Shockingly Bad Jokes

39 shockingly bad jokes and hilarious shockingly bad puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shockingly bad that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Shockingly Bad Jokes

Short shockingly bad jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shockingly bad humour may include short amazingly bad jokes also.

  1. People are shocked that a company fired a woman because of her bad figure. But in their defense, it was *Figure 2.7: why my boss is an idiot.*
  2. What did the bad shock tell the good shock? I'm bad under pressure!! It's the lamest car joke in the world.
  3. A conductor kissed a g**... the bus He was arrested and the police gave him electric shocks but it had no effect.
    Because he was a bad conductor.
    Sorry guys.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about shockingly bad can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of shockingly bad puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Shockingly Bad One Liners

Which shockingly bad one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shockingly bad? I can suggest the ones about pretty bad and horribly bad.

  1. A man was shocked to find I'm a bad electrician.
  2. When I found out it's a bad idea to do your own electrical wiring, I was shocked

Shockingly Bad Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about shockingly bad you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean seriously bad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make shockingly bad prank.

David received a parrot for his birthday.

The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an obscenity.
Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back.
He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments.
He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”
David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”

The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say.
"Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."
"Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives.
"For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000."
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood.
A few actually smirked.
But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?"
"A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."

A forester and a Lawyer die...

So a Forester and a Lawyer die and go to heaven. They're greeted at the gates by their guide. He motions for them to follow and leads them down a beautiful, gold washed path. At the end of the path they reach a solid gold mansion, glittering in the sun. The Guide turns to the Lawyer and says,"This is where you will spend eternity. We hope it's to your liking." The Lawyer thanks him profusely and enters the mansion.
The guide motions to the Forester and they move on down a beautiful cobble street. They keep going. They pass by giant Victorian neighborhood and still keep going. They pass a regular suburb, then a trailer park, then shacks. Finally they end up on a barely visible dirt path where they reach a lean-to. The guide says,"This is where you will spend eternity. We hope you like it."
The Forester stops the guide and says,"Why do I get the lean-to? I was good my whole life. I never did anything bad. Why does the other guy get a solid gold mansion?"
The guide looks shocked as he replies,"Sir, we get Foresters all the time. That was the first Lawyer we have ever had."

The chief of a tribe in Mexico dies.

His son is now the chief. Since he never learned the ways of his forefathers to predict winters, when he gets asked what should the tribe do, he just tells them to collect firewood. He then goes to the National Weather Station in Mexico and asks them how bad winter is going to be. They tell him; "It looks like it will be pretty bad". Shocked, he goes back to his tribe and tells them to gather more firewood. He goes back to the weather station and asks them again if winter will be bad. They answer, "It is going to be one of the worst winters in a decade." The Chief goes back to the village and tells them to gather more firewood. Then he goes for a third time to the weather station and asks them again, "will the winter be bad?" They respond, "It will be the worst winter in a century." The chief asks them, "How do you know winter will be bad?" They answer, "Because the Indians are gathering firewood like crazy!"

An Irishman visits his doctor after a long illness.

An Irishman goes to his doctor after a long illness.
The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighs, looks him in the eye and says, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and I'm afraid it can't be cured. I'd give you two weeks to a month to live."
The guy is shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character. He walks back into the waiting room where his son is waiting for him and says, "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer, and I've been given a short time to live. Let go to the pub and have a few pints."
After four or five pints, they are feeling a little less somber. There are some laughs and more beers.
Eventually the two are approached by some of the guy's old friends who ask them what they are celebrating. So the guy tells his friends, "I've got only a few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with AIDS."
His friends give are quite shocked about this and so they stay to have a couple of beers with him and his son.
After his friends leave, the guys' son leans over to his dad and whispers in confusion „Dad, I though you said that you had cancer? Why you just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"
Well , the guy says, "I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."

