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Shirley Jokes

26 shirley jokes and hilarious shirley puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shirley that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Enjoy some of the funniest Shirley jokes around! From fooling around with classic Shirley Temple drinks to playing around with Sari and Edison, get ready to giggle at these hilarious jokes.

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Funniest Shirley Short Jokes

Short shirley jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shirley humour may include short sally jokes also.

  1. Just asked Siri. "Surely it's not going to rain today?"
    She said "it will, and don't call me Shirley"
    ...Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode.
  2. I asked Siri " surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow" and he replied " yes it is, and don't call me Shirley"...turns out I left airplane mode on
  3. Siri kept on calling me Shirley today I was beginning to get annoyed about it but then I realised I'd left my phone in Airplane mode.
  4. I asked Siri a question and she said, Don't call me Shirley. I must have left the phone in Airplane mode.
  5. This morning, Siri said, Don't call me Shirley. I accidentally left my phone in Airplane mode.
  6. Just asked Siri 'surely the weather is not going to be this miserable again tomorrow?' Siri replied, 'yes it will be and don't call me Shirley'
    Forgot to take my phone off Airplane mode
  7. Asked my iPhone, Surely I don't need an umbrella today? . Siri replied Yes, and don't call me Shirley . Turns out I left Airplane mode on.
  8. So Siri tells me there's a blizzard on the way, to which I say Surely you can't be serious and she replies I am serious and don't call me Shirley
    I must have left my phone in airplane mode
  9. I invented a new drink today; basically you start with a Shirley Temple and put a really old cocktail sausage in it. I call it the "Judge Roy Moore".
  10. *My iPhone on Airplane mode* Me: Siri, surely it must rain today
    Siri: It won't and don't call me Shirley

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Shirley One Liners

Which shirley one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shirley? I can suggest the ones about cloudy and manger.

  1. When I go to the bar I get a Lindsey Lohan. It's a Shirley Temple with a lot of coke
  2. I put my phone on airplane mode. Now it won't stop calling me Shirley.
  3. I tried to get drunk off of Shirley Temples But I didn't feel Annie-thing.
  4. That has to be her name, it just has to... Shirley.
  5. If a monk were to become a bartender, where would he study? The Shirley Temple
  6. Where do fat people go to worship? The Shirley Temple.
  7. Surely you can't be serious!? I am serious... And don't call me Shirley!

Shirley Temple Jokes

Here is a list of funny shirley temple jokes and even better shirley temple puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How was Shirley Temple's kidnapper able to get so much ransom money from her father? He had him by the short and curlies.
Shirley joke, How was Shirley Temple's kidnapper able to get so much ransom money from her father?

Charming Humor Shirley Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about shirley you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean rain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shirley pranks.

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, Surely, it's not going to rain today?

And she replied, Yes it is, and don't call me Shirley.
That was when I realized I'd left my phone on Airplane mode.

MY WIFE IS A LIAR!

'That wife of mine is a liar.' said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.
'How do you know?' the friend asked.
'She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley.'
'So?' the friend replied.
'So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!

That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

How do you know?" the friend asked.
"She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
"So?"
"So she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister, Shirley."

My wife is a liar

"That wife of mine is a liar." said an angry man to his pal seated with him at the bar.
"How do you know?" the friends asks
"She didn't come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she spent the night with her sister Shirley"
"So? What the problem" the friend asks in a confused manner
"So she's a liar. She wasn't at Shirley's, I spent the night with her sister Shirley!"

A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a bar

The priest has wine, the imam gets a Shirley Temple, and the bartender asks the rabbit, "what'll you have?"
The rabbit responds, "man, I dunno. I'm only here because of autocorrect."

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.
To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.
To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.
And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill."

A reporter interviews a 2000-year-old man

Reporter: is it true you had over nine hundred wives in your life?
2000 y/o Man: Indeed
Reporter: out of all your wives, which one was your favorite?
2000 y/o Man: Hmmm… Shirley. Definitely Shirley.
Reporter: And what made Shirley so special?
2000 y/o Man: Her friend Tammy.
(A classic Mel Brooks/Carl Reiner joke)

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Bob Saget walks in to a bar. ..

He joyfully exclaims to the bartender "Tonight I'm celebrating the first successful test of my time machine! Give me a v**... Shirley Temple!"
The bartender looks confused and says "but mister Saget, a Shirley Temple is always a v**...."
Bob Saget winks and says, "Not anymore."

Shirley joke, Bob Saget walks in to a bar. ..