Shh Jokes
19 shh jokes and hilarious shh puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shh that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Shh Short Jokes
Short shh jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shh humour may include short silence jokes also.
- What do you call a really, really quiet piece of meat? A shh-kebab.
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I love you too, fellas. - Trump: Remember, the less immigrants we let in, the better. Pence: The fewer
Trump: Shh don't call me that in public yet - A man got a cat A man got a cat and walked to his wife and said "so what do you think of the cow ?"
His wife said that's a cat.
The man said "shh I'm talking to the cat" - Said the man to the maiden... Said the man to the maiden as the lay there by the see, "Shh, someone's coming!" Said the maiden, "Hush! It's me!"
- My elderly grandfather came over and complained of diarrhea. He repeatedly told everyone "Shh". It took us a while to realize he'd lost "it".
- Never Ending Story (You will not get it if you never saw the movie.) Bastian: Shh, can you hear that? Someone is here.
Atreyu: There's nothing there.
Bastian: Exactly. - Dad Joke "Hey dad, why are you hiding behind that bush with a poncho?"
"Shh, you'll blow my cover!"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm in wetness protection"
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"Whatever, dad" - A congressional aide asks the politician, What should we do about this abortion bill? Politician: Shh. Just pay it.
- What I find most s**... in a girl is her personality Girl: Oh good, cus I have several of those!
Guy: Uh... what?
Girl: _Shh!_ don't _listen_ to _her!_
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Shh One Liners
Which shh one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shh? I can suggest the ones about protection and silent.
- What do spies say in bed? Shh I'm undercovers
- I watched a silent film version of Stephen Kings "it" the other day. It was Shh-it.
- 3 elephants jump out of a plane 2 hit the ground and 1 hit the water
Bump bump shh - When you're out of the loop. Shh bby is ok
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Shh Jokes
What funny jokes about shh you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean papa jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shh pranks.
My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.
I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"
2 men go fishing, One has a stutter
The man with a stutter says shh ssshhh sshh . The other man says what is it, did you catch a fish ? The stuttering man continues to make ssshhh noises, the other man says spit it out . The stuttering man says ssshhh ship!! Before the 2nd man can react a ship crashes into their boat.
Months later they both have recovered and go on another fishing trip. The stuttering man again starts saying ssshhh . The 2nd man starts panicking thinking he's going to get hurt again. The 2nd man jumps out of the boat as fast as he can, the stuttering man says sshhh sshhh Shark!!
An elderly man is with his wife who is on her deathbed
As she lay there, she says to her husband, "Honey, I must tell you a secret before I die"
"Shh, there is nothing you need to tell me." the husband replies.
"No, I must tell you that I slept with your brother, best friend and the neighbor." the wife responds.
The husband says, "I know this. That is why I poisoned you. Now go to sleep, darling."
Some people were taking a tour of a rubber factory
On the tour they stop by where the factory made baby bottles caps. Everyone could hear the machine working: "Shh, pop, shh, pop, shh, pop". One of the tourists asked the guide what the noises were.
"well you see, the shhing sound is the rubber filling the moulds and the popping is the machine poking a hole where the liquid will come out"
Everyone thought that made sense and moved along the tour. Later on, the group came to where the factory made condoms. This time they heard, "Shh, shh, pop, shh, shh, pop". And again someone asked what the noises were.
The tour guide answers, "well its the same noises as the baby bottle caps. The shhing is the filling of the c**... mould and the popping is the machine poking a hole in every other c**..."
One man interjects, "well that can't be too good for the c**... business!"
The tour guide then replies, "yea but it's great for the baby bottle cap business!"