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Shining Jokes

57 shining jokes and hilarious shining puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shining that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover a selection of hilarious jokes from Shining Time Station, the popular children's TV show that brought you light-hearted entertainment and glint of brightness. We guarantee these jokes will leave you with some footprints of laughter!

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Funniest Shining Short Jokes

Short shining jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shining humour may include short shines jokes also.

  1. Last night, I gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I went to the bar. I mean, she always said she wanted... ...a night in, shining armor.
  2. I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like! [Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.
  3. I saw a black guy running down the street carrying a tv I thought for a second, "man that looks a lot like mine' so I ran home quick and nope there was mine still shining my shoes.
  4. I saw a black man walking down the street with a TV. "That looks a lot like mine..." I thought... Then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes.
  5. As I was driving home I saw a black man carrying a TV down the street... Nervously, I had to wonder if it was mine, but then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes
  6. Why did the summer solstice have a successful modeling career? It knew how to "shine" on the runway.
  7. i once found a vampire in my hotel so i stabbed it with a wooden stake, shined my flashlight at it and threw holy water at it. died instantly. still don't know why it had a bucket of candy tho.
  8. My mother in law complained that the thermometer I gave her (which she hung in a very sunny spot) wasn't showing an accurate temperature. So I told her to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
  9. I'm just okay during Pride Month. But just wait until sloth Month. Or Gluttony Month. That's my time to shine.
  10. A friend told me he saw a black guy on a stolen bike getting hit by a train I rushed home, afraid that it was mine.
    But thankfully, mine was still in my basement shining my shoes.

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Shining One Liners

Which shining one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shining? I can suggest the ones about sparkling and glowing.

  1. How are women and lightbulbs alike? Both shine light into your life (:
  2. What attracts knights in shining armor even more than damsels in distress? Magnets
  3. What did the winter solstice say to the darkness? "I shine brightest when you're around!"
  4. What do you get if you cross shoe polish with yeast? Loafers that rise and shine
  5. What is a Knight in Shining Armors greatest enemy? An itch.
  6. How does Kanye make Kim Kardashian's eyes twinkle? He shines a flashlight in her ear.
  7. Polish is a lot like Finnish Theyre both used to make furniture shine
  8. What is the Asian version of "good morning"? "Rice and shine!"
  9. I broke the lamp today Cause nothing shines brighter than me.
  10. What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you will rise and shine.
  11. What would you write on the grave of a knight in shining armor? RUST IN PEACE
  12. How do you make blond's eyes shine? Just put flashlight to her ear and turn it on.
  13. Why didn't the sun ever shine on the castle? It was full of knights.
  14. Fox is good on Final Destination... but Fountain of Dreams is where he shines.
  15. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
    A: Shine a flashlight in her ears.

Shining joke

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about shining can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of shining puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Fun-Filled Shining Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about shining you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean sunshine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make shining prank.

What's the difference between a knight in shining armour and a naughty baker

A knight in shining armour darts on the foe

Two Mexican men have just crossed the border into the U.S.

They are now wandering through the Arizona desert. In short time, they become lost amongst the sand, praying for any sign of civilization. They spend days out there, and are on the verge of death from heat and starvation.
When suddenly, a shining oasis appears before them. The water is crystal clear and it is surrounded with lush foliage. And in the center is one specific tree. It is a majestic plant and from it's branches hang the most unexpected of things.
Bacon. Delicious, crispy bacon. Enough to feed a man for days. Without even thinking, one of the men bolts for the oasis, desperate for food and water. As he reaches the half way point, from behind the tree springs forth a man wielding a machine gun. The poor immigrant is gunned down and lays in the sand, dieing. His friend runs to him and says
> Miguel, are you alright? What happened to you?
To which the man responds, looking up at his friend with his dieing breath
> Pedro, it is not a bacon tree...it is a hambush.

I see a black guy running down the street with a TV and thought it looked like mine, but it wasn't...

.. mine was at home shining my shoes.

So I was walking home from work....

And I saw this black guy carrying a tv and I thought it was mine but then I ran home and mine was still there shining my shoes.

The secret to wealth

A young man once asked a rich older man how he made all his money.
The dapper old fellow smoothed his tailored jacket and said, "Well young man, it was 1932, in the depths of the Great Depression. I was down to the last penny I had."
"I took that penny and I went and bought an apple. I spent the whole day shining that apple until it gleamed like the sun, then I took that apple to the market and sold it for two cents."
"The next day I took those two cents and bought two apples. I shined those apples all day and night until they were perfect, then I sold them at the market for four cents the next day. I worked at it like this for a month, sometimes selling, sometimes not, and at the end of the month I'd amassed myself a fortune. Nearly eight whole dollars. I'd never been so proud of myself in my life."
"Then my wife's father died and left us 2 million bucks."

