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Shipping Jokes

64 shipping jokes and hilarious shipping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shipping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for some hilariously relatable shipping jokes? In this article, you'll find a collection of jokes about shipping containers, shipping and receiving, the shipping forecast, the shipping department, the shipping industry, and package delivery. Get ready to have a good laugh with buyers and providers alike!

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Funniest Shipping Short Jokes

Short shipping jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shipping humour may include short shipment jokes also.

  1. I bought a sail for my boat on amazon the other day. Today it dawned on me that it's not the right size so I called to cancel. They said it's too late. That sail has shipped.
  2. In the army, you have to pay $85 if you lose your rifle. That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.
  3. Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships? So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian.
  4. Why did Norway's Navy have barcodes on all the ships? So when they come back into port they can Scandinavian...
  5. Free shipping? I walked into an airport with two bags:
    "I want this one to go to Chicago, and this one to go to Paris."
    "Sir, you can't do that."
    "Why not? It happened the last time."
  6. Why are ships' portholes round? So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.
  7. How do viking ships communicate with each other? Norse code
    I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up
  8. Why are so many Italian men named Tony? When they ship them over from the Old Country, they stamp "To N.Y." on them...
  9. TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in
  10. Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy? They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm.

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Shipping One Liners

Which shipping one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shipping? I can suggest the ones about packing and shipped.

  1. Alright guys, the Suez Canal jokes are getting a bit old now. That ship has sailed.
  2. Why does Norway's Navy have barcodes on their ships? It's to Scandinavian.
  3. An LGBQT cruising ship sinks in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? The flambuoyants.
  4. What do you call a communist pirate ship? The USS-ARRR
  5. Why are the great pyramid in Egypt? The British couldn't fit them on their ships.
  6. What did they find in the toilet in the star ship Enterprise? The captain's log.
  7. I just saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. It was riveting.
  8. A vampires favorite ship Is a blood vessel.
  9. What do sea monster like to eat? Fish and ships
  10. What do you name an American, Communist Pirate Ship? The U.S.S. ARRRGH
  11. Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine.
  12. I watched a documentary about how ships are kept together. Riveting
  13. Did you know that Norway puts barcodes on their ships?? It's so they can scan da navy in
  14. What is the strictest part of a ship? The stern
  15. Last night I watched a documentary on how they put ships together... It was riveting!

Free Shipping Jokes

Here is a list of funny free shipping jokes and even better free shipping puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • America is a free country! Shipping fees not included.
  • My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships. And here I thought he believed in free Enterprise.
  • My friend let's everyone use his Amazon account for free shipping We call him the Prime Minister
  • Never fall for offers of a free boat.. They'll always get you with the shipping fees
  • Why do fanfic writers like Amazon Prime? They get free two-day shipping.
  • My wife is going to qualify for free shipping no matter how much it costs.
  • The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*
  • Farts are like musical instruments... They ship duty free.
  • Why did Shipping get locked up? And why do so many companies want him to go free?
  • India to ship free phones to Pakistan Samsung note 7 to be given free to all t**... and Pakistani army.
    Game over

Shipping And Receiving Jokes

Here is a list of funny shipping and receiving jokes and even better shipping and receiving puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just received an email notifying me that my order has shipped! Just think, in one week I'll be a married man.
  • An American ship is next to German land Captain: "May day! May day! We are sinking!!"
    German receiver: "What are you sinking about?!"
  • I received a notification for my order... Dear Fushia,
    Your shipment for your washing machine will ship for cheap by ship.
Shipping joke, I received a notification for my order...

Shipping Container Jokes

Here is a list of funny shipping container jokes and even better shipping container puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a shipping container full of snails? Escargo
  • How efficient is shipping goods in a large metal container? Semi
  • Did you hear about the new xbox brand bulk shipping container? It was an xbox xbox box box.
  • Yo mama so fat That she uses a shipping container as a casket
Shipping joke, Yo mama so fat

Comedy Shipping Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle

What funny jokes about shipping you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean delivery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shipping pranks.

(Original) What do you call a feminist government?

A d**...-hater-ship.

A joke I heard while working in China a few years ago

A Chinese state-owned container ship is highjacked by pirates. A Chinese Communist Party official is sent to negotiate.
The pirates' leader, waving his gun, shouted: the ransom is TEN MILLION dollars! Or everyone on the ship will die!
The official responded, calmly: I will give you twenty million, but you'll write me a receipt of forty million.

my nagging wife died suddenly on a trip in Jeruselum

f**... director: "Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem"
Me: "ship her home"
f**... director: "But sir, why don't you bury her here in the Holy Land and you can save money"
Me: "A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead, I can't take that chance"

Every cook has a secret

The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.

Two new recruits were on the deck of a ship.

One turns to other and says, "Its awfully quiet on deck tonight. Isn't it?"
Other recruit replies, "Everyone must be watching the band."
"There is no band on this ship."
"No, I definitely heard the captain say, a band on ship."

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one of the passenger asks, "who is that man over there?"

"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."

A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber p**..., floated in the vicinity.

The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."

A guy comes back home to his small town from overseas at the end of WWII. The town plans a big parade for him the next day. He remembers that the day before he shipped out three years earlier, he left a pair of dress shoes at the shoemaker's for repair.

He finds the receipt ticket and rushes to the shoemaker's to get them. The shoemaker examines the ticket and disappears into the back for a couple of minutes. When he returns he says, "They'll be ready Thursday."

A captain notices a light in the distance, on a collision course with his ship.

He turns on his signal lamp and sends, Change your course, 10 degrees west.
The light signals back, Change yours, 10 degrees east.
The captain gets a little annoyed. He signals, I'm a US Navy captain. You must change your course, sir.
The light signals back, I'm a s**... First Class. You must change your course, sir.
Now the captain is mad. He signals, I'm an aircraft carrier. I'm not changing my course.
The light signals back a final message: I'm a lighthouse. Your call.

2 men go fishing, One has a stutter

The man with a stutter says shh ssshhh sshh . The other man says what is it, did you catch a fish ? The stuttering man continues to make ssshhh noises, the other man says spit it out . The stuttering man says ssshhh ship!! Before the 2nd man can react a ship crashes into their boat.
Months later they both have recovered and go on another fishing trip. The stuttering man again starts saying ssshhh . The 2nd man starts panicking thinking he's going to get hurt again. The 2nd man jumps out of the boat as fast as he can, the stuttering man says sshhh sshhh Shark!!

A magician gets himself a parrot for his act

After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"

Effective immediately, the navy is only conscripting non-swimmers.

They defend the ships much more eagerly.

A man joins a ship's crew as a cook

A man finds himself as the cook on a ship that has just set off on a voyage. He does a quick survey of the kitchen. Everything seems good except in the pantry he finds several bags of potatoes that are all shaped like p**.... "That's weird," he thinks as he goes and finds the captain.
"Hey, captain, what's with all the potatoes looking like p**.... I don't like it," he says.
The captain replies, "Well you can't change it. This is a dictatorship."

Yoda and Luke Skywalker are together in a ship when Luke asks...

Luke: are we on track?
Yoda: off course, we are.

Every year, hundreds of kids are shipped off to mime school...

...never to be heard from again.

When I lost my p**..., the Army charged me $125.

That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship.

Did you know the Norwegian navy has giant barcodes on the sides of it's ships?

Apparently so they can Scandinavian

Shipping joke, Did you know the Norwegian navy has giant barcodes on the sides of it's ships?

jokes about shipping