Shoebox Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

A farmer finds a shoebox under his wife's side of the bed

The box contained two ears of corn and $4000. He went to his wife
Farmer: What's this?
Wife: I have a confession to make. Whenever I cheated on you I put an ear of corn in the box.

The farmer gasps, then thinks "50 years of marriage...only twice..that's not too awful.

Farmer: What about the $4000?
Wife: Whenever I got a bushel I sold it.

A man walks into a bar and puts a shoebox down on the table...

He says, "I'll have a beer and a shot of Jack Daniels for my friend in the box."
The bartender looks down and sees a small man playing the piano. He brings the drinks and then asks, "Where'd you get this little guy?"
The man at the bar replies, "I was walking on the beach when I found a bottle lying in the sand. I was dusting it off when a genie came out and this was my first wish."
The bartender is thinking that maybe he can trade something for this guys wish. Now, this guy is feeling pretty generous so he agrees to giving up his second wish in exchange for free food and drinks. The bartender grabs the bottle, rubs it, and exclaims, "I wish for a million bucks!"
Then, the door slams open and a million white ducks come marching into the bar.
The man at the bar says, "I think the genie is hard of hearing."
"What makes you say that?" asks the bartender.
"You think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

A wife tells her husband on their wedding day...

A wife tells her husband on their wedding day to never open a shoebox that she keeps in their closet. The husband complies. Decades later the wife is on her deathbed and asks for the husband to bing the box and open it. He finds in it two handmade dolls and $25,000 in cash. The wife tells him that every time she got so mad she wanted to kill him, she would redirect that energy into making these dolls.
The husband became teary eyed at the fact that she only became angry at him twice in all these years of marriage.
"What about the cash?" He asked
"Oh, that's the money I made from selling the other dolls."

How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox?

How do you fit 20 Cubans in a shoebox?

Tell them it floats!

What do you call two men hiding inside a shoebox?

Sneakers

I saw a man on the corner with a shoebox

And asked him what he was selling

Jordan's

How much?

50 bucks

Not a bad deal, what size are they?

11

Hey that's my size! I'll take them

It sure was a good deal, but he must have laced them with something, because I was tripping the rest of the morning.

[NSFW] Their Honeymoon

So,

There is a man and his wife on their honeymoon and he slips a shoebox under the bed before they 'get down to business'.
'Now honey,' The husband says, 'Whatever you do, don't open that box. You must not, under any circumstances, open that box'

The wife thinks this is a strange request, but ignores it and they start enjoying themselves.

21 years on, and her curiosity gets the better of her. So she goes up to their room and finds the shoe box still under the bed. She opens it and finds three beer cans and a wad of money.

She takes the box down to her husband who is watching football and puts it on the coffee table,
"Honey, whats with the box?" She asks him. He sighs,
"Well, since you've waited this long, i'll tell you. Each beer can represents every time I've cheated."
"Ok...3 times in 21 years...I can live with that. But why all the money?"
"Well, thats for every time the box filled up."

Large lawyer...

Did you hear about the lawyer who died the other day?

Apparently there were concerns he was too large to fit in a normal coffin. Luckily as part of preparing the body they gave him an enema.

They were able to bury him in a shoebox.

What are the funniest shoebox jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Shoebox? Well, here are the best Shoebox puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Shoebox pick up lines to share with friends.

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