So I was walking down the street the other day, and saw this black guy...

carrying a tv. At first I thought, "Hey, that looks like mine!" But then I remembered mine is at home shining my shoes.

So I was walking outside yesterday(potentially offensive)...

when I saw a black guy with a TV. I was shocked, and I rushed back home, thinking it was mine. But luckily, it was still there, shining my shoes.

I saw a black guy carrying a TV down the street the other day so I had to run back home and check that mine was still there.

It's OK though, mine was still there, just sitting there shining my shoes.

I saw a black man carrying a T.V. today

I though that it looked like mine, but when I got home he was still shining my shoes

My wife and I decided to go out for the day. We went for a long stroll in the park, bought some ice creams and sat by the pond, feeding the ducks. Eventually she turned to me and said, "Have you had a nice day?"

I said, "Yes thanks. It was 1987, the sun was shining and I'd just left school."

[OC] I thought of an astronomy joke tonight.

A shining star walks into a bar and the barmen says, "Wow, you're positively *scintillating*."

Here are some few movie jokes:

The Shining: A family's first Airbnb experience goes very wrong.
• The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.
• Titanic: Everyone tries the ice-bucket challenge.
• Beauty and the Beast: Stockholm syndrome works.
• The Chronicles of Narnia: Kid comes out of the closet.

A black man is walking down the street...

I saw a black man walking down the street, carrying a TV with him.
"That's funny" I thought, "I could've sworn that was mine!"
But then I remembered, it *couldn't* be mine, because mine was at home,
Shining my shoes.

Cafe Chit Chat

At a local cafe, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night! An old granny overheard and spoke up, Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!

I saw a black man running..

I was walking down the street one evening and I saw a black man running holding a television. I thought to my self "i wonder if that's mine", so I hurried back home and lo and behold it was still there, shining my shoes.

Left my wife polishing my chainmail while I went to the pub

She said she wanted a night in, shining armour

I told my wife to spend the evening polishing my medieval battle uniform, whilst I went out to the pub.

She's always going on about wanting a night in, shining armour.

I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.

She always wanted a night in, shining armour.

I built the most American guitar ever

Made completely out of mirror polished, stainless steel from the World Trade Center in the shape of a bald eagle carrying a rifle.
Only has one octave, but I enjoy playing it, from C to shining C.

The guy that polishes my shoes doesn't enjoy Stephen King's books.

But he's always loved The Shining

The evening after they were married, Harry set Meghan to work, polishing his set of Royal plate mail.

Well, she did say she always wanted a night in, shining armour.

Princess Meghan's dream came true, she spent an entire evening polishing Harry's suit of plate mail...

She finally got her night in, shining armour.

When Princess Meghan confronted Prince Harry about spending their wedding evening polishing his plate mail...

Harry said, "What!? You told me, all you ever wanted was a night in, shining armour!"

My wife said she'd polish my helmet this evening. I'm happy and she said it's what she's always wanted...

...my medieval bascinet has a lovely gleam and she gets her night in, shining armour.

Fulfilling Career

Shoe shining should be just below Bishop in the Church -
They touch so many soles.

I saw a black man walking down the road with a television in his hands, and I thought, "Huh, that kind of looks like mine."

Then I remembered that mine was at home, shining my shoes.

Mommy, mommy, christmas tree is burning!

Sweetie, the christmas tree is shining, not burning.
Mommy, the carpet and curtains are now shining too!

I always wanted to see my name in shining lights.

So I changed my name to Exit.

I woke up this morning at 9:30, made coffee, stepped out for the day's first cigarette, and was greeted by a gorgeous spring day. The sun was shining the birds were singing...

Then I ripped a**... like a bologna windmill slapping a tile floor.

Just wanted to share an old joke I read a long time back.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson once go camping. In the middle of the night, Watson is woken up violently by Sherlock. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see." "The stars are shining so beautifully tonight." To which Sherlock replies,"No, you idiot! Our tent's been stolen."

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, brown eyes, are wearing blue shorts, have a big brother, are 28 years old and your favourite movie is The Shining?

The Specific Ocean

An Irishman was flustered because he couldn't find a parking space in a large mall's parking lot.

"Lord," he prayed. "I can't stand this! If you open up a space for me, I swear I'll give up drinking whiskey, and I promise to go to church every Sunday."
The clouds parted, sun shining on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the Irishman said, "Nevermind, found one!"

My wife asked me if she looked fat in her new dress.

I told her: "You look like a beautiful shining star"
She replied: "Awhh..."

But then I added: "A neutron star" and she slapped me.
I was hoping she was too dense to understand the joke.

"How much do you love me?" she asked.

I said, "Look into the sky and count the stars. That's how much I love you."
"But the sun is shining!" she said.
"There you go."

Shining joke, "How much do you love me?" she asked.

jokes about shining

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these shining jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.