You'd better get a potato clock.'"

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The main character from the Mortal Kombat games walks into a shop

The shopkeeper asks him, "Can I help you find anything?"
And he says, "No thanks. I'm just Liu Kang."

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The talking Parrot

A woman went to a pet store and bought a talking Parrot. She returned home and asked the Parrot " How do I look?"
The parrot replied "like a whore!"
Furious, She took The Parrot back to the store to complain.
the Shopkeeper gave the parrot a good beating and the parrot swore that he wont say such things again.
So the woman decided to test the parrot and asked
"if a man is present with me in my room, who is he?"
"Your Husband" replied the parrot
"if there is another man ?"
"it may be your father"
"If there is yet another man?"
"it may be your brother"
" if a fourth man is present?"
the Parrot timidly turned towards the shopkeeper and yelled....
" I told you she is a Whore!!"

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A man walks into a Swedish chemist shop.....

... and asks for some deodorant. The shopkeeper says 'ball or aerosol?' The man answers 'neither, I want it for my armpits.

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A man enters the drum section of a music store..

Shopkeeper: "Sir, you can play here for a while, but then I've gotta ask you to beat it."

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I went to a lingerie shop to buy some underwear for my girlfriend

"Are these satin?" I asked.

"No," said the shopkeeper, "They're new."

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A man walks into a shop and says, "I'd like to buy a wasp".

The shopkeeper says, "We don't sell wasps".

To which the man replies,"Oh, you've got one in the window".

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Cute little dog.

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.
He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"
The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.
"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"
The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

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There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

He opens his mouth and says. "I would like to buy a pair of sunglasses."

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What do you call an Arab shopkeeper who feels okay until he opens up for business each day?

Sheik well before opening.

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An angry man walks in to a shop with a dog poo in his hand

He shows it to the shopkeeper and yells "Look at what I almost stepped in just outside your shop door!"

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What was the shopkeepers sexuality

Buysexual

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I went to buy a shed...

"Are you going to put it up yourself?" asked the shopkeeper.

No, I replied, I'm just going to put it in the garden.

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What did the shopkeeper say to the dip sauce thief?

It's nacho cheese.

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Why did Cher go nuclear when the shopkeeper didn't give her the receipt?

Cher-No-Bill

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(OC) What did the auditors say to the South American shopkeeper?

Hello, I'm here to Peru-se your inventory.

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A prostitute walks into a general store...

The shopkeeper says, "what can I do ya for?"

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What are the best Shopkeeper puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Shopkeeper? Well, here are the best jokes about Shopkeeper to have fun with.

Joko Jokes