Missing some parts (not for the easily offended)

A couple are in a hospital waiting to see their newly born child for the first time, when the doctor comes in and says; "I'm afraid I've got some bad news." The couple look shocked. "Your baby seems to be missing some parts; follow me." The couple follow the doctor down the hall into a room of newly born babies. First, they approach a baby with no arms. The wife screams, "Oh God! Is this my baby?" The doctor says, "no, keep following". Next the couple approach a baby with no arms or legs. The husband asks, "Please doc, is this our baby?". Again, the doctor says, "no. Follow me" Next they get to a baby that is just a head. The wife, almost hysterical now, proclaims, "I can't take this; how am I supposed to look after a head?" The doctor, beginning to anger, says, "Please Mrs Smith. This baby is not yours; I'll tell you when it is your child." Finally the doctor reaches the last baby. He announces, "This, is your child." The baby is just an eye. The couple immediately break down crying. The doctor then says, "And I'm afraid I've got some more bad news;
he's blind."

A Man Goes to the Doctor . . .

A man goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup, and the doctor says to him, "Well, I've got some bad news for you. It seems that you've been m**... too much. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop m**...."
The man, shocked to find this out, responds "Wait, what do you mean!? Stop m**...? When can I start again?"
The doctor responds, "Well I'd appreciate it if you waited until you left my office."

Talking ducks

I was walking through town the other day and a man stopped me and asked whether I wanted to see his talking ducks. I decided to humour him, and went along.

I walked up to the first duck and asked "How was your day?"

"Not bad, just been in and out of puddles all day really" He replied

I was so shocked he actually replied, I decided to talk to the next duck and asked how his day was, "Pretty good, just been in and out of puddles all day" He replied.

I walked up to the last duck, and asked him "How was your day then?"

"My day's been terrible" the duck said

"Oh dear, why's that?" I asked

"My name's Puddles."

A bear and a rabbit are fighting in the woods.

Along comes the magical turtle of the forrest and says to them "if you two stop fighting I will grant you each 3 wishes." As to both bear and rabbit agree. First wish the bear says "I wish all the bears in this forrest except for me to be female" the rabbit without even hesitating says "I want a bike!". The bear looks at him in shock trying not to yell at him fpr such a s**... wish. Second wish the bear goes "I want all the bears in this forrest and the next forrest other than me to be female" the rabbit starts laughing and says "I want a bike!". Bear gets mad again at the bad wish rabbit ignores him. Third wish bear goes "I want all the bears in the world other than me to be female" at this point the rabbit is in tears from laughing, he puts on his helmet gets on his bike and as hes driving away he yells "I wish the bear was gay!"

A lady walks into a pet store...

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO
The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway.
She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing.
Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New w**... in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off.
A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

Just after Jane Fonda was born..

..the doctor approached her father Henry with bad news.
'I'm afraid your new baby daughter has an underdeveloped heart, we're going to have to inject her with pus and create an abscess.'
Henry is shocked.
'I've never heard of the like, what quackery do you call this?!?'
'Well, an abscess makes the heart grow, Fonda!'

There was a white doctor in African village

After a while the local realised that some women had white babies. It didn't bother them much but they was curious about it for months. So after a while they decided to ask him and the leader went to the doctor with some fellas. They asked the doctor;
"Doctor, we don't have any trouble with it but we got to ask that you know some of our women gave born to white babies."
Doc answered "Yeah?"
"So we were curious about if you were related to it?"
Then doctor said "You know not always black people gave born to black babies. For example, there are white horses in the farm but they sometimes gave born to black baby horses.
Then the leader get shocked and shouted "Okay, you forget all about the horses, we forget women!"
Sorry for bad grammar

An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist

An alcoholic, a s**... and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist.
The psychiatrist evaluates their addictions and warns them, "If you indulge in your bad habit ONE MORE TIME, you will drop dead."
So the three men acknowledge his warning and leave the clinic.
As they walked down the sidewalk, discussing their fate, the Alcoholic proclaims, "I don't care what happens to me! I need a drink!" He runs into a bar, takes a shot of whiskey, and drops dead.
The s**... and gay guy--shocked that the psychiatrist was telling the truth--continue walking.
A few minutes later they see a full cigarette burning on the sidewalk. The s**... starts to sweat. And looks over at the gay guy. "I just need ONE MORE drag!"
The gay guy says, "Honey, if you bend down to pick that up, we're BOTH gonna drop dead!"

Working at the s**... bank,

Working at the s**... bank, the receptionist was shocked to see a man enter with a mask on and gun. The man stormed up to the counter, pointed the gun at her and said "This is a hold up!"
Confused the lady said, "Sir this is a s**... bank not a..." but the masked man demanded that she shut up, he told to go in the back and bring out three samples or that he was going to shoot her. Rushing back to the front, the receptionist placed the samples on the counter, the robber demanded that she drink the first sample, then another, and the last one. Having drank all the samples and wiping her mouth, the robber removed his mask and said, "See hun, its wasn't that bad was it?

Yellow Snow on the White House lawn

One winter morning, Bill Clinton woke up and looked out the window of his bedroom in the White House. He was shocked to see the words "Bill s**..." peed in the snow. He called the Secret Service to investigate the matter.
After a few days, the head of the Secret Service reported back to Bill, "I have bad news and I have worse news."
"Ok, let's hear the bad news."
"We did an analysis on the u**... and it belongs to Al Gore."
"And the worse news?"
"We did a handwriting analysis as well. It belongs to Hillary."

A couple decides to go on vacation.

A couple from London decides to go on a vacation together to Spain.
Due to a sudden change in the wife's work schedule the husband decides to fly first and the wife will join him a couple of days later.
As the husband arrives weather is great and he feels kind of bad for his wife still working at home so he immediately decides to send her a letter.
Unfortunately the letter by mistake gets sent to the grieving widow next door.
Being old and still in shock after just having lost her husband she opens up the envelope without looking at the address.
The letter read as following:
"Hi Honey! Just got down here and boy is it freaking hot.
Looking forward to seeing you when you arrive in a few days"

A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?

The girl replied with a loud voice: "NO! I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started looking at the guy; he was pretty embarrassed. After a while the girl walked quietly over to the guy's table and said: "I study psychology, I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right? The guy then responded with a loud voice: $1000 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH! All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy whispered "I guess you felt bad for what you did earlier, right? I study law; I know how to make someone feel guilty.

German couple rush to a Jewish Hospital

A German couple are rushed to a Jewish hospital after a huge hailstorm. The boyfriend's right hand was cut, and the girlfriend's head is in really bad shape, so the couple go to the emergency room. A rabbi - who is accompanying and praying for all the patients in the emergency room - is in shock of how the girlfriend managed to be in the condition she was in. The rabbi asks the boyfriend, "what hit her?" The boyfriend still panting after rushing to the hospital pointing with his bandaged hand and quickly mutters, "hail-hit-her!"

The son of a mexican father comes home from school

The father asks
"How was school boy?" to which the son replies
"Bad, I got detention today" the father was shocked
"For what?" he asked
"Well the teacher told me turn in my ese, but I ani't no snitch"

So a journalist visits a small town...

So a journalist visits a rural town, she is trying to find something interesting to write about and finally spots an old man sitting outside his house. She decides to walk up to this man and ask, "hello there Sir, I am interested in writing an article on this town, could you tell me something good that happened to you and something bad?".
The old man agrees. "Well, a good thing was when my mate's wife went missing, so we rounded up a group of us and went out lookin'. When we found her we all took turns having our way with her."
The reporter was quite shocked. "So what was the bad moment then?"
The old man looks her in the eye and replies, "well there was the time when I went missing"

So a man went to a doctor's appointment...

The doctor said, "I have bad news and worse news."
The man asked, "Oh, what is it?"
The doctor frowned, " You have only 24 hours to live."
The man was in shock. "And what's the worse news? Surely it can't get any worse!"
The doctor frowned again. "I was supposed to tell you yesterday."

I have some good news....

Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Patient: Give me the bad.
Dr: We have to amputate both of your legs.
Patient: shock! The good?
Dr: The man in the other room wants to buy your shoes!

A woman walks into a pet store..

