Shellfish Jokes
109 shellfish jokes and hilarious shellfish puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about shellfish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From puns about oysters to jokes about clams, discover the best shellfish jokes out there. Laugh until you have to stop and take a breath with hilarious puns and short jokes about all your favorite mollusks including oysters, clams, and pearls. Perfect for those with and without shellfish allergies!
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Funniest Shellfish Short Jokes
Short shellfish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The shellfish humour may include short seafood jokes also.
- Why did the oyster's girlfriend leave him? He was shellfish in the seabed
No, my 4 year old son didn't write this. I did. - I heard Mr. Krabbs is teaching a course on therapeutic carpentry projects. It's a selfish shellfish's shelf help self-help.
- Why won't a pair of lobsters share their best jokes with each other? Because they are two shellfish
- A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who ticks a box that says they promise not to eat shellfish. They call it their No Clams Bonus.
- Why did the oyster get dumped by his girlfriend? He's shellfish
- What do you call a lobster that won't share? Shellfish
- What do you call a territorial lobster? Shellfish.
- Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce? Because they were both too Shellfish.
- So my ex girlfriend called me told me she has clamydia... it didnt surprise me
she was always a shellfish lover - What does Sean Connery call a shrimp that won't share? Shellfish.
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Shellfish One Liners
Which shellfish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with shellfish? I can suggest the ones about shrimp and lobster.
- Do you know why the clam murdered the oyster? Shellfish reasons
- Why won't shrimps share their treasure? Because they're shellfish.
- Why don't clams donate to charity? They're shellfish.
- Why wouldn't the lobster share his toys? Because he was... shellfish.
hahahaha - Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish...
- What do you call a crustacean who's always thinking of himself? Shellfish!
- Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish!
- Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they're shellfish!
- Why did the crab hate to share? He was a little shellfish.
- Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish.
- What does Sean Connery call a greedy oyster? Shellfish.
- What do you call a group of racist shellfish? The Ku Klux Klams
- My girlfriend won't share her surf and turf with me... Shellfish cow
- Why did the shrimp break up with her boyfriend? He was really shellfish!
- Why did the baby oyster refuse to share his toys? He was a little shellfish.
Shellfish Allergy Jokes
Here is a list of funny shellfish allergy jokes and even better shellfish allergy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Depressed people with an allergy to shellfish They must think the world is their oyster
- I have a shellfish allergy and I got an allergic reaction to it So The Fine Brothers sued me
Humorous Shellfish Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about shellfish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sea shell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make shellfish pranks.
Why didnt the shrimp let anyone else eat?
He was being SHELLFISH
Why didn't the shrimp share its toys?
Because it was shellfish
My younger brother told me this. Why don't c**... give to charity?
Because they are shellfish
Why wouldn't the shrimp share his toys?
Because he is a little shellfish.
Why does Sean Connery hog all of the oysters at a seafood dinner?
Because it's shellfish.
Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?
It raises their shellfish steam.
What did the waiter say to the lobster who soaked up too much butter?
That was very shellfish of you.
a scallop fell in love with a clam...
and against everyone 's advice they got married. and six short months later sure enough they filed for divorce and went their separate ways. their problem was obvious to anyone who knew them. they were just two shellfish .
why did the lobster refuse to help anyone else?
because he's shellfish
What do you call a self absorbed lobster?
A little shellfish!
I'll^see^myself^out...
I went on a date last night with a tiny lobster.
Its didnt work out. She was a little shellfish.
Why do molluscs only think of themselves?
Because they're shellfish
How did the shrimp eat all the fish food?
shellfishly
What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?
"You're two shellfish."
Why wouldn't blastoise share with charizard?
He was a shellfish pokemon.
Why don't oysters give to charity?
They are shellfish.
How come oysters never donate to charity?
They are all shellfish.
Stop eating all the shrimp, Sean Connery
It's shellfish.
What kind of cars do shellfish drive?
Mussel cars.
Why are clams bad at sharing?
Because they are shellfish.
