Shellfish Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

a scallop fell in love with a clam...

and against everyone 's advice they got married. and six short months later sure enough they filed for divorce and went their separate ways. their problem was obvious to anyone who knew them. they were just two shellfish .

Why don't clams donate to charity?

They're shellfish.

Why don't crabs give charitable donations?

Because they're shellfish.

Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys?

Because he was... shellfish.


Why don't oysters donate to charity?

Because they're shellfish!

Why don't lobsters share?

Because they're shellfish...

Why did the crab hate to share?

He was a little shellfish.

Why don't oysters share their pearls?

Because they're shellfish.

What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster?


Why don't crabs donate to charity?

They're shellfish penny pinchers.

What do you call a group of racist shellfish?

The Ku Klux Klams

My girlfriend won't share her surf and turf with me...

Shellfish cow

My younger brother told me this. Why don't crabs give to charity?

Because they are shellfish

Why did the baby oyster refuse to share his toys?

He was a little shellfish.

What do you call a lobster that won't share?


What do you call a territorial lobster?


So my ex girlfriend called me told me she has clamydia...

it didnt surprise me

she was always a shellfish lover

What does Sean Connery call a shrimp that won't share?


Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

"You're two shellfish."

Dad joke alert: why didn't the crab and lobster get along?

They were too shellfish.

Why won't any sea creatures date oysters?

Rumour has it they're shellfish lovers.

Why didn't the shrimp share his food??

He was a little shellfish

What kind of cars do shellfish drive?

Mussel cars.

Why was Sean Connery giving away his lobster costume?

He was trying to be a little less shellfish.

Lobsters are greedy. They never give anything to charity. They're just shellfish.

But that's being too hard on them. Not everyone can afford to be a philanthropod.

Why don't oysters give to charity?

They are shellfish.

My dyslexic brother-in-law eats shellfish for anxiety...

He says it clams him down.

Did you hear about the racist shellfish?

He joined the Ku Klux Klam.

Stop eating all the shrimp, Sean Connery

It's shellfish.

Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?

Because he is a little shellfish.

What did the waiter say to the lobster who soaked up too much butter?

That was very shellfish of you.

Why didnt the shrimp let anyone else eat?

He was being SHELLFISH

My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish.

You might say a New England clam chowed her.

Why didn't the shrimp share its toys?

Because it was shellfish

Beautiful clams don't look out for others

They're pretty shellfish

Why don't abalone exchange gifts?

They're pretty shellfish.

Why didn't the shrimp share his treasure?

He was a little shellfish.

Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?

Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.

They call it the clam before the storm.

Why would a crustatean not be good in an open relationship?

They would get too shellfish

Depressed people with an allergy to shellfish

They must think the world is their oyster

How come oysters never donate to charity?

They are all shellfish.

Why don't shrimp donate to charities?

Because they're shellfish.

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

The prawnbroker.

Why did the clam get dumped?

Because he was shellfish!

You should never trust shrimp.

You never know how shellfish they'll turn out to be.

How do shellfish get high?

At a clam bake

Why didn't the prawn like sharing?

Because he was a little shellfish



Why are clams bad at sharing?

Because they are shellfish.

why did the lobster refuse to help anyone else?

because he's shellfish

Why does Sean Connery hog all of the oysters at a seafood dinner?

Because it's shellfish.

What do you call a timid Canadian shellfish?

A cool clux clam.

I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster.

Its didnt work out. She was a little shellfish.

Why wouldn't blastoise share with charizard?

He was a shellfish pokemon.

Why didn't the prison lobster have any friends?

He was shellfish.

received crabs

from shellfish lover

Why do molluscs only think of themselves?

Because they're shellfish

What do you call a self absorbed lobster?

A little shellfish!


What type of fish doesn't like sharing?


Why do all spanish like shellfish?

Because it's Si-food...

How do you get a lobster to care about others?

You can't. They're shellfish.

Did you hear about the dyslexic marathoner who would only eat shellfish the night before races?

He was crabo-loading.

Why could the lobster never stay in a relationship?

He was far too shellfish.

Why did the fisherman always give away his catch?

Because it wasn't shellfish.

I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster.

It didnt go well. She was a little shellfish.

I have a shellfish allergy and I got an allergic reaction to it

So The Fine Brothers sued me

What are the funniest shellfish jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Shellfish? Well, here are the best Shellfish puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Shellfish pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes