Shirts Jokes
84 shirts jokes and hilarious shirts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shirts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for the best way to express your sense of humor while wearing the perfect attire? Check out this article that includes shirts jokes with computer, chemistry, and even stupid themes to find the perfect outfit for your next event. From khakis to tees, you will find the perfect outfit for any occasion!
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Funniest Shirts Short Jokes
Short shirts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shirts humour may include short tee shirt jokes also.
- Give a man a shirt, and he'll wear it once Tell a man he looks good in it, and he'll wear it for a lifetime
- I dont believe in hitting my children as punishment So i send them to school wearing crocs and anime shirts and let other kids beat them instead
- Why does the military only allow dress shirts at its ceremonies? Because civilian casual tees are unacceptable.
- Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter. He runs Facebook.
- My girlfriend said, I am breaking up with you because of your addiction of wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour. I said, Wait! I can change.
- I went to make my own james bond clothing, but came back with a plain, white T-shirt I had No Time To Dye.
- I was invited to a party... 'Black tie only' was written on the invitation card. When I got there, I noticed that other people worn shirts and pants, too.
- What My Girlfriend Thought on the First Four Dates 1) Good shirt.
2) Nice. A second good shirt.
3) OK, the first shirt again.
4) He has two shirts. - *BOOM* Mom: what was that
Me: my shirt fell
Mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that
Me: I was in it - My girlfriend is always stealing my shirts and sweaters, but when I borrow a dress suddenly we "need to talk."
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Shirts One Liners
Which shirts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shirts? I can suggest the ones about clothes and polo shirt.
- Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts? He doesn't want to be spotted
- I finally disabled autocorrect on my phone I was getting really tired of its shirt.
- For Christmas my mum bought me a t-shirt saying, "I'm a nudist." I haven't worn it yet.
- T-Shirt is actually short for Tyrannosaurus Shirt... Because of the short arms
- Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts? It's not my fault I'm blind.
- Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt? He didn't want to be spotted.
- Why does everyone in the MCU wear wrinkled shirts? Because they lost their Iron, Man.
- Why couldn't the psychic fit in the small shirt? Because he was a medium
- Why do Americans wear sleeveless t-shirts? Because they have the right to bare arms
- Why did the dyslexic refuse to wear a polo shirt? Because he was Lacoste intolerant.
- What did the sunburnt manatee say? Man a tee shirt would be nice
- Your mama's so fat... Her shirts have more X's than Taylor Swift.
- A depressed shirt falls into a puddle. "I guess I'll go hang myself."
- A paraplegic stole my camo shirt You can hide but you can't run!
- I saw a fat dude with a Guess shirt on so I approached him and said " 380lbs?"
Men Shirts Jokes
Here is a list of funny men shirts jokes and even better men shirts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wanted to start a line of men's shirts made solely out of vegetables. But it doesn't seem that many guys are interested in Crop Tops.
- A study has shown 90% of women aren't interested in men that wear pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men that wear pink shirts aren't interested in women.
- 90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically, 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women.
Button Shirts Jokes
Here is a list of funny button shirts jokes and even better button shirts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Not saying we were poor, but many a time, my mother would send me next door with a button... ...and ask our neighbor if she would sew a shirt on it.
- bad day today I put on my shirt, a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase, the handle fell off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!!
Credit Rodney Dangerfield - It's been a rough morning. Picked up my coffee, handle came off. Put on a shirt, button came off. Grabbed my tool box, handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!
- On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, What are all these b**... for? He said, Those are to keep your shirt closed.
- On my first day of taking flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor, Wow! What are all these b**... for? He said, Those are used to keep your shirt closed.
- a misunderstanding teacher to class: can anyone use the word fascinate in a sentence?
little johnny: my sister has ten b**... on her shirt but she can only fasten eight
Flannel Shirts Jokes
Here is a list of funny flannel shirts jokes and even better flannel shirts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a guy who wears a flannel shirt and likes to sleep? A slumberjack
- A man was spotted carrying several stolen flannel shirts and scarves, as well as two gallons of cider when stopped by police the man claimed that he was "just a Fall guy"
- What's the difference between a lesbian and a s**... whale? Fifty pounds and a flannel shirt.
Amusing Shirts Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about shirts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sweatshirt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shirts pranks.
I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts.
Well sew it seams anyway.
You're so poor,
your neighborhood just received a box full of 49ers Superbowl champions t shirts.
Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?
In case he got a hole-in-one!
I like my women like I like my dress shirts....
White, collared, and wrapped around my body.
Job at a Cadbury's factory ..
>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
>"Oh packing fudge are we?"
>Or
>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."
>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??
A man walks into a t-shirt store...
There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."
Somewhere in Africa...
a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
Why do you have to separate red shirts when you put them into the laundry?
Because red shirts die easily.
Why are so many Italians named Tony?
Because on the boat over to America their shirts said To N.Y.
I was invited to a party...
The dress code said "black tie only".
But when I got there, I noticed other people had worn shirts and trousers too
I mixed up my jobs
I work as a party entertainer during the day and a hit man at night. I got a bit mixed up today at a kids party when we were making t shirts and they all said they wanted to dye.
