Shield Jokes
21 shield jokes and hilarious shield puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shield that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Shield jokes are the perfect way to bring some light-hearted humour to any situation. Whether it's a face shield, Canadian shield, human shield or riot shield, the jokes will bring a smile to even the most defenseless of protectors. Enjoy a laugh-out-loud collection of shield jokes, stories and puns, perfect for anyone looking to add a bit of levity to their day.
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Funniest Shield Short Jokes
Short shield jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shield humour may include short protection jokes also.
- "Do you know what the hardest part of the night is?" asked the taxi driver. "Is it his shield?" I asked.
- Did you hear the joke about the shield from Greek mythology? I would think so, it's been around for aegis.
- Captain America's shield was made of Adamantium. What was Hawkeye's shield made of? Quicksilver.
- Warning potential Avengers Age of Ultron Spoilers. What is Captain America's shield made out of? -Vibranium
-What's Hawkeye's shield made out of?
-Quicksilver - Why does Black Widow love sitting on Captain America's shield? Because it's made out of vibranium.
- Wonder Woman has a lot of equipment. A lasso, bracelets, tiara, sword, shield... I used to wonder where she gets it all, but then I remembered... Amazon...
- Have you heard about that Human Shield theory? You know, I like it, I could get behind that!
- I'm playing serious Sam vr with my dad. Me: Remember you have a shield use it!
Dad: Where's the button for it?
Me: Where your middle finger naturally rests.
Dad: so in your mom. - This morning I saw a lady scraping the ice off her wind shield with her credit card. ..She's not going to make any progress at that rate.
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Shield One Liners
Which shield one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shield? I can suggest the ones about armour and armor.
- How much does a Human shield cost? One life
- Did you hear about the hostage situation at the spice factory? They used a cumin shield.
- What is the best way to break a shield apart? Seth Rollins with a chair
- Captain America hasn't been seen for over two months! Apparently he's shielding.
- Why does Mr duck have to replace his wind shield? It's was quaked
- What's the best defense against Britney Spears? Brooke Shields.
- Chuck Norris would have attacked the Death Star with the Shield Generator still up.
Ridiculous Shield Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about shield you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean protect jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shield pranks.
Sean Connery told me he got a tattoo of armour on his mouth, and that I mustn't tell anyone.
"OK," I replied, "And I recently cheated on my wife. So you must keep my secret, if you want me to keep yours."
He said, "My lips are shield."
Little Birdie
A man was sunbathing at a n**... beach one sunny afternoon when a little girl walks up to the man. The man immediately covers his g**... with a newspaper to shield the girl from looking at them.
"What's under there, Sir?" the naive little girl asks.
"It's my little birdie and he's trying to sleep," the man replies.
"Ok."
The man falls asleep as the girl walks away. He wakes up in the hospital with horrible pains in the pelvic region. He then sees the little girl and asks, "What happened?"
"I went back to get something to feed your little bird and you fell asleep, so I pet the bird and it spit at me so I SNAPPED IT'S NECK, SMASHED HIS EGGS, AND BURNED HIS NEST!!!"
