Shoo Jokes

59 shoo jokes and hilarious shoo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shoo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Shoo Short Jokes

Short shoo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shoo humour may include short shoe jokes also.

  1. Did you hear about the robots they are using to shoo away the homeless in SF this holiday season? Roombah humbug!
  2. Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
    Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
  3. Did you hear about the m**... Chinese brothers? Their names were Lo Shin and t**... Shoo

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Shoo One Liners

Which shoo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shoo? I can suggest the ones about shove and shut.

  1. What do you call an Asian with only one leg? Tie won shoo
  2. What do you say to your laces to make them go away? Shoo laces
  3. How do you scare away a Vestiphobic? Say "Shoo".
  4. what does a tree say to a shrub? shoo rob.
  5. What's the most intolerant music genre? Shoo g**...

Shoo joke, What's the most intolerant music genre?

Gather Around for Heartwarming Shoo Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about shoo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shucks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shoo pranks.

there was a shooting at the westboro Baptist church recently...

the police report over a dozen witnesses, yet for some reason, nobody saw anything.

there has been a shooting at the Westboro Baptist church...

police report 3 dozen cheerful bystanders, yet nobody claims to have seen who did it.

During the shooting of a movie...

Director: Now we'll let the lion out of the cage and he'll chase but don't worry he won't eat you.
Actor: What makes you so sure?
Director: It's in the script.
Actor: Has the lion read the script?

"Shoot for the moon, land among the stars"

-dead astronaut

The City Slicker and The Farmer

**City Slicker:** There sure are a lot of flies around here. Don't you ever shoo them?
**Farmer:** No. we just let them go barefoot.

^*From ^the ^epic ^fantasy ^adventure ^novel ^Silly ^Summertime ^Jokes*

Why do they only shoot clay pigeons?

Because you shouldn't shoot the messenger!
(Groan, although I'm mildly proud of this)

Why did u shoot ur wife ?

Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?
Methew:Your honour,
it's easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

A woman calls 911...

A woman calls 911:
‒ Please help, a skunk got into my house and I can't seem to shoo it out.
‒ Ma'm, just make a trail of breadcrumbs out of the door, the skunk will follow them out.
A little while later, the same woman calls back:
‒ Yes, hi. I followed your advice with the breadcrumbs... now I have two skunks.

Where do shooting napkins come from?

The Serviette Union

How do you shoot a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun.
**How do you shoot a white elephant?**
You hold his trunk until he turns blue, then you shoot him with the blue elephant gun

SC shooting suspect Dylan Roof has been apprehended.

He was charged with impersonating a police officer.

What do you get when you shoot four bullets into a six pack?

A Tupac...

I shook hands with my Congressman yesterday...

I didn't mean to, I was just reaching for my wallet.

What do you get when you shoot a Mexican golfer?

A hole in Juan

What does a shooting star say to his buddy before he dies?

"Meet me - oh, right.."

What happens when you shoot a black man?

You go to jail for impersonating a police officer...

I once shook hands with Michael J Fox

He seemed pretty offended, but in my defense, the room was cold.

Who often shoots in the wrong direction?

Clint Westwood

You might as well shoot for the stars because...

Best case scenario you succeed and are immediately vaporized into nothing. Worst case scenario you miss and fade into the endless void of nothing.

There was a shooting at the Apple store last night.

There were no iWitnesses.

Shooting guns is a s**... hobby.

Its much easier and more cost efficient to shoot targets!

How do you shoot a unique deer?

You-neak up on it and shoot it.

Whenever I shoot something into the trash, I yell "Kobe!"

But then, my friend follows up by yelling "Jack!" I don't get what he's trying to say, but he sure is acting cheesy.

Do you ever get a shooting pain through your body like someone has a voodoo doll of you and they are stabbing it?

How about now?

Shoot the kids, hang the parents, frame grandpa...

I tried to tell Rob the slogan for his new photography business needed fixing but he wasn't having any of it.

Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was...

Republicans don't want to play left field.
Democrats don't want to play right.
Nobody wants to play center.

"Shoo ... shoo"

An Irish man is standing in the street, irractically waving his arms in the air shouting "shoo ...shoo".
A puzzled passerby asks him, "What are you doing, p**...?"
"It keeps the dragons away", he replies.
"There are no dragons, p**...".
"You're welcome!"

Shoot for the stars he said...

Hamilton died because he did that in a stand off.

There's been a shooting at the San Diego bikini contest.

Don't worry though, everyone made it out in a one-piece!

If you shoot a gun,

does that kill it?

There was a shooting at a computer hardware shop

Police say it was a drive buy

What happens when you shoot Napoleon with a cannon?

He becomes Napoleon Blownaparte.

Shooting video games don't make people violent

The lag does

The shooter at YouTube...

Was removed because her content violated YouTube's terms of service.
Sorry about that

Aw shoot, I need new batteries for my camera.

- Aw shoot, I need new batteries for my camera.
- What does it take?
- Pictures.

Shoot the kids, hang the family...

And then frame them all

There was a shooting at my local brothel and everyone was killed but the owner.

He's asking for Thots and Players.

I tried to shoot up a school

But the fish were too fast

I like shooting guns and drinking whiskey.

But I'm all out of shots.

How are shooting victims and shooting jokes similar?

They never get old.

I once shook hands with the world's greatest thief...

I'd hoped to get his autograph, too, but he was in a hurry to meet with some lobbyists before a big vote.

Shoot for the moon, if you miss you'll land among the stars is a good quote

Unless you're an astronaut.

Oh shoot, it's Father's Day.

Maybe I'll get my father milk, so he doesn't have to worry about it anymore.

A shooting club was holding a competition. The winner was to get a somewhat ugly trophy, the second-placed shooter - a crate of champagne.

By the end of the final round, two shooters were tied for first place, so they were told to do a tiebreaker round - 5 shots at maximum distance. To keep things more dramatic, they had to shoot at the same time.
After both had stopped firing and were awaiting the results, one shooter turned to his rival and said with a little smile: "I'm sorry, pal. I put all five shots in the wall."
"I'm sorry, too," replied the other, "because I put all of mine into your target."

I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn't get my gun to fire.

I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

You shoot a sick bird, but get arrested. Why?

Because it was an ill eagle shooting.

What gets all shook up and comes on your salad?

Elvis Parsley.

Why would you never want to shoot a lion in the behind?

Because you would end up with a cat a**... trophy.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

It's a constellation prize.

Why shoot down so many balloons?

It's a fight against inflation.

Shoo joke, Why shoot down so many balloons?

jokes about shoo