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Shirtless Jokes

8 shirtless jokes and hilarious shirtless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shirtless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking to make your partner, family, and friends laugh? From "wifebeater" shirts to oiled up chested men, this article will provide you with a great selection of shirtless jokes that are sure to leave everyone laughing.


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Howlingly Hilarious Shirtless Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What is a good shirtless joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Wife: You're shirtless?

(husband nods)
Wife: And covered in...oil?
-Well, you know how you always say I never glisten?
Wife: Listen. You never listen.
-Oh

My wife stared at me in disbelief and cried, You're shirtless and also covered in… oil?! I chuckled proudly, Well, you're always saying..."

"...I never glisten!"
She screamed, **"LISTEN!!** You never **listen!!"**

I just learnt that boxing is about two guys fighting the urge to come out as gay...

I mean. Two shirtless men fighting over a belt and a purse.
And they have to have another guy near them at all times who's entire job is to stop them from hugging.

A boy finds his Grandfather sitting out on the porch completely n**... from the waist down.

And he says, "Grandpa, where are your pants?"
The old man replies, "It was your Grandmother's idea. Yesterday I complained about having a stiff neck after sitting out here shirtless, so she suggested I stay out here pantsless before bedtime."

I had a dream that I killed all the dumb shirtless guys with 'swag' and their duckfaced girlfriends.

It was the Yolocaust.

My son was walking shirtless showing his 6 pack abs proudly and said 'This didn't happen by accident'

I said ' if you ask your mother,she would tell a different answer' .

My wife said to me, You're shirtless and also covered in… oil?

I said, Well, you're always saying I never glisten.
Listen! You never listen!

My wife stared at me with mouth agape and stammered, You're shirtless and also covered in…oil?!

I exclaimed proudly, Well, you're always saying I never glisten!
She threw her arms up in the air and screamed disgustedly, ** Listen!!** You never **listen! **


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