She sees a beautiful parrot with a sign on its cage: $10 OBO The lady asks the pet shop owner, "Why so cheap?" The owner says "This bird used to live in a brothel, so he says a lot of inappropriate things." The lady can't pass up the deal and decides to get the bird anyway. She gets the bird home and the first thing the bird says is "Finally cleaned up this dump, and the new madam isn't bad looking." The lady finds it amusing. Her two teen daughters get home and the bird says "New w**... in the house, business will be booming tonight." The girls are shocked but laugh it off. A few hours later the woman's husband gets home and the bird says "Hey Jim."

A guy goes to the doctor.

A guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, ya gotta help me. My a**...'s the size of a garbage can lid!"
The doctor is a little shocked and says, "You've got to be kidding. I'm sure it's not that bad. Tell me what happened."
The guy tells the doctor, "Well, I went on Safari and I ended up getting r**... by an elephant."
The doctor thinks for a second and says, "Well, then it can't be the size of a garbage can lid. I'm no veterinarian, but I know that elephant p**... are actually quite small."
After a short embarrassed pause, the guy guy sighs, "He fingered me first."

A mother finds out she has cancer

A mother and daughter visit the doctor to get the results of the mom's pap-smear.
"It's stage-4 cervical cancer. You have 1 month left", the doctor says.
The mother is devastated. She gathers all her girlfriends for one last brunch.
At the brunch she announces, "Bad news, the doctor said I have 1 month to live. I have AIDS."
Her friends are shocked. They offer their condolences and hurriedly depart.
"But mom", the daughter protests "You have cancer. Why did you tell them you have AIDS?"
Mom replies, "Because I don't want any of them sleeping with your father."

Mickey mouse wakes up one winter morning and looks out the window.

To his shock, he sees someone has scrawled the words 'FUCK MICKEY' in u**... in the snow in front of his house. He calls the sheriff, who comes and asks him a couple of questions. He then takes pictures and samples of the u**... and leaves. The next morning, Mickey receives a phone call. It's the sheriff.
"Mickey, I've got bad news and worse news. The bad news is that the u**... belongs to Goofy."
"Oh, no," says Mickey mouse. "What's worse than that?"
"It's in Minnie's handwriting."

A bingo caller has a ball fly up at his face...

It goes right up his noise and gets stuck. He goes to the emergency room, the doctor says, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have a tumour". The bingo caller looks shocked and asks, "what's the good news?" The doctor responds, " the tumour is B9".

A guy goes in to see his doctor...

The doctor evaluates him and says, "I have bad news for you - you have Alzheimer's and you have Cancer".
Shocked, the guy considers for a moment and says, "At least I don't have Alzheimer's."

Bad punz 1

Got electrocuted at work today.
Didn't think That would happen to me.
I was shocked.
I know you're trying not to laugh,
But give up.
Resistance is futile.
This post isn't going anywhere.
One could say it appears to be static.
It Has taken all my will power to type these.
I hate my current self.
Pls comment "NO PART 2 PLS GOD NO" so i can die a happy man.

An old married couple were sitting on the porch enjoying the sunset.

The old woman suddenly turned to her husband and smacked him across his face.
The old man was shocked. "Now why the h**... you'd do that for, Ethel?"
"That was for forty years of bad s**...," she said smugly.
A couple minutes passed and then the old man turned to his wife and slapped her back even harder.
"What the heck was that for, Harold?"
"That's for knowing the difference!"

It was a bad idea doing tacos the night before the big meeting. Everyone looked shocked when I accidentally f**... loudly.

I looked back at them, just as shocked. After a moment, I broke the awkward silence, and said,
"Did you hear that a**... talking s**... behind my back?"

A man went skydiving...

A man went skydiving for the first time.
The pilot went to find the man's wife. I've got some bad news, some good news, some even worse news and some better news.
Oh, my gosh...what happened?
Your husband fell out of the plane. The good news is that he had a parachute on. The worse news is that the parachute didn't open.
The wife had nearly fainted from shock.
The better news is that we hadn't taken off yet.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these shockingly bad jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.