Shocking Facts Jokes

18 shocking facts jokes and hilarious shocking facts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shocking facts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Shocking Facts Short Jokes

Short shocking facts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shocking facts humour may include short interesting facts jokes also.

  1. Ten Surprising facts doctors don't want you to know about subway tracks! the 3rd one will shock you!
  2. Top 20 shocking facts you need to know about Triskaidekaphobia!!! Number 13 will scare you!
  3. As a child... I was brought up to the fact girls had cooties... As an adult I was shocked to find out they had rights too.
  4. I freaked out my mailman today I freaked out my mailman today when I came to the door completely n**.... I'm not sure what shocked him more, my n**... body, or the fact that I knew where he lived.
  5. I freaked out the electrician by opening the door n**.... I couldn't tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was n**..., or that I got into his house.
  6. I scared the mailman by going up to the door completely n**... I dont know what shocked him more, the fact that I was n**... or that I knew where he lived

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Shocking Facts One Liners

Which shocking facts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shocking facts? I can suggest the ones about fun facts and shocked.

  1. Top 13 facts you NEVER knew about non-conductors. #7 won't shock you.
  2. 10 Amazing facts about electric eels! Number 7 will shock you.

Hilarious Fun Shocking Facts Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about shocking facts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shockingly bad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shocking facts pranks.

Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...

As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."

Joe was heading towards the end of a round of golf...

...when hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.
All of a sudden, p**...! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?
Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life.
Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.
As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!
Then p**...! she was gone!
After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you?
Bill yells back, I'm over here in the pussywillows.

"But my elderly aunt was considered a highly respectable spinster!" the society matron protested.
"Can't you find some way to cover up the shocking fact that she died in bed while being simultaneously serviced by two paid studs?"
"You just leave it to me, Mrs. Van Horn," soothed the police officer.
"I'll just put it in my report that she died at the s**... of two."

A cab driver reaches the pearly gates. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book and tells him to pick up a gold staff and a silk robe and proceed into Heaven.

Next in line is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book, furrows his brow and says, "OK, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is shocked and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!"
St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, "This is Heaven and up here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed."

A man approaches a woman at the bar

He flirts with her, chats with her and is very friendly. Yet, the woman refuses to go back to his place with him. He says, "What if I paid you $1 million to have s**... with me?"
The woman has never had $1 million before, in fact, she's never come close. She mulls it over, thinking about how nice it would be to have that much money. Before she can answer, the man interjects.
"You know what, I change my offer. I'll give you one dollar."
The woman is shocked and replies, "What kind of woman do you think I am!?"
The man says, "Haven't we already figured that out? Now we're just negotiating."

A priest is on a bus (kinda long)...

...and spots a very beautiful nun sitting a couple of rows ahead. He was about to approach her when he remembered that nuns took vows of celibacy. Disheartened, he sat down. The bus driver, noticing this, asked the priest, "What's wrong?" The priest explained his situation to the driver. The driver was silent for a bit, then he said, "I have an idea that can resolve your predicament. I know for a fact that every night, the nun visits the graveyard to pay respect to the dead. What you have to do is dress up like Jesus Christ and she will do anything you command." The priest, doubtful, asked, "Are you sure this will work?" The bus driver responded, "Positively, you just have to try." So the next day, as darkness fell, the priest put on his costume and went to the graveyard. Sure enough, the nun was there. He approached her, and the nun, shocked and amazed by the sight of the Lord, stood silently in awe. The priest then told her to bend over and proceeded to have her way with her. When he was done he removed his costume and exclaimed, "Surprise, it's me, the priest!" The nun, without further ado, removed her veil and said, "Surprise, it's me, the bus driver!"

A farmer was working in his field...

when a carload of politicians rounded the corner at high speed, lost control, and flipped into a ditch.
A few hours later, a state trooper pulled up and asked, "Excuse me sir, but did you happen to see a car full of politicians come through here?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I did, officer. They crashed over there," replied the farmer, gesturing towards a fresh mound of dirt.
"You BURIED them?" asked the officer in shock. "Were they dead?"
The farmer scratched his head. "Well, officer, they SAID they weren't, but... well, you know how those politicians lie"

Where did I come from?

"Dad, where did I come from?" asks this 10-years-old. The father was shocked that a 10 year old would be asking a question like that. He was hoping to wait a few more years before he would have to explain the facts of life, but he figured it was better a few years early than a few days too late, so, for the next two hours he explained every thing to his son. When he got finished, he asked his son what prompted his question to which his son replied, "I was talking to the new kid across the street and he said he came from Ohio, so I was just wondering where I came from."