Shoe Size Jokes
44 shoe size jokes and hilarious shoe size puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shoe size that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Shoe Size Short Jokes
Short shoe size jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shoe size humour may include short shoe brand jokes also.
- If shoe size really is directly related to the size of a man's package... Then clowns are way scarier than we all thought.
- Paul's height is six feet, he is an assistant at a butcher shop and wears size 9 shoes. What does he weigh? Meat.
- The New Men's Birth Control Pill It's about the size of a marble.
You put it into your shoe.
It makes you limp. - Guys, I'm not saying that Flat Earthers, Anti-Vaxxers, and Creationists are unintelligent people but... there is a reason why shoes with Velcro straps come in adult size.
- I FINALLY opened my shoe store that only sells large sizes. Let me tell you, that was no small feet.
- A man asks a shoe store employee for the size of a shoe The employee replies that it's a size 9, US.
The man asks what the Australian size is.
"Size 6," the employee says. - A guy is with his girlfriend Him: is it in yet?
Her: yeah..
Him: does it hurt?
Her: mhm
Him: okay, let's find you a different shoe size - What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit? He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."
- Did you hear about the fortune teller who ordered shoes one size too large? Turns out he was a medium.
- Why was the man with size four shoes turned away from Mount Everest? Because climbing Mount Everest is no small feat
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Shoe Size One Liners
Which shoe size one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shoe size? I can suggest the ones about running shoes and big shoes.
- I wear same shoe size as my girlfriend and people say we are not solemates
- How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet.
- Almost all of my family has shoe sizes under 9.5" So me being size 12" is no small feet
- For sale: baby shoes, never worn wrong size
- I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend He was a size 10i
- Act your age, not your shoe size.
- What shoe size does a quadriplegic wear? 26" rims
- Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
- My wife and I wear the same size shoes We're solemates.
- She had the same shoe size as him They were **sole**mates
- Why do midgets only buy larger size track shoes? Because they run small.
Shoe Size Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about shoe size you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean footwear jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shoe size pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
p**... Clown
Inside of an Interrogation room
Investigator: Where were you on the 5th of March?
Clown: I was at a kids birthday party
Investigator: what were you doing at the party?
Clown: I was the Clown
Investigator: what were you doing as the clown?
Clown: Showing them my shoe size
Investigator: ...What do you mean?
Clown: I took them into the Closet
Investigator: Did you at least let them out?
Clown: Oh they definitely came out of the Closet when I was done
Why husbands avoid questions!!
Why husbands avoid questions.......!
WIFE : What would you do if i died ? Would you get married
again ?
Husband : No....
Wife : Why not ? Don't you like being married ?
Husband : Of course i do.
Wife : Then why wouldn't you remarry ?
Husband : Ok, ok, i'd get married again....
Wife : Would you live in our house with your new Wife....?
Husband : Yes, it's a great house.
Wife : Would you let her drive my car ?
Husband: Yes, its almost new, dear.
Wife : Would you give her my jewelry ?
Husband : No.. I am sure she would want her own..
Wife : Would she wear my shoes..?
Husband : No, her size is '6'
Wife : --silence--
Husband : 'shiiit'...!!
Favorite Dad Joke
My 4 year old cousin needs help putting her shoes on.
Cousin to my dad: "Can you put my shoes on?"
Dad: "Well I'll try but I don't think they're going to fit."
(As he tries to stuff his foot into a size 3 kids shoe)
They say size doesn't matter
If that's true, why can't I get these shoes on?
I don't understand how there can be different shoe sizes.
I mean, everyone's feet are a foot long.
Got the job of putting cement into size 14 boots, last person could do 100 in an hour.
I've got some big shoes to fill.
I was working at the shoe store
When a teenage girl came into the store, looking for new shoes. I saw that she was struggling to fit into some of the traditionally sized shoes, so I showed her special shoes for wide set feet. She began to cry and thought that I was calling her fat. I told her, "I'm not calling you fat, but if the shoe fits, wear it."
A sensual affair
"Babe is it in?"
"Yea."
"Does it hurt?"
"Uh huh."
"Let me put it in slowly."
"lt still hurts."
"Okay, let's try another shoe size."
If a butcher is 6 feet tall, wears size 9 shoes and has a 38 inch waist, what does he weigh?
Meat.
The conversation went like this
"Babe is it in?"
"Yeah."
"Does it hurt?"
"Uh huh."
"Let me put it in slowly."
"It still hurts."
"Okay, let's try another shoe size."
Wife asks her husband will he remarry if she dies.
Husband: No how can I think of remarrying.
Wife: Why not? You would need a partner for your bad times. Please remarry if I die.
Husband: You are so sweet... Even after death, you are worried about me.
Wife: Will you let her use my car?
Husband: Of course not
Wife: Will you give my jewellery to her
Husband: Not at all, I have some of my memories attached to it. I will keep it as your memory.
Wife: Will you give my shoes to her
Husband: No way... Her size is '5' and yours is '7'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers:
"Hey cheeky!" She said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?"
"That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam." I said sternly. "I don't even work here."