How do shellfish get high?
At a clam bake
Why didn't the shrimp share his food??
He was a little shellfish
How do you get a lobster to care about others?
You can't. They're shellfish.
What do you call a timid Canadian shellfish?
A cool clux clam.
Why would a crustatean not be good in an open relationship?
They would get too shellfish
Dad joke alert: why didn't the crab and lobster get along?
They were too shellfish.
Why don't c**... give charitable donations?
Because they're shellfish.
Why won't any sea creatures date oysters?
Rumour has it they're shellfish lovers.
Why was Sean Connery giving away his lobster costume?
He was trying to be a little less shellfish.
Why don't abalone exchange gifts?
They're pretty shellfish.
Lobsters are greedy. They never give anything to charity. They're just shellfish.
But that's being too hard on them. Not everyone can afford to be a philanthropod.
My girlfriend fell off a fishing boat just off the coast of Maine and was devoured by a giant shellfish.
You might say a New England clam chowed her.
You should never trust shrimp.
You never know how shellfish they'll turn out to be.
Why did the clam get dumped?
Because he was shellfish!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawnbroker.
Why didn't the prawn like sharing?
Because he was a little shellfish
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Why don't c**... donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
Did you hear about the racist shellfish?
He joined the Ku Klux Klam.
Beautiful clams don't look out for others
They're pretty shellfish
Did you know that tornadoes can displace shellfish?
Apparently the locals in danger areas are able to identify oncoming bad weather due to the shellfish preceding it.
They call it the clam before the storm.
Why do c**... never give to charity?
Because they're shellfish
My dyslexic brother-in-law eats shellfish for anxiety...
He says it clams him down.
The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,
that's shellfish.
Why won't the shrimp share its treasure?
Because it's shellfish.
Why didn't the lobster want to share?
Because he was shellfish
What do you call a shellfish that is really into b**...?
A mussel bound freak.
There is only one reason c**... don't donate and its
They are shellfish
Why wouldn't the shrimp share his snack?
He was shellfish.
What did the shellfish say to his crush?
Nothing, he just clammed up.
What do you call a shellfish Action movie star?
Jean Claude Van Clam.
A couple of shrimp were at the bar next to me, eating a bowl of fries. I went to ask if I could have one, but the bartender stopped me. "Don't bother," he said, "they won't share.
They're two shellfish."
So everyone is getting mad at me after telling jokes about marine wildlife
I think it's a turtle over reaction. It just being shellfish and it's giving me a bad haddock. I mean, I don't do them on porpoise...
Why don't c**... donate?
Because they're shellfish.
I'm walking down the street when out of nowhere a shellfish falls out of the sky
and hits me in the head. Dazed, I pick up the mollusk and say "Where did you come from, little guy?" The shell creases open slightly and I hear it say "A tornado picked me and threw me. You better get somewhere safe, it's headed this way!" I look around and see mostly blue skies, except for a few clouds. That's when I realized:
It was the clam before the storm.
Red Lobster cut me off the all-you-can-eat buffet after one plate!
Shellfish b**...!
What do you call a crab that, despite being warned, insists on driving intoxicated?
Very shellfish.
I woke up one night to someone knocking on my front door.
I felt uneasy, but I went and answered it anyway. When I opened the door, I looked around, and then spotted a shellfish on my welcome mat.
"Let me in", it cried, "I'm being chased by a bunch of wasps."
That was when I realized why I felt so uneasy.
This was the clam before the swarm.
Dexter Holland wasn't always lead singer of the Offspring
Long ago he was in the seafood industry. He had a job shucking oysters for a restaurant. Anyway, one day he sees an ad for a competition in oyster shucking, but it is a team challenge. He shows up solo, and knows he won't be let in. His confidence is low at this point, but he still signs up. The attendant notices he only writes down one name, and asks why, to which Dexter replies:
"I'm just a shucker with no shellfish team"
Why does Sean Connery have the misconception that crustaceans are egocentric?
Because they are shellfish.