How to DoS someone without any tech knowledge
Steal all their shirts and shoes
I would love to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle...
But I can't afford all the shirts.
All this trump merchandise made me wonder
We have make America great again hats, t shirts, and socks, but I've never seen a make America great again dress. I thought for a moment before realizing that presidential matter on dresses was bill clinton's thing.
Trump really does make everything overseas
He had his shirts made in Korea, his glasses made in China, and his Presidency made in Russia.
I feel the same way about slaves as I do shirts with flame patterns on them
I don't want to be friends with anyone who owns either of them
John: Carl, why do you have a bandage on your ear?
Carl: I was ironing my shirts and my phone rang. I picked up the iron instead of the the phone and burned my ear.
John: I get that. But why do you have a bandage on the other ear?
Carl: Well, the phone rang again.
I used to go to the flea market with 3 dollars and bring home pants, shirts, a game boy and even an old fancy chair
until they put cameras all over the place
why should golfers wear two shirts?
in case they get a hole in one
Poor children in African nations are really excited...
They're finally getting New England Patriot super bowl championship shirts!
As a man i avoid wearing pink shirts or anything too feminine ..
thats why my bra and p**... are always black.
My wife wears my shirts around the house and I never freak out...
Wear one of her dresses once and it's the end of our marriage.
I've figured out a way for the WNBA to sell more tickets
Just play shirts and skins.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Shirts
So like, you know how there's Extra Large and Extra Small sized clothing? Why can't I get something Extra Medium, like its the most generic sized shirt possible.
Friend: That's a nice-a**... shirt you're wearing.
Me: Thanks. They are called pants, not a**... shirts.
My wife always thinks really hard about ironing vs. putting her shirts in the dryer to get rid of wrinkles.
I asked her to not be so clothes-minded.
Why do NRA members wear sleeveless shirts?
Because they have a right to bare arms!
Second Amendment
The Second Amendment of the Constitution affords me the right to wear short sleeve shirts to work.
The right to bare arms.
I was having random bouts of diarrhea...
Couldn't figure out what the h**... was causing it.
Then I started keeping track. I realized it was only happening when I would wear those polo shirts with the little alligator stitched on them.
Turns out I'm Lacoste intolerant.
Did you hear what happened at the laundromat last night?
Three clothespins held up two shirts.
My wife phoned me.
"There are two men standing outside," she whispered in a panic. "I think they are going to break in to our house."
I said, "If they force their way in, don't let them have anything good. Ok?"
"Ok, ok. I'll try my best!" she cried.
I said, "No television, no Xbox, none of my expensive shirts. Ok?"
"Ok, ok!" she shouted. "But--my goodness, Thomas. What if they ask me for s**...?"
I said, "That'll be fine. I said 'anything good'."
You know you're a hipster when...
You iron your non-iron shirts just to be ironic.
Two other guys pulled out from going on space flight tomorrow with William Shatner
Right after they were issued red shirts for the mission.
How many sorority girls does it take to change a light bulb?
10
One to change the bulb and nine to make t shirts for the event.
Woman stopped me at the station and said for twenty bucks she'd do things my wife would never dream of ...
I gave her twenty bucks and she ironed three shirts.
Which historical period has the tidiest shirts?
The Iron Age
Amazon has started a new service where they deliver custom made shirts within 48 hours of ordering.
It's called Tailor Swift.
Some people give me strange looks when I put little dress shirts on my salads.
What can I say? I really like collared greens.
Police are on the lookout for a shoplifting gang systematically stealing shirts according to size
They're currently at large
A man who made tie-dyed shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his business.
While filling out the documents, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of dye all over his paperwork. The poor man dyed a loan.
The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good! In fact, you could say they have a high level of…..
Koala-t
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite Mary over for drinks
Roommates Sarah and Beth invite their friend Mary over for drinks. They are drinking wine and having a great time, when Mary spills her drink on her shirt. Mary asks Beth if she could borrow one of her tops. Beth laughs and says you'd never fit in one of my shirts, you're the size of a dinosaur!Try Sarah's tops.
Can Flemish and Dutch people understand each other?
Two Flemish men are in Holland and see a poster: "Shirts - 5 Euros". They turn to each other and say "Wow, that's cheap. Let's buy a dozen to resell them back in Belgium"
They enter the store and say, in their best possible Dutch: "We would like 10 shirts, please".
The man behind the counter answers "Ah, I see that you're Flemish" They reply: "Huh, how? Is our Dutch not that good?"
"No, you both speak it perfectly, but this is a dry cleaners"
Four priests decided to enjoy the beautiful weather and went golfing in polo shirts and khakis.
However, their game was not going well, and after a series of terrible shots, the caddy asked, "Are you guys priests?"
"Yes, we are," replied one of the priests, "Why?"
'Because,' said the caddy, "I've never seen such bad golf and such clean language."
I was discharged from the police academy for refusing to wear anything except Delta hats, Boeing ties, and JetBlue shirts.
I just wanted to be a plane-clothes